Through the Years
by trace619
Summary: A series of one shots following Alex and Olivia from their first meeting as children to adulthood. Follows their ups and downs as friends and eventually maybe something more. Slightly AU.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So here's my new story. A series of one shots that follow Alex and Olivia from childhood friends to adulthood. I do plan for them to be related but each can stand on its own. I already have a few chapters for this written but let me know if you like it and are interested in reading more. I own nothing but my own characters. Hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 1

Eight year old Olivia Benson walked up the steps of the NYC public library. It was summer vacation and her mother had signed her up for the summer reading program there. While most kids were excited for summer break Olivia wasn't. Summer break meant being home with her mother, if she was lucky her mother would sleep most of the morning before going out in the evening and coming in and passing out on the sofa that night. At least with this she could be away from her mother for a few hours. After registering she took a seat on one of the mats on the floor. She looked up hoping to at least get a smile from Serena but all she got was a slight wave and she would pick her up later.

Alex Cabot walked into the room that was set up for her age group. Most summers they spent at either their home in the Hampton's or would visit her Mom's parents in Boston. This summer due to her Dad's job they were staying at home in the city. Alex loved to read and begged her mother to sign her up for the summer program when she saw it advertised at the library. Anything would be better than following her mother to all the boring charity events she attended.

Olivia looked up when she noticed someone sitting down beside her. She smiled at the blonde haired girl and received one in return. They sat quietly for a bit before she could feel the other girl staring at her. She turned to look at her "Hi."

Alex smiled "Hi." She waited a moment "My name's Alexandra but everyone calls me Alex. What's yours?"

"Olivia."

They were cut off from speaking any more when the librarian called the groups attention. They sat and listened to her talk about the library before being given instructions for a game to find certain books in the library. Both girls were happy when they were partnered together, seeing as they already knew each other's names.

By the end of the afternoon the two girls had hit it off and were giggling and talking like they had known each other for years. Alex introduced her mother to her new friend and began to worry when she realized Olivia was the only kid left. "Where's your Mom?"

"Um, she'll be here. She's probably just running late." In all honesty Olivia had no idea when her mother would pick her up. She figured her mother was drunk and had forgotten about her.

"Okay I'll see you again on Friday." Alex said as she waved goodbye to her new friend.

As the summer rolled on the two girls became closer friends. Alex had even encouraged Olivia to join a program she saw the Museum of Natural History was offering. Olivia was excited when Serena agreed, between the two days she spent at the library plus the one day at the museum it meant three afternoons a week she didn't have to be around her mother.

It was the middle of July and they were on a field trip to Central Park with the museum. They sat together, neither had really made any friends with the rest of the kids. Alex reached in her back pack and handed Olivia a card. "My birthday is Saturday. Will you come to my party?"

Olivia grinned, she didn't make friends easily because she was afraid they would ask about her home life so she didn't get invited to birthday parties too often. "Yeah! I'll have to ask my Mom but she's usually not home on Saturday's anyway so I know she'll say okay."

The following Saturday Olivia looked nervously up at the nice home she was standing in front of. She had never had a friend who lived in a house not an apartment. She also wasn't accustomed to the nice neighborhoods of the Upper East Side. Granted she and her mother lived in a descent neighborhood and had a nice apartment but it was nothing compared to the home she was standing in front of.

"How did you make a friend who lives in a house like this?" Serena asked.

Olivia may have only been eight but she knew a slight or an insult when she heard one. She looked down at the sidewalk "I don't know. She likes me and I like her. She's my best friend."

Olivia knocked on the door and was happy when Alex and her mother answered. Olivia had met the older Cabot on several occasions and liked the woman, she was always so nice to her. She watched carefully as her mother and Mrs. Cabot greeted one another. Olivia was terrified Mrs. Cabot would see that Serena drank and not want Alex to be around her anymore. Luckily Serena wasn't drunk, yet, but Olivia didn't fail to miss the look Mrs. Cabot gave her mother. She just prayed that she wouldn't hold her mother's problems against her.

Olivia would have to say that Alex's party was the best birthday party she had ever attended. Her parents had rented out a swimming pool and took them swimming, along with lunch that Alex's father cooked on the grill. After lunch Alex opened her gifts followed by cake and ice cream. Olivia was in awe at the amount of gifts Alex received. She also had never seen a party as big as this. She'd had birthday parties but they were very small and she only invited a few friends. She was pretty sure the only reason she got a party was because her grandmother threw it for her. If it was up to Serena Olivia was convinced she would never have had a party. She wasn't sure why her Mom was so weird about her birthday but she always chalked it up to one of the many strange things Serena did. As she got older though she couldn't shake the feeling from her mind that maybe her Mother didn't love her.

After the party and arriving back at the Cabot residence Olivia was surprised when the other kids slowly began to leave, especially the girls. "Um Alex, where's everyone going?"

"They're going home silly." Alex said as she drug Olivia upstairs.

"I thought this was a sleepover party?"

"It is. You're my best friend and I wanted you to sleep over. The other girls just aren't as fun as you are."

Olivia couldn't help but smile, Alex had chosen her over all her rich friends. Granted the other kids were nice and she did like a few of them, she just couldn't believe Alex would pick her as her best friend.

"You're my best friend too Alex." Olivia said as they collapsed on Alex's bedroom floor and began trying to choose which toy to play with first.

When summer came to an end Olivia found herself getting sad at the thought of not seeing Alex several times a week. They attended two different schools in two different areas of the city. It was their last day at the library and Alex noticed the sad look on her friends face "What's wrong?"

"We won't get to see each other anymore."

"Why not?"

"Because school's starting and we go to different schools." Olivia replied sadly.

Alex laughed and bumped her friend's shoulder "We can still be friends silly! You have a phone at your house don't you?" Olivia nodded "We have one at our house too. We talk on the phone now we can just call each other when we miss each other. And we can have sleepovers on the weekend."

"Really?" Olivia asked hopefully. She had been terrified she was going to lose the best friend she'd ever had.

"Yeah."

As they were about to leave Olivia was grateful that her mother had started back to school earlier than she had to. It meant that Serena wasn't drunk so she wasn't as embarrassed about Alex or Mrs. Cabot seeing her.

Olivia was gathering her bag when Mrs. Cabot walked over to her and Serena "Ms. Benson?" Serena looked up. "We always go to our home in the Hampton's for Labor Day weekend and Alex has asked if Olivia could come along with us. Is it okay with you if she goes." She looked down at the young brunette "That is if you want to come Olivia."

Olivia looked to her mother, silently pleading to say yes.

"Do you want to go?"

"Yes, please."

"Okay."

Mrs. Cabot nodded as the two girls jumped up and down almost squealing "Okay we'll leave Friday evening after school. I'll call you later in the week with all the details."

Olivia had been so worried about summer ending, it had been the best summer so far of her life. Now she was excited, she had a best friend and she was going to get to go to the Hampton's for a weekend. Part of her thought that her Mom only said yes so she could spend the weekend getting drunk but at that moment Olivia didn't care. She finally had a friend and life didn't seem so lonely anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I hadn't planned on updating today but the kind reviews encouraged me to. I'm so glad you like this. I have to say that I'm really enjoying writing it. Let me know your thoughts. I hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 2

"Are you sure you don't want to have Christmas dinner with us?" Eleven year old Alex almost pleaded with her best friend.

Olivia smiled "I'd love to but my Grandma is coming to our apartment for Christmas. We never have Christmas there it's always at Grandma's." Olivia was excited about Christmas this year. It seemed like Serena had been doing better lately and not drinking as much. Usually they had a tree but that was the extent of it. Her Grandmother lived a few blocks away and always had a tree and decorations with a big dinner for the three of them. Olivia loved the idea of Christmas dinner in the Cabot home but she would give anything to have a nice, normal Christmas in her own apartment.

"It's okay. Do you think your Mom would let you come over on Saturday so we can exchange gifts?"

"She's doing a lecture on Saturday but I know my Grandma will bring me."

"I'll see you Saturday then." Alex said as she hung up the phone. She was glad that Olivia was excited about Christmas. Alex loved Christmas and she always hated the idea of anyone spending the day alone. While she wanted her best friend spending the day with her, if Olivia was excited about spending the day with her Mom and Grandma then Alex was excited for her as well.

A couple days after Christmas Olivia was sitting alone in her apartment, bored. She wanted to go hang out with Alex or even go to her Grandma's but Serena was out and she wasn't allowed to leave when she was home alone. She decided on the next best thing and called Alex. She talked for a few minutes to Mrs. Cabot, Alex's mother was always so kind to her and she wished she knew what it felt like to have a mother like that all the time.

"Hey!" Alex said as she picked up.

"Hi." Olivia replied. "So how's your vacation going?"

"My cousin Eric is here visiting. Ugh he's such a jerk."

Olivia chuckled but at the same time was sad. She wished she knew how it felt to have relatives visit, even ones who were annoying. "Why's he a jerk?"

"He thinks he owns everything. I'm surprised my Mom even let me on the phone."

"Why's that?"

"Because we got in an argument and he called me a stupid girl so I knocked him down and punched him." She knew she shouldn't be fighting but at the same time she was a little proud of herself.

Olivia began laughing "You showed him, huh?"

They talked for a while but Alex had a question before hanging up "My Mom and Dad are throwing a big party on New Year's Eve. I was wondering if you would want to spend the night with me. I'll be the only kid so I'll end up spending the evening in my room. If you can't or want to spend it with your Mom or Grandma its okay."

Olivia knew what New Year's Eve meant. It meant Serena would be out most of the night and would spend most of the next day in the bathroom or in bed. Olivia had learned after nights like that it was best to steer clear of her mother. "I'd love to. I know my Mom won't be home."

Alex could hear the sadness in her friend's voice and it always made her chest hurt. She had often asked Olivia about her Mom and home but Olivia would never give her an answer. Alex had decided that she wouldn't ask anymore and when Olivia was ready to tell her she would.

Olivia gasped when she walked into the Cabot home, she had never seen a party like the party that was about to get underway. "Your home looks so nice Mrs. Cabot." Olivia said as she looked at all the decorations in awe.

The older woman chuckled "Olivia how many times do I have to tell you to call me Laura? Mrs. Cabot is my mother in law," she leaned down to whisper "And she's just not that nice." Olivia laughed. She placed a hand on both girls shoulder and looked at them "The pizza arrived a few minutes ago and it's in the kitchen. I also asked the caterer to set aside some desserts for you two as well." she looked to her daughter "I know Alex won't want to come down because she hates these things but if you want to come downstairs for any reason you are allowed to. Okay? If you need anything just let me know."

After getting settled they ran downstairs to get their snacks and headed back up. They were excited because Alex had received a tv for her bedroom for Christmas. It was small but it didn't matter to either girl. "So what are we gonna watch?" Alex asked as she took a bite of her pizza.

"I always like watching Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin Eve." Olivia said as she began eating.

Alex flipped through the channels "Ooh The Facts of Life is on! Can we watch that first?"

After they finished their pizza Alex wanted to go downstairs for dessert. Olivia wanted to see what was going on at the party and finally convinced Alex to sneak in. She watched the adults as they talked and mingled. Everyone dressed up and seeming to have a good time.

"See, it's so boring." Alex said after they had been introduced to a few of the Cabot's friends.

"It looks like fun to me." She was enjoying herself until a friend of Mrs. Cabot leaned in to tell her how pretty she was. The clinking of ice in her glass and the smell of vodka instantly made her think about her mother. She continued to smile but Alex can tell the difference.

Once back upstairs Alex turns to her friend. "Did Mrs. Howard do something to upset you?" Olivia shook her head no. "Okay, you just looked upset that's all."

Olivia sighed "Alex my Mom drinks a lot. She drinks vodka and I could smell it in her glass. It made me think of my Mom."

Alex slid closer "Is that why you don't like being at home?" Olivia nodded. "Well you're my best friend and you can stay here anytime you want."

Once Dick Clark's show came on both girls were instantly in good moods. They spent the evening dancing around the room to the performers on the screen. They sat down on the bed for a moment to rest as the clock neared midnight. "Did you know you're supposed to kiss someone at midnight on New Year's Eve?" Alex asked out of the blue.

Olivia gave her a funny look "No. Why?"

"I don't know. I just heard them talking about it on tv show. They said that if you kiss someone at midnight it means you'll be together all year long."

"Oh." Olivia waited a few minutes "Have you ever kissed anybody? I mean besides your Mom or Dad?"

Alex shook her head "No, I'm only eleven. Have you?"

Olivia laughed "No, I'm only eleven." She answered in the same tone Alex had used.

As the ball was about to drop they were sitting on the end of Alex's bed ready to countdown. Alex turned to face the brunette "We should kiss."

"What?"

Alex nodded "Yeah I mean if it's what we're supposed to do."

"Okay." The sat there silently for a moment "How do we do it?"

"Like they do in the movies, on the lips."

They counted down along with the rest of the city and could hear the noise from downstairs and the fireworks going off in the distance. "Ready?" Alex asked. Olivia nodded. They took a deep breath and pressed their lips together. When they pulled back they stared at each other.

"Was something supposed to happen?" Olivia asked.

Alex shrugged "I don't guess so. It just means that me and you will be together all year. We'll always be best friends."

They watched the rest of the program before finally climbing into bed at almost one. They lay there silently in the dark for a bit. "So we'll always be best friends now, right?" Olivia asked.

"Yep. We'll always be best friends."

Olivia smiled as she drifted off. No matter how bad things were with her Mom it made her happy to know that she would always have Alex.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: You guys are great, I'm so glad you like. Thank you for all the favorites, follows and reviews. In case you're wondering about their ages I am using Mariska & Stephanie's actual birthdays but made them both being born in 74 like Stephanie. I decided to go ahead and update again today because after almost two weeks of sick leave from work I am returning to work tomorrow so I may not be able to update as often. I do have several chapters written ahead they just need a little polishing. I promise I will keep up though because I am really enjoying writing this. This chapter isn't quite as happy/fluffy as the last two. Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 3

Olivia sat in a chair playing with the necklace hanging around her neck, it was the necklace her grandmother had given her three years ago on her tenth birthday. She stood and walked to the casket in front of her and took a deep breath to hold back her tears. She knew her grandmother wouldn't want her to cry. Olivia didn't know what she was going to do without her grandmother. Any time things had gotten difficult with Serena she always knew she could go to her grandmother and everything would be okay.

"Hi."

Olivia looked up when she recognized Alex's voice. "Hey Alex."

"I'm sorry about your Grandma." Alex said as she pulled Olivia in for a hug. Alex was twelve but had only been to a few wakes and funerals. They always gave her a creepy feeling but right now her best friend was far more important.

"Thank you." Olivia whispered as she wiped a few tears. She had been doing well until Mr. and Mrs. Cabot walked over and Laura wrapped her arms around her.

"I'm so sorry sweetheart."

Olivia broke down. She was receiving more love and comfort from her best friend's mom than she'd received from her own. "Thank you for coming." Olivia said as she pulled back and wiped her tears.

"If you need anything we're always here for you. Don't forget that." Laura said as she gently wiped Olivia's tears for her.

Olivia spent the rest of the wake sitting in a chair greeting friends of her Grandma's and her Mom. She was grateful when the Cabot's hung around allowing Alex to sit with her and keep her company. Since both girls were about to start spring break at the end of the week Laura offered Olivia to come and stay with them for a few days but Olivia declined. She felt she needed to be at home to be with her Mom. In all honesty she would rather be with her friend but she thought she should be there to keep an eye on her Mom.

Two days after the funeral Olivia was wishing she had gone to stay at Alex's. Her Mom had stayed in a drunken stupor ever since they returned home from the funeral. She'd helped Serena to bed both nights and just that morning had to actually place her fingers on her neck to check for a pulse. Olivia had looked it up in a book after finding Serena passed out in their living room floor one morning the summer before. She had shaken her Mother until Serena finally came to and shoved her to the floor. Olivia swore after that she would never wake her again, she learned how to check for a pulse and would allow her to wake on her own.

Olivia decided to head to Alex's for a while. When she rang the doorbell she was greeted by Mr. Cabot. "Good morning Olivia. Alex is in the kitchen." He said as he closed the door.

"Hey! What are you doing here?" Alex asked as she motioned Olivia to join her at the counter. She slid a plate of pancakes toward her encouraging her to eat.

"Just needed to get out for a while."

"Alex hurry up we'll be leaving shortly." Laura said as she entered the kitchen. "Well hello Olivia. How are you holding up?"

"Okay I guess." She turned to face Alex "So where are you going?"

"To visit my grandparents in Boston for a few days."

Olivia nodded "Oh." There just went her idea of hiding out for a day or so. She finished eating her pancakes "Thank you for breakfast Laura. Have fun in Boston." She stood and headed toward the door.

Olivia had just stepped onto the sidewalk when she heard her name being called. She turned to see Alex chasing after her.

"Hey Liv wait up!" Alex reached out and grabbed her by the arm "Why don't you come with us? We'll only be gone four days."

"I don't know Alex. I really should probably stay with my Mom."

"Oh come on Olivia, it'll be fun. You've had a rough few days and judging by how you looked when you got here you could use a few days away. Besides my cousins are sooo boring. If you're there I won't have to put up with them." she could tell she was beginning to convince her. "Come on Liv. Please?" Alex made her puppy dog face that always made the brunette laugh.

"Oh all right." She said laughingly. She looped her arm through Alex's as they headed back to Alex's house. "I feel sorry for whoever you marry. All you'll have to do is make that face and they'll give you whatever you want."

Alex laughed "I'll have to remember that."

Alex's father drove them to Olivia's apartment for her to pack a bag. She wasn't surprised to find Serena nursing yet another bottle of vodka. Olivia had wanted Alex to wait downstairs but the blonde insisted on coming up with her. Olivia just hoped that her mother wouldn't embarrass too badly.

"Just where do you think you're going?" Serena asked when she saw Olivia standing there with a duffle bag.

"Alex and her parents are going to Boston for a few days and they invited me along." Olivia silently pleaded with her mother to say yes.

"What, am I not good enough company?" Serena slurred out.

"No Mom you're fine I'd just really like to go with Alex. I'm going crazy sitting around here thinking about Grandma all day."

"Fine. Don't get into any trouble."

Olivia grabbed Alex's hand and dragged her from the apartment. "I'm sorry about that."

"Don't worry about it."

Olivia had loved the trip to Boston, she had never been out of the city except when she had been to the Hampton's with Alex. When she arrived she was nervous again but Alex put her fears to rest. The Harriman's were very nice people and were so happy to meet the best friend that Alex always went on about. Olivia did see why Alex didn't want to be around her cousins, they were boring and some of them were a little snotty. They spent a day sightseeing and went to the park for a picnic one afternoon. The day before they were to leave they were sitting on the patio of the Harriman's home.

"So how did you and Alex become friends?" Alex's cousin Elise asked.

"We meet at the library during a summer program." Olivia replied.

"You don't go to the same school though. How do you stay friends?"

Alex rolled her eyes "That's a dumb question. We stay friends because we like each other. You're friends with people that you don't see all the time. So what's the difference?"

"Well yeah but I see them at the country club or at charity events." She looked Olivia over "How many times have you been to a country club or a charity event?"

Olivia looked down "I haven't."

"Yes you have. You went to the country club in the Hamptons with us. Remember?"

"Well that doesn't count." Elise said with a smirk.

"Shut up!" Alex said. She could see Olivia was upset and she wasn't about to let her cousin upset her any more than she already was. She walked over and leaned in to whisper in Elise's ear "Her Grandma just died the other day. Can't you be nice one day in your life?"

"I just don't get it Alex."

Olivia looked away afraid to see any hint in Alex's eyes of her agreeing with her cousin.

"What don't you get? Does the fact that we like each other as people and it doesn't matter what we have or don't have bother you or is it something else?"

Olivia knew Alex was getting heated so she walked over and took her arm "Alex don't. It's not worth it."

"Yeah Alex it's not worth it." she smirked in Olivia's direction.

"She's my best friend and she's more than worth it, but you're not." Alex said as she pushed Elise's rocking chair backwards causing her to fall as she walked away.

Olivia followed the blonde back to the room they were sharing. She had seen Alex get mad but never in all the time had they been friends had she seen Alex get that upset. "I can't believe you did that!"

"What?" Alex asked with a grin.

"You knocked her over. And it was all because of me."

"Okay it wasn't because of you, it was her fault. I've been waiting years to get her I just never had a reason."

"Great, so when she rats you out you can say you did it for me. Awesome. I come to visit your Grandparents with you and you end up in a fight over me." Olivia slumped on the bed. Maybe Serena was right, maybe everything was her fault.

Alex could see the faraway look in her friend's eyes. She often wondered what Serena says to Olivia to make her doubt herself. She walked over and sat down next to Olivia "You are my friend and you don't deserve to be talked to that way." she leaned down and tilted her head up so they were looking eye to eye causing Olivia to grin "If it was a friend or relative of yours talking bad about me what would you do?"

"I'd be in their face in a second."

"Exactly. I didn't do anything that you wouldn't do for me." she squeezed Olivia's hand "We're best friends Olivia and nothing will change that. You look out for me and I'll look out for you."

Two days later Olivia stood in front of her building. Aside from her run in with Elise she'd had more fun than she'd had in a while. While she still missed her Grandma terribly Alex had gone out of her way to make her feel better. She waved again as she watched Laura and Alex drive down the street. She sighed before walking in and heading up to their apartment. As she walked in she took a cautious look around, it was quiet, and if she was lucky Serena was out. Olivia took her bag to her room and was about to unpack when she caught movement from the corner of her eye.

Serena leaned against the doorframe holding a glass "So, have fun on your little trip?" she slurred.

"Yes." Olivia kept her eyes down, when her Mom was like this it was best to not provoke her.

"Well." Serena said as she stumbled toward her child "While you were living it up in Boston I was here mourning my Mother's death all alone."

Olivia turned with an angered look "I miss Grandma too! I love her so much and she loved me. She was always so good to me!" she knew as soon as the words left her mouth she should've stayed quiet.

"What, I'm not good to you?" she leaned in till Olivia had to pull back from the smell of the alcohol, she swore right then she would never drink vodka. "I put a roof over your head, clothes on your back and food on the table. I'm good to you. You're just too ungrateful to acknowledge it." she turned to leave the room "I'm the only person in the world who cares about you, and you'll do good to remember that."

Olivia sat down on the bed and shook her head. She wondered if she would ever matter to someone again now that her Grandma was gone. She unzipped her duffle bag and found a picture laying on top of her and Alex that had been taken at a festival they had gone to. She smiled at the sight of them sitting shoulder to shoulder and smiling at the camera. She flipped it over and began to cry when she saw the note Alex had written on the back.

_You look out for me and I'll look out for you. Me & you forever. Boston, Spring '87_

She wiped a stray tear, she knew she and Alex would always be together and as long as she had Alex she would be okay.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I love reading your thoughts, they make me smile. I know the last chapter was a little sad, just like life is sometimes. I hope you bear with me. Let me know what you think. I hope you like!**

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Chapter 4

She ran down the sidewalk as fast as she could. Her feet pounded the pavement as the tears continued to stream down her cheeks. Her lungs were burning from running, from the cold winter evening air and from all the crying she'd been doing for the last few hours. Olivia was vaguely aware of a few people trying to ask if she was okay but she didn't stop until she reached the subway platform and jumped on a train. After sitting down Olivia found herself gasping for air, she'd lost count of how many blocks she'd ran. She was in pain; physical, emotional pain and there was only one thing she needed right now. She needed her best friend, she needed Alex.

Once she made her stop Olivia made her way up to the street. The ride had allowed her body to cool slightly from her run and only then did she realize how cold the night air really was. She pulled her hoodie tighter around her. She kicked herself for not grabbing a winter jacket instead of her sweater but the need to get out of the apartment was so great she grabbed the first thing she saw and ran. As she walked up the steps to the Cabot's townhome she wiped her eyes again hoping it wouldn't give away all the crying she'd been doing. There was a lone light on in the living room and Olivia prayed the blonde was home as she reached out to ring the bell.

Alex sighed as she hung the phone up. She'd been trying to call Olivia for the last half hour but no one was answering. They had spoken the day before but Alex couldn't get her best friend off her mind this evening. Her parents were out at some event and she was home alone. Alex startled slightly when she heard the doorbell. She grinned when she could see Olivia on the other side. "Hey, great minds think alike huh?" her face fell when she saw the look on the other girl's face. Her eyes were red and swollen, that alone was evidence she'd been crying never mind the tears stains on her face.

Alex reached out and wrapped her arm around her shoulder "Come on in you're going to freeze out there."

Instead of stopping in the living room Alex pulled her straight through to the kitchen. She kept looking back at her friend trying to figure out what was wrong but couldn't. Usually when they were together they talked nonstop. Granted there were times they were around each other and were quiet but it was a very rare occasion. Alex pushed Olivia down onto one of the bar stools at the counter before pulling the ingredients for hot chocolate from the cabinet. Once it was heating up she stood on front of Olivia and leaned across the counter and took one of her hands "So you gonna tell me what's goin on?"

Olivia looked down at the counter "I don't want to talk about it."

Alex nodded "Okay." They'd been friends long enough for her to know that she couldn't push, Olivia would open up in her own time. She poured two mugs of hot chocolate and turned and nodded toward the living room. She would allow Olivia time to process before she pushed again. She knew something bad had happened and Olivia's demeanor had Serena written all over it. Alex often thought about telling the older woman exactly what she thought of her but didn't because she knew the fallout would land solely on Olivia and she wasn't about to cause that.

They settled on the sofa and Alex wrapped a blanket around her. Olivia sat silently sipping her hot chocolate allowing her body to slowly warm up. She watched as Alex stood and popped a movie in the VCR. Part of her knew she needed to tell her what had happened but at the same time she was grateful Alex wasn't pushing. Olivia couldn't help the grin that spread across her face when Alex collapsed back next to her wearing a matching grin. "What?"

"Guess what movie I bought after school today?"

"I have no idea."

"Dirty Dancing!" Alex practically squealed.

As upset as she was Olivia couldn't help the excitement she felt at knowing her best friend now owned their favorite movie. When it came out the year before they had spent every Saturday afternoon for a month at the theatre watching it. Never mind they both had a bit of a crush on Patrick Swayze. Before long Olivia and Alex were dancing around the living room singing along with the songs, Olivia had forgotten all about what had driven her there.

When the movie ended they were sprawled out in the floor; an empty bowl of popcorn and two soda cans surrounded them. They had just finished scraping the last of the ice cream from the container when Alex noticed tears in Olivia's eyes. She dropped her spoon back into the container along with Olivia's and set it aside before climbing onto the couch and pulling Olivia up with her. "I really am worried about you."

Olivia nodded and sucked in a breath to hold the tears back. Her grandmother was the only person who had ever cared for her as much as Alex did.

"Liv please talk to me."

Olivia couldn't fight it any longer and finally broke down into tears. "It's my Mom." Alex sighed and wrapped her arm around the brunette. "We had a fight."

"What happened?"

Olivia sighed before telling Alex how her evening had gone.

_Olivia walked into the apartment and dropped her backpack on the sofa. She went to the kitchen for a snack and returned to the living room to start on her homework. With any luck she could finish it this evening and spend Saturday with Alex. She was just finishing her math assignment when she heard Serena come in. Before even looking up Olivia knew she was drunk. The way the door slammed against the wall and her feet shuffled as she entered the room was a dead giveaway. Olivia kept her head down. When Serena was like this it was like dealing with a wild animal, don't look at them and no sudden moves._

_Serena collapsed into a chair and looked around the room before stopping on her child "You just come in and scatter your stuff out everywhere don't you?"_

"_I'm just doing my homework."_

"_Your shoes are in the middle of the floor, books and papers everywhere. I taught you better than this, but of course I should know better than to expect anything from you." she slurred._

_Olivia squeezed her eyes closed to prevent the tears from falling. Crying just seemed to add fuel to the fire so she only cried when she was alone. Tonight though for some reason Olivia could feel the fight welling up inside of her. "What have you ever taught me?"_

_Serena's eyes blazed when her daughter challenged her "I taught you to walk and talk. I taught you how to read and tie your shoes. I taught you what you need to know to stay alive in this world. You are just an ungrateful little person who refuses to acknowledge it."_

"_Maybe I'd be a little more grateful if you acted like a Mom and not just the person I happen to live with. You want to talk about ungrateful how about you look in the mirror!" Olivia's brain was screaming at her to shut up but now that she'd gotten started she just couldn't stop. "I'm fourteen years old Mom! I've spent years taking care of myself. I've had to help drag you to bed and I can't even count how many times I've had to check for a pulse just to see if you're alive in the mornings. No kid should ever have to go through that!" Olivia jumped to her feet when Serena stood, she knew she needed to be ready to run at a moment's notice._

_Serena stepped closer "You know what no one should have to go through? No one should have to go through what I've went through!"_

"_And just what have you went through?" Olivia asked in the sarcastic tone that teens are known for._

"_You know how you've asked about your Father? Well how about I tell you?"_

_Olivia froze at the mention of her father. She'd asked occasionally throughout the years but Serena had always avoided the question. She even asked her Grandma one time but all she would say was that he had left before Olivia was born. Olivia backed up a little when Serena took a step toward her._

"_I have no idea who your Father is, and no it's not because I'm whore and slept with just anyone. All I know about your Father is he's the man who raped me."_

_Olivia gasped, she may only be fourteen but she knew what rape was. "What?"_

"_Shut up. You wanted answers." Serena walked to the kitchen to get a drink. It was visible from the living room, she never broke eye contact. "I was in college and I was walking home one night when I was hit from behind. When I came to I was on the ground and he was on top of me, inside of me." Olivia began crying harder knowing her mother was raped. She walked back into the room, her glass shaking in her hand as she did so. "Nine months later here you were." She turned the glass up and took a drink. "Well you always wanted to know who your Father was. Now you know, he was a rapist."_

_Olivia felt as if she was going to be sick. Her heart was breaking for Serena but at the same time her stomach was churning at the thought of having a rapist's blood in her veins. "I'm so sorry it happened to you."_

"_Me too. I'm also sorry I got pregnant." Serena collapsed back into her chair._

_And there it was. She had always wondered if her Mom loved her and Serena had just confirmed it. Olivia allowed all her hurt and anger to come bursting to the surface "Then why did you have me?" she shouted. "Why didn't you have an abortion or give me up for adoption? Why did you keep me?" _

_Serena cocked her head to the side as if she was considering her answer "Well let's see. I was a college student who was barely getting by, I couldn't afford an abortion and my good Catholic mother refused to help pay for it. After you were born I wasn't giving you away; you were mine, I wasn't letting anyone else have you." she shouted._

_Olivia grabbed her things and took them to her room planning to stay there the rest of the evening but her hurt got the best of her. She stormed back into the room "Mom I'm really sorry you were raped but it wasn't my fault! So stop taking it out on me!"_

"_You realize the only reason you exist is because of an act of violence right? You need to start being a little more grateful to me because no one will ever want you. I mean who's going to want a person whose father is a rapist? You belong to me Olivia, you're mine. Don't forget it!"_

_Olivia couldn't take it any longer. She grabbed her jacket and ran out the door._

Alex couldn't believe what she'd just heard. She could feel the tears running down her cheeks and wiped them with one hand while her other dried Olivia's. "Olivia I'm so sorry."

Olivia gasped for air as she tried to stop crying. She was afraid to look at Alex, she was terrified of seeing disgust or pity in her eyes. When she finally looked up all she could see was concern and love reflecting back. "Thank you for being here for me." she said as she stood from her spot. She started to pull her hoodie on when she felt Alex's hand on her arm.

"Where are you going?"

"Alex I'm sure you don't want to be friends with someone who could turn into a violent person down the road. I also doubt your parents would be thrilled if they knew either."

Alex pulled Olivia in for a hug "Olivia I don't care about all that you are still my best friend. I also know that my parents wouldn't care either." She pulled them back down onto the sofa and wrapped the blanket around them. "You're staying here tonight, got it?"

Olivia nodded and smiled through her tears "Thank you."

John Cabot stood in the middle of his living room "I could've swore when we left we only had one child."

Laura walked over and chuckled at the sight of their daughter and her best friend sound asleep on the sofa. It was nothing unusual to come home from being out and see that Olivia was there but this time she had an odd feeling about why she was there. Olivia appeared to be holding on to Alex for dear life. Laura was almost certain that it had something to do with the young girl's mother.

She walked over and gently shook the two girls "Hey, I'm sure you two would be far more comfortable upstairs in bed."

Alex slowly sat up but careful to keep her arm around Olivia "What time is it?"

"It's almost twelve thirty." She could see that Alex's eyes were red. She nodded toward Olivia who was just beginning to wake up "Is she okay?" she whispered.

Alex shook her head no but seeing the look of worry that crossed her mother's face she clarified. "Physically yes but she's had a really bad night. I told her to stay here."

Olivia was about to speak but Laura cut her off "You are staying her tonight and if you need to, tomorrow night also."

"Thank you."

"Now come on off to bed."

The next morning as the sun slowly peaked its way through the curtains Olivia hoped that the previous night had been just a really bad nightmare. When she opened her eyes and saw that she was laying in Alex's bed she knew it wasn't.

"Are you okay?" Alex asked sleepily as she rolled over.

"My Mom is an alcoholic who doesn't love me and my Father was her rapist. Yeah I'm great."

Alex winced at the sarcasm, but at the same time she knew if the situation was reversed she wouldn't be okay. "Sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

Olivia sighed and rolled over "No, I'm sorry Alex. I didn't mean to say it that way. You were here for me. I've got the most awesome best friend in the world."

They were interrupted by a knock at the door "I made breakfast, blueberry pancakes." She laughed as if it seemed both girls came to life and followed her down the stairs.

When breakfast ended Olivia asked if she could take a shower. She just wanted to wash the past twenty four hours down the drain.

Once Olivia was upstairs Laura turned to her daughter "Do you want to tell me what happened last night?"

"I can't Mom. I don't think Olivia would want me to tell." Alex kept her eyes down.

Laura slid a stool next to Alex and turned her head so they were looking eye to eye "Alex I understand you want to protect her but I'm a Mother. I may not be her Mother but I am a Mother and I'm worried about her."

Alex began to cry "Her Mom said some really mean things to her, I mean harsh. We're only fourteen Mom! No kid should have to go through what she went through. She's really tore up inside Mom and I don't know what to do."

Laura wrapped the girl in her arms "Right now you're doing the best thing you can do, you are being her friend and supporting her."

Olivia walked into the room and saw the two crying. She stood there awkwardly for a moment until Laura turned to face her. The sympathetic look she was receiving was enough to kill her. She looked to Alex "You told her?!"

Alex quickly shook her head no but her Mother answered for her "No Olivia she didn't tell me anything. Alex would never betray your trust like that. All she told me was that your Mom said some really mean things to you." she walked closer and gently placed a hand on Olivia's shoulder "I want you to know that I'm here for you also. If you want to talk about it I'm more than willing to listen."

And just when Olivia thought she couldn't cry anymore she collapsed into the older woman's arms and dissolved into tears all over again. Laura guided them back upstairs to Alex's room. She and Alex took a seat on the bed with Olivia between them. Laura's heart broke as she listened to Olivia relive the previous evening. There was a part of her that was ready to drive to the Benson apartment and knock some sense into Serena but she knew it wouldn't help the situation. When Olivia finished speaking the only sound in the room was from the sniffling all three were doing. Laura wiped 'her girls' tears. She placed a hand on Olivia's cheek "I know I've told you before but I want you to understand you are always welcome here. Anytime things get to rough at home you can come to us."

Olivia squeezed Alex's hand as she leaned her head on Laura's shoulder "I know I can. Thank you."

Laura kissed the top of her head "You are family Olivia. Never forget that."

Olivia turned her head to look at Alex and saw her smiling back at her. She wasn't sure what it was but something deep inside told her that Alex would always be her family.


	5. Chapter 5

**Wow! Thank you so much for the reviews of the last chapter. Also thank you to those who have followed and favorite as well. I know it was a difficult chapter but at the same time like Bkwrmchar said, Olivia's past has made her into the person she is. Since the last two chapters have been a little heavy and sad I decided they needed some good times. Unless something changes the next chapter things will get a little interesting. Please let me know what you think, I love reading your reviews. I hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 5

Olivia suddenly jolted awake from a peaceful slumber. She laid there for a moment trying to figure out what had woken her. Just as she was settling back down into her bed there it was again, a loud pounding on the apartment door. She looked at the clock and noticed it was a little after nine am. She slowly stood and began walking toward the door, all the while trying to figure out who was at the door this early in the morning. Her mom was out of town at a conference, she wondered if Serena had decided to come home early. In all honesty she wouldn't care if she came home early. Serena had been drinking less lately and they had been getting along pretty well.

Olivia walked up to the door and peaked to see who was on the other side. She was surprised to see Alex. She opened the door and pulled Alex inside. "Alex, what the hell are you doing trying to beat my door down? Its summer vacation we're supposed to sleep in."

Alex was too excited to care that her best friend was a little grumpy at being woken up "Trust me Liv there is no way I could sleep. You won't want to sleep either after I tell what I need to tell you."

"What?"

Alex hands Olivia a small piece of paper. Olivia takes a moment to stare at what's in her hand. She looks up at Alex then back to the paper in her hand. Olivia opens and closes her mouth a few times trying to form words but is still unable. Alex begins laughing "It's what you think it is."

"Alex this is…I mean there's no way…" After stumbling for a few seconds a giant grin spreads across her face "Oh my God Alex, these are Springsteen tickets!"

Alex nods while laughing "Front row Springsteen tickets at that!"

"Alex this is for tonight's concert, it's been sold out for weeks!"

Alex nodded again "I know."

"Then how did you get tickets?"

"There was a contest on the radio this morning. I won! Of course I'm gonna take my best friend."

Olivia threw her arms around Alex for a hug. "This is so awesome! I've always wanted to see him in concert." She pulled back and began reading the ticket once again. She looked up when she saw Alex handing something else to her.

"Did I mention I also won two backstage passes?"

In no time both teens were holding hands and jumping up and down at their excitement. After a few minutes they slowly began to calm down. Olivia was so excited but at the same time she knew she had to contact Serena to make sure it would be okay for her to go out. Olivia dialed her mom's hotel and held her breath as she asked her permission to go. She couldn't wipe the smile off her face when Serena said it was okay. "She said yes!"

The day was spent putting together outfits consisting of their best ripped jeans and t-shirts tied at their waists. As they walked into Madison Square Garden they held each other's hand in an attempt to stop the shaking from their excitement.

"Oh my God Alex this is the most awesome thing I've ever done in my life!"

"Me too, and I can't think of anyone else I'd rather share it with than you."

They danced along with the rest of the concert goers, singing along to every song since they knew all the words. As the band began playing Dancing in the Dark Olivia leaned in close to Alex "Wouldn't it be great if he pulled one of us on stage?" As she pulled back she noticed the wide eyed look on Alex's face. Olivia turned in time to see him reaching his hand out to pull her on stage. Olivia couldn't stop shaking when she realized she was now dancing with one of her favorite artists.

Alex was stunned that Olivia was pulled on stage but she nearly fell over when he reached down and pulled her on stage as well. She and Olivia danced along with 'The Boss', committing every moment to memory. When the concert ended they were escorted backstage by someone from security. Even though it only lasted a few minutes they had enough time to meet the singer plus get a few pictures.

John Cabot was waiting for his daughter and her friend. He began laughing when they got closer as he could see the excitement written all over their faces. "I take it you ladies had a good time." His head began spinning however as both teens began talking as fast as they could and at the same time.

John stopped off to pick up a pizza he had ordered for the two while the girls ran into the market to grab sodas and junk food. Alex rarely spent the night at the Benson apartment but since Serena was out of town they had begged for Alex to spend the night there.

After eating, and receiving a goodnight phone call from Laura both girls snuck up to the roof of the building. For Olivia it was a place she would often go to avoid her mom when she was drinking so it didn't have many good memories associated with it. Having Alex there with her was allowing her to make good memories there and she hoped she would be able to draw on them during the rough times.

It was a little after one in the morning and the city was slowly going to sleep. They watched as some of the lights began to go out, but this was Manhattan and even in the extremely early morning hours the city still seemed vibrant and lively. "This is so great." Alex said while sipping her drink.

Olivia nodded "I love the view from up here but at the same time it's a little sad because usually when I'm up here it's because Mom and I am fighting."

Alex turned so she could see the brunette better "You said she's been doing better, right?"

"Yeah things have been pretty good lately. She's not been drinking as much which is awesome. Usually in the summer she drinks more because she doesn't have to worry about going to school. She actually told me she was going to try harder."

"That's great Olivia!" Alex said with a smile. She had a feeling her friend would never have a relationship with her mom like she had with hers but at the same time any improvement would make Olivia's life a little better.

Olivia smiled sadly "It is but there's a part of me that knows it's only temporary. She's done this before, she'll say she's going to get better and she does for a while and then something sends her flying downhill again." She sat there quietly for a minute before looking back up with a brighter smile "But I'm going to enjoy it as long as it lasts."

They made small talk for a while longer, both knowing their parents would have a fit if they knew they were sitting on a rooftop all alone in the middle of the night but at that moment neither cared. The night air was warm, especially for June. Olivia closed her eyes briefly as she soaked everything in. If she had her way Olivia would never leave this moment. She was sharing a peaceful summer night with her best friend. "I wish we could stay here forever."

Alex sighed "Me too, this is perfect."

"Tell me we'll always be like this Alex." even in the dark she could see Alex turn to look at her with a puzzled look "I mean in ten, twenty years I want to know that we'll still be friends. No matter how busy or crazy our lives are I want to know we'll be able to just take some time and to just relax together."

"Of course we will Olivia. I've told you before we will always be best friends. I don't care what direction our lives take I will always make time for you and I know you will make time for me." Olivia nodded in agreement. "Right now though we're just kid's, we're only sixteen." Olivia raised an eyebrow and laughed "Okay you're sixteen, I'm only fifteen but remember my birthday is next month." They grew quiet for a minute "Before we begin worrying about the future let's just enjoy this summer."

Olivia laughed as she settled back in her chair "I can't wait to see what it holds." It was only the beginning of summer but it was already the best summer to date, aside from the one when she met Alex. Olivia couldn't explain it but something deep inside was telling her that this summer was going to be special, a summer to remember. Yes she was certain, this was going to be the best summer of her life.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I really had no intention of updating today but since you guys are so awesome I didn't want to leave you hanging for long. I didn't think the last chapter was my best but obviously you liked it base on your reviews. I hope you like the direction this story is taking. Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 6

Alex stood in front of the mirror in her bathroom, it was Saturday afternoon and she and Olivia were heading to the movies. Friday night had been her sweet sixteen party but to her the best part of the weekend was that she was spending it with her best friend.

"Did you get lost in there?" Olivia called out from Alex's bedroom.

"I'm comin, I'm comin." Alex called out. When she walked back into her room she felt her breath catch at the sight of Olivia laying on her bed. It was something she had seen many times over the years. Olivia spent the night with her all the time and she had even spent the night at Olivia's a few times. Now something was different. In the past year Alex had caught herself having strange feelings about her best friend. Now when she saw the brunette or heard her voice she got butterflies in her stomach. To say she was confused was an understatement. She liked boys, thought they were cute but at the same time she was sixteen and had yet to go on a date with one. When she noticed Olivia giving her a confused look she shook the thoughts from her mind. "Let's roll."

Olivia loved going to the movies in Alex's neighborhood. Upper East Side theatres were so much nicer than the ones in her neighborhood. "Which one we gonna see?" Olivia asked while looking at the movie posters.

"Ghost!" Alex had barely allowed Olivia to get the question out before responding.

"Still got a crush on Swayze huh?" Olivia asked as she paid for their tickets.

"Maybe a little, but I seem to remember you having a crush on him too." Alex shook her head as Olivia paid "Liv I wish you would let me pay for mine."

"Alex I told you it was my treat. Since Mrs. Leary had her surgery she's needed more help around the house which means extra money for me." Olivia helped out one of her neighbors with her chores and did the grocery shopping for her.

"Okay fine but I'm buying our snacks."

Olivia stood looking at the posters of upcoming movies. Her mind however was turning, the thoughts that had been running through it lately scared her. She turned back toward the counter to see Alex ordering their snacks. She ran her clammy hands over her jeans to dry them. She didn't know what was happening but in all honesty she had a crush on her best friend. It was something she would never bring up because there was no way Alex felt that way. They were best friends but Alex would never fall for someone like her. Plus Alex liked boys, granted neither of them had been on a date before but they both liked boys. They often talked about boys they thought were cute or celebrities they had a crush on.

Olivia was brought back to reality when she noticed a boy standing a little too close to Alex for her liking. She walked over and smiled as Alex rolled her eyes but gave her an appreciative smile "One large popcorn to share, two Cokes and a box of Nerds." Alex said as she handed Olivia her drink.

"You're really here with someone?" asked the boy who'd been talking to Alex.

"Duh. I told you my best friend was with me." she couldn't help but be grateful when Olivia stepped a little closer. She nudged Olivia and they headed toward the theater.

"So who was that?" Olivia asked as they got settled.

"That was Mike." Alex huffed.

"The same Mike who has made it his mission to get you to go on a date?" Olivia would always be protective over the blonde but she couldn't quite explain the feeling in the pit of her stomach. It almost felt like jealousy. Surely she wasn't jealous some guy wanted to date her best friend.

"The one and only. He's really not that bright though. He keeps asking and I keep telling him no. Maybe eventually he'll take a hint." She placed the popcorn between them and settled back as the lights dimmed. "Now it's my weekend and I would much rather enjoy it with you than talk about the jerks I go to school with."

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The next afternoon they were hanging out in the park near Olivia's apartment. Serena was away on a conference so Alex had spent the night. While they carried on like they always did, deep inside they were both wondering what was going on. Once at the movies the night before when they both reached in for popcorn their fingers brushed. It had happened a thousand times before but this time was different and the feeling they both got scared them.

Alex was sitting on a picnic table watching Olivia play volleyball with a few friends. She loved hanging out with Olivia in her neighborhood. Some of the kids acted like she was slumming it by hanging around them but for the most part they were nice and Alex liked some of them. She smiled and handed Olivia her drink. "Hey, leave some for me." she chuckled as Olivia began gulping it down.

"Hey Olivia."

They both looked up at the boy standing in front of them. "Hey Danny."

"So I was wondering if you had plans this evening."

"Actually I do." Olivia said looking to Alex.

"Oh okay, well that's cool." The silence between the three was awkward. "Well I'll see you around."

"Who was that?" Alex asked. It was all she could do to keep her tone neutral.

"Danny Jacobs, we have a couple classes together. He's really nice but he has a bit of a crush on me." Alex raised her eyebrows "One that I don't return." After a few more minutes of silence Olivia looked at her watch. "Come on. If we hurry we can get home and back out before my Mom gets back."

Olivia rushed around packing her overnight bag to stay at Alex's. She always did her best to limit the blonde's exposure to her mother. Olivia wrote a quick note and taped it where she knew Serena would find it, the vodka bottle in the cabinet.

"So where again is your Mom and Dad?" Olivia asked later that evening as she opened the pizza they'd just ordered.

"Connecticut." Alex said while she got everything else ready for their evening. Whenever her parents were out of town she would ask Olivia to stay the night and they would order in pizza and have a movie marathon. "They are visiting one of my Mom's best friends, won't be back till tomorrow afternoon or evening."

"Do you think that'll be us when we're her age?" Alex gave her a confused look. "I mean still best friends."

Alex grinned "Of course we will Olivia."

By the time the second movie began the pizza was gone and both girls were sprawled out on the sofa. Olivia had her feet propped on the coffee table and her head laid back. Alex was laying back against the arm of the sofa with her legs resting across Olivia's while Olivia's fingers drew patterns just above her ankle. She lay there for a moment and thought about their positions, they had been in this position thousands of times through the years but this time felt different. Alex briefly wondered how it would feel to have Olivia run her hands further up her legs. She instantly felt the blush that crossed her face and willed the images from her mind. She had done a lot of thinking about the feelings she had been having for the brunette while watching her play volleyball earlier in the day. Even though Olivia declined Danny when he basically asked her out Alex knew there may come a day Olivia would say yes and her chance would be gone. She didn't know how Olivia would feel but Alex couldn't deny the fact that she was falling for her best friend any longer. Regardless of what Olivia said or how she felt their friendship was far more important. Even if Olivia didn't return the feelings Alex knew she would preserve their friendship over all else. She'd rather have Olivia as her best friend than not in her life at all. Alex gathered her nerve and sat up, ready to have the most important conversation of her life.

Olivia was lost in her thoughts of the blonde lying next to her so she was startled when she felt Alex move. She looked quizzically at her when Alex grabbed the remote and paused the video. "Something wrong?"

Alex shook her head no. She sat up and sat cross legged facing the brunette. She waited while Olivia turned and did the same. Alex was suddenly aware of how beautiful Olivia really was. She'd always thought she was pretty and had told her so on many occasions but now it was different. She took a moment to gather her nerve before speaking "Can we talk?"

"Sure, what's up?"

"Have you ever liked somebody? I mean like you like them but you're afraid of telling them because you like them but you know they wouldn't like you the same way you like them?"

"You mean like a crush?"

"Yeah but not on like a celebrity or something. I mean on like a real person, someone you know."

"Oh my God you have a crush on somebody!" Olivia grinned and tried to keep the mood light but her heart was breaking slightly. This was it, Alex was going to start dating someone and would forget all about her. Olivia sucked it up for the moment, Alex's happiness was far more important.

"Yeah but I'm afraid to tell them."

"Why?"

"What if they don't like me? What if I tell them I like them and they don't like me the same way?"

"Alex they'd be crazy to not like you." Olivia failed to notice Alex wasn't being gender specific. She slid a little closer "So who is it?"

Alex took a deep breath, might as well jump in head first. Here goes. "It's you."

Olivia's eyes almost popped out of her head "What?"

Alex dropped her head into her hands, Olivia didn't like her the same way. Alex shook her head she'd already opened her mouth might as well explain herself and hopefully salvage their friendship. "I'm sorry to just spring it on you like this but I just couldn't keep it in anymore. Then when I saw that guy ask you out it made me jealous. I've been having these feelings for a while and I needed to tell you." she gasped for air in an attempt to keep from crying "I know there's no way you could feel the same way and I understand but I needed to tell you." she looked into Olivia's eyes and was unable to tell what she was thinking. They'd always been able to tell what the other was thinking but in this moment she had no clue. "Olivia I just don't want to lose you as a friend. You are the best friend I've ever had and I don't want to lose you."

Olivia sat there in stunned silence for a moment, Alex liked her and not just as a friend. This is what she had been hoping for but now she couldn't find the words to tell Alex she felt the same way.

Alex took Olivia's silence as her conformation that Olivia didn't share her feelings. She quickly reached for the remote when Olivia grabbed her hand. She looked up into Olivia's smiling face.

"I like you too Alex." She grinned at Alex's stunned expression. "I mean I **like** you. I like you the same way you like me."

"You do?"

"Yeah. I've been wanting to tell you but I was terrified to because like you I was afraid that you wouldn't feel the same way."

They sat there quietly for a few minutes "So what does this mean?"

"Well I know what I want it to mean but what do you think it means?"

Alex sighed but grinned slightly "Well I was hoping it would mean that you would be my girlfriend and I would be yours."

Olivia cocked her head sideways and grinned "My girlfriend huh?" Alex nodded. "I like the sound of that."

They were about to settle back to watch the movie when Alex spoke up "One thing though. We have to promise that if it's not going to work out then we tell each other. I don't want to lose you as my best friend."

"Promise, I don't want to lose you either."

Alex started the movie again as they settled back. They were sitting side by side with their feet propped on the table in front of them. Both were relieved that their feelings were mutual. Alex was just relaxing when she felt Olivia take her hand and lace their fingers together. She looked over and noticed the smile on Olivia's face. Alex smiled back and squeezed her hand. She couldn't wait to see where this was going to go.


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm so glad you guys like the direction this story is taking. I am really enjoying writing this story and always have knew ideas for it coming to me. I decided to update tonight in honor of Mariska's directing debut. As expected she did an amazing job. Let me know what you think. Enjoy!**

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Chapter 7

Spending Labor Day in the Hamptons with The Cabot's had become a tradition for Olivia. It was always one of her favorite times of the year. She and Alex had been secretly dating for just over a month. They had decided to not tell their parents for a couple reasons; one they were afraid of what they'd say and two they wanted to see how it was going to go, neither wanted to ruin their friendship.

It was late in the evening and they were still at the beach. Alex's parent's home wasn't too far from the beach so the girls took full advantage of it. They were walking hand in hand in the surf and Alex didn't think life could get more perfect. She had the best girlfriend in the world. Granted they'd kept their relationship a secret so far but it didn't prevent them from being together. No one was the wiser when it came to their dating. They'd been inseparable since they were eight. To everyone else it looked like business as usual. They called each other a little more. They would write each other little notes and give them to one another when they got to see each other.

The only part of their relationship Alex would change was the fact they had yet to kiss. While she was nervous at the idea, she was excited also. She would often imagine what it would be like to feel Olivia's lips moving against her own. She shook the thought from her mind and leaned her head on Olivia's shoulder.

Olivia stopped and turned to face her girlfriend. "I'm having so much fun here."

Alex laughed "Me too."

Olivia slowly wrapped one arm around Alex's waist and stepped a little closer. Her heart was pounding in her chest but in this moment she wanted to kiss Alex more than she'd ever wanted anything in her life.

Alex slid her arms around Olivia's waist. She was struggling to keep her breathing even. The look in Olivia's eyes told her what was about to happen but she couldn't quite believe it. She closed her eyes and sighed when she felt Olivia gently push a few loose strands of hair behind her ear before gently placing her hand on her cheek.

Olivia's whole body was shaking, she just hoped it didn't show. She took a deep breath then leaned in and lightly pressed their lips together. It lasted only a second but it took their breath away. When Olivia pulled back and opened her eyes she couldn't help but smile, Alex's eyes were slowly fluttering open and she was smiling brighter than Olivia had ever seen. "Was that okay?" she whispered.

"Trust me that was more than okay. That was amazing!" She slowly glanced around to make sure no one was watching them. Luckily there were very few people on the beach. She looked back to Olivia and grinned "What do you say we try that again?"

Olivia wrapped both arms around Alex and pulled her till their bodies were flush against one another "Hell yeah." She cut off Alex's laughter by pressing their lips together again. Neither had kissed anyone before so it was a little awkward. Olivia could feel her body tremble slightly as Alex parted her lips slightly and increased the kiss. When their lungs screamed for air they finally parted. "Whoa." Olivia choked out.

Alex gasped for air "Whoa is right!"

After a few minutes of silence Olivia finally spoke "I never imagined our first kiss would be on the beach."

"This wasn't our first kiss."

Olivia narrowed her eyes "Yes it was."

Alex grinned and gave her a light peck on the lips causing Olivia to grin "Our first kiss was on New Year's Eve in my room when we were eleven."

Olivia chuckled "I guess you're right. Well then this was our first grown up kiss."

Alex looked up at the darkening sky "We should probably get back before they come looking for us." Olivia nodded. Alex leaned in for one last kiss, not knowing when she might get her next one. They linked hands and didn't separate until they were in sight of the Cabot home.

The next day was spent wandering around town. As badly as both girls wanted to hold hands they didn't. There was too great a risk of being seen and it getting back to Alex's parents. Both had decided they wouldn't tell their parents until they were sure that there was really something to this. After their kiss the night before both girls knew this relationship was definitely something that they could see being long term. After they started dating Olivia had told Alex that she would sleep in the floor when she slept over but Alex insisted she sleep in the bed with her. She pointed out that if Laura happened to come in she would wonder why she was in the floor, plus Alex liked being able to lay next to Olivia and hold her hand. When they climbed into bed the night before they had rolled so they were facing one another. Olivia had reached out and pulled Alex to her. They fell asleep wrapped in each other's arms, neither had ever felt as safe as they did in that moment.

"So we are going to dinner at the Malcom's then we're going out sailing for a while. Will you two be okay?"

"Yeah we'll be fine." Alex said. "Is it okay if we go back to the beach for a while this evening?"

"That's fine but I want you back in the house before dark." Her father replied.

"What are we doing?" Olivia asked as Alex led her to small shop.

"We're going to get a few things to eat and we're going to have a picnic on the beach this evening." Alex made a quick pass through the store grabbing some bread, cheese and fruit. She passed by the dessert counter and grabbed two pieces of chocolate cake. She turned back and grinned at Olivia "Since you love chocolate so much." They grabbed a couple sodas and headed toward the beach.

Olivia sat on a blanket with Alex's head resting on her shoulder, their fingers laced together. She had never been as happy in her entire life as she was in that moment. They were making the most of their time together because now that school had started back they wouldn't get to see each other as often as they did in the summer. Olivia took a moment to look around to make sure that no one was too close. There was one young couple but they were far enough down the beach they wouldn't know what they were doing. Olivia turned her head slightly and pressed their lips together.

Alex sighed and slid her hand up Olivia's arm and placed it on the back of her head. She began running her fingers through her hair, enjoying the feel of it as it tangled in her fingers. When they finally parted Alex leaned her forehead against Olivia's. "I am so glad we decided to give this a try."

Olivia chuckled as she stared into Alex's blue eyes "Me too." She waited another moment trying to let the moment last as long as possible "We should probably get back its almost dark."

Once back in the house Alex led them to the sofa. Olivia was not expecting what happened next. She was taken by surprise when she felt Alex's lips against hers. Her eyes slowly closed and she couldn't help when she moaned into the kiss.

Alex groaned as she pulled back to catch her breath "Enjoying yourself?"

"Oh yeah."

Alex leaned in yet again and continued leaning until she was laying on top of the brunette. She was just settling in when she felt Olivia pull back. She could tell by the look in her girlfriend's eyes that something was bothering her. "Liv, what's wrong?"

"Alex." Olivia gasped for air "Alex I'm not ready yet."

"Ready for what?"

Olivia blushed slightly "I'm not ready to have sex. I'm sorry."

Alex blushed too "Oh I'm not either. I didn't mean for you to think that's what I was trying." She smiled "And never think that you have to apologize for not being ready for something. I would never make you do something you weren't ready for, same as I know you would never make me do something I wasn't ready for." She rose up so she was resting on her arms "I just really enjoy kissing you and I thought we could continue what we were doing on the beach."

Olivia breathed a sigh of relief "I'm more than okay continuing what we were doing." she reached up to pull Alex down to her but stopped for a moment, her face turning serious. "Alex I promise you I will never make you do something you don't want to do. If I ever try to I want you to tell me to stop and I promise I'll stop."

Alex smiled, Olivia was the most caring person she'd ever encountered. "Olivia I have known you for almost ten years. I trust you more than anyone in the world." She leaned back in and smiled into the kiss when she felt Olivia wrap her arms around her back and hold her close.

Olivia wasn't sure how to do what she was about to do but she decided to try anyway. She gently pressed her tongue to Alex's lips and when they parted she slid her tongue against Alex's. It lasted for a few seconds before they separated again. "That was weird, and a little sloppy."

Alex laughed and kissed the tip of her nose. "Yeah but I really liked it. I mean I really, really liked it." this caused Olivia to laugh as well. "I think all we need is a little practice."

They made out for a good while longer. Both hated to stop but knew if they didn't there was a good chance they'd never stop. They were relaxing on the sofa watching a movie when John and Laura returned.

"So what did you two get into this evening?"

Alex shrugged "Nothing much. Went back to the beach for a while and had a picnic then came back here and have just hung out." she shot Olivia a sly grin knowing her parents couldn't see her face.

Olivia blushed "Yeah just a boring evening."

Laura pat them on the shoulder "Well just remember we'll be leaving before noon tomorrow so don't stay up half the night."

Alex stood causing Olivia to follow her lead. "I think we'll go ahead to bed now."

Once in bed they turned to face one another, their hands linking as their lips found one another. "I really like kissing you good night."

Olivia blushed yet again "I like it too." She snuggled a little closer "Goodnight Alex."

Alex sighed and closed her eyes "Goodnight Liv."


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you for the reviews, follows and favorites. I'm glad you're enjoying the direction the story is taking. This one's a little fluffy plus I threw a little humor in as well. Thought I'd give them a break, as well as you, considering what's coming next. Reviews are welcome, so let me know what you think. Enjoy!**

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Chapter 8

Birthdays were special, they were meant to be fun; but for Olivia it was one of the worst days of the year. That is why Alex always tried to make the day special, and since Olivia was now her girlfriend she wanted to make it even more special. Alex rushed around her bedroom trying to put the finishing touches on her outfit. She had thought about dressing up but then she realized it might tip her parents off that there was more going on between her and the brunette. They had been dating since July, six wonderful months.

"Now where exactly are you two going?" Laura asked as Alex ran down the stairs.

"We're going to Mario's for dinner and then maybe a movie. It's her birthday so it's up to her."

Laura wrapped an arm around her daughter "I am so proud of you. You are such a good person, Olivia doesn't have the best home life but you always try to make things better for her."

Alex smiled and hoped the blush she could feel wasn't showing "Well she is my best friend. I want her to know that there are people who care about her."

"Well we're going to the Howard's anniversary party this evening if you two want to come back here and hang out."

Alex grinned inwardly, spending some time alone with her girlfriend would be perfect. "Oh okay, well I'll see what she wants to do."

Olivia knocked nervously on the Cabot's door. She had finally gotten past being nervous when being there but now that she was dating their daughter she always had that nervous feeling again. She was taken a little off guard when the door opened and Laura pulled her into the house before enveloping her in a tight hug.

"Happy birthday sweetheart."

"Thank you Laura." She smiled when the older woman handed her an envelope. Olivia opened and read the card, the words bringing tears to her eyes. She had barely gotten a happy birthday from Serena. She began to cry though when she saw the one hundred dollar bill folded inside the card "You didn't have to do this."

Laura placed a hand on Olivia's "Olivia you are special to Alex and you have become special to us as well over the years. We wanted you to have it." she leaned in and smiled "And I want you to spend it however you want."

"Hey Liv!" Alex said as she bounded into the room. She had to stop herself from kissing her girlfriend but she didn't want to give her mom a heart attack. "Ready to go?"

"Sure." Olivia leaned in and hugged Laura one more time and thanked her for the card and money.

They waited until they had made it a couple blocks before Alex grabbed Olivia by the hand and pulled her into an alley and pressed their lips together. When they finally parted Alex leaned her forehead against Olivia's "I've been dying to do that since I walked into the living room."

Olivia took a deep breath "Me too." She placed her hand on the back of Alex's head and pulled her to her again for another kiss. "I hate we don't get to see each other more often than we do."

"So do I but we're going to make the most of our time together."

They continued their way to the restaurant that Alex had made their reservations at. She knew Olivia loved Italian and they had eaten at this same restaurant with her parents before and knew Olivia loved it as much as she did. Olivia couldn't get over how Alex was willing to go out of her way to make her birthday special.

After dinner they decided to stop at a little bakery. Olivia sat at one of the tables and began laughing when Alex came back carrying two pieces of chocolate cake. Alex reached in her purse and placed a candle on Olivia's piece then lit it with a lighter. "Come on Liv, make a wish."

Olivia closed her eyes and smiled when she knew what her wish was going to be. She opened her eyes and blew the candle out.

"So what did you wish for?" Alex asked as she began eating.

Olivia grinned "If I tell it won't come true." This wish was something she definitely wanted to come true. She wished for her mom to stop drinking, and more importantly for her and Alex to be together forever.

Once they finished their dessert they headed back out onto the street and linked their hands together. Olivia noticed Alex kept staring at her. "What?"

Alex leaned over to whisper in her ear "Do you have any idea how hot you are in a leather jacket?"

Olivia blushed "Not nearly as hot as you are with your glasses."

Alex pressed a quick kiss to her cheek "Come on, my mom and dad are at an anniversary party."

She gave Olivia a quick peck on the lips before taking off down the street. She wasn't surprised though to feel Olivia grab her around the waist as they reached the end of her street. They continued down the sidewalk laughing and talking but not holding hands. They hated when they couldn't but since they were on Alex's street they didn't want to run the risk of a neighbor seeing them and telling her parents.

Inside they kicked their shoes off and hung their coats up. Olivia was heading toward the sofa but was taken by surprise when she felt Alex take her by the hand and begin pulling her up the stairs. Olivia grew slightly nervous as they entered Alex's bedroom. Even though they didn't get to see each other as often as they liked they had made out more times than they could count. They had yet to go all the way, and even though Olivia found it was hard to get that thought out of her mind lately she still didn't feel she was ready. She was pulled from her thoughts when she felt Alex shove her down on the bed and climb on top of her.

"Alex?"

Alex grinned as she stared down at her girlfriend "We're not gonna do anything neither of us isn't ready for. I just don't know when mom or dad might come in and I really don't want them to find us making out on the sofa." She leaned in for a kiss "I think behind closed doors is a better idea."

"I like the way you think." Olivia said as she pulled Alex back to her.

A little time had passed when Alex suddenly flipped them so she was now back on top. She sat up and took a deep breath and smiled down at Olivia before taking the hem of her shirt in her hands and pulling it over her head.

Olivia felt her mouth go dry at the sight of Alex straddling her with only a bra and her jeans on. They had changed clothes in front of one another before and had seen each other in a bikini, but this was different. Olivia allowed her hands to rest on Alex's thighs, she wanted to run her hands across Alex's torso but couldn't seem to make her arms work.

Alex noticed the nervous look on Olivia's face and couldn't help but chuckle "You can touch me if you want too."

"Um, o…okay." Olivia stumbled out. She cautiously ran her hands up across Alex's stomach, reveling at the feel of her skin beneath her fingers. She desperately wanted to go a little higher but was too afraid.

Alex placed her hands on Olivia's stomach "Can I take yours off?" Olivia nodded quickly. Alex pulled her up just enough to pull the shirt over her head. Alex gasped when she realized Olivia was wearing a black lace bra. She leaned down and began placing light kisses along her neck then down across her chest.

"Oh God, Alex." Olivia moaned. She pulled Alex up so they were looking eye to eye "I love you."

The air left Alex's lungs at the words. She had wanted to tell Olivia she was in love with her but was afraid of scaring her off. She leaned in and placed a gentle kiss to her lips before whispering "I love you too. I love you so much."

Olivia had never heard I love you from another person except her grandmother, but in her heart she knew Alex loved her. She could feel it in her soul. She looked up at Alex as she rose back up. Olivia ran her hands up across her stomach before stopping for a second "Can I touch you?"

Alex felt her heart swell that Olivia cared for her enough to ask her permission before touching her. She gasped when she felt Olivia place her hands on her breasts. This wasn't enough for Alex though. She took Olivia's hands and placed them on her back. She nodded when Olivia gave her a questioning look.

Olivia sat up and began trying to unhook Alex's bra. She was so nervous she was having trouble trying to get the clasps undone. "Damnit." She whispered as she fumbled yet again causing Alex to laugh. When she finally got it loose she gasped at the sight of Alex. "You are so beautiful." Olivia whispered as she began placing kisses across her chest as she placed her hands over Alex's breasts.

"I'm sorry they're not very big."

"They are perfect." She gave Alex a sly grin as she lightly squeezed them. "They are the perfect size for my hands."

Alex chuckled as she began sliding her hands around to unhook Olivia's as well. Both girls stopped however when they heard Alex's parents come in downstairs. "Shit, they're home!" Alex said as they both began scrambling for their clothes.

Laura and John walked up the stairs of their home. Laura decided to check in on the teens as her husband headed toward their bedroom. She opened the door and smiled at the two girls who were sprawled out in the floor flipping through magazines while MTV played in the background. "Did you two have a nice evening?"

"It was great." Alex said with a huge smile.

Olivia nodded "I think it was my best birthday to date."

"Well I'm glad you had a good birthday Olivia." She waited a moment, her motherly instinct told her they were holding something back. She noticed the slight flush to their skin and figured they had maybe hit the liquor cabinet at some point in the evening. Laura decided to ignore it for the time being, after all she had done the same thing when she was their age. "Well I'm going to bed shortly. If you two need anything let me know. Goodnight."

Both girls echoed back their goodnight as well. Once they were certain Laura was gone they both burst out laughing. "Oh my God that was close!" Olivia said once she was able to catch her breath.

Alex nodded "See I told you behind closed doors would be better."

They continued laughing for a few minutes before Olivia grew serious "You know we're going to have to tell them eventually."

Alex reached out and squeezed her hand "I know. I'm just afraid of what they'll say, mine and yours."

"I am too, but Alex you're my girlfriend and I love you. I don't want to keep hiding."

"I love you too Olivia and I don't want to hide anymore either."

They finally agreed that they would tell their parents. They didn't decide when but they knew they were going to have to.

Finally around two that morning they couldn't keep their eyes open any longer. They pulled the pillows and blankets to the floor to go to sleep. Both knew if they got back in bed things would pick up where they had left off and considering Alex's parents were home it was something they couldn't risk. They settled in laying in the same positions they had been in, facing one another so they couldn't actually touch. They figured they were safer that way. Alex rose up and leaned over kissing Olivia slowly. "Goodnight, I love you."

Olivia sighed as Alex pulled away "Hmm, I love you too."


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: This is a bit of a tough one. Even though it's AU I like to try and weave a bit of canon in the story. Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy.**

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Chapter 9

It had been almost a week since Alex and Olivia had decided to tell their parents they were dating. They had offered to be there for one another when they told them but both decided it would be best if they did it on their own. Olivia wanted Alex with her but at the same time she had no idea how Serena would react and she didn't want Alex anywhere near her just in case. Alex also wanted Olivia with her for support but like Olivia she was afraid how her parents would react. She knew there was a chance they wouldn't be happy about it. She knew if they said something bad about Olivia it would be bad enough but she didn't want Olivia there to hear it.

Olivia waited nervously for Serena to come in. She had come straight home from school hoping to catch her before she headed out for the evening, or before she had a chance to get drunk. She was pacing the apartment when she heard the door open. When her eyes met her mother's she felt her heart sink, she had already been drinking. "Hey Mom."

"Hi." Serena headed toward her bedroom to change. When she returned she noticed Olivia seemed to be fidgeting. "What's wrong with you?"

Olivia sighed and ran her hand through her hair. "Can we talk? It's kinda important."

Serena collapsed into a chair "Go ahead." Olivia sat down across from her and took several deep breaths "Are you going to talk or just sit there?"

Olivia took one final breath and steeled her nerves "I've been seeing someone." She noticed how Serena's eyes narrowed, urging clarification "I've um…I'm seeing Alex."

Serena Benson was a literary professor, she was rarely speechless but she was in this moment "Alex? As in your best friend Alex?"

"Yes ma'am."

"How long has this been going on?"

"About six months."

Serena jumped to her feet and headed to the kitchen "You have been seeing someone for six months and I'm just hearing about it? Never mind it's a girl?!"

"We didn't want to say anything until we were sure it wasn't just a phase. It's not Mom I promise. I'm in love with her and she loves me."

Serena spun around, the bottle of vodka in her hand "Are you screwing her?"

Olivia's eyes widened "Not that it's any of your business; but no, I'm not! What's the problem Mom? I thought you were okay with people who were gay? I remember you having that group of students here and I know the one guy was gay and one girl talked about her girlfriend."

"I couldn't care less what people do at home in their beds. You however are my child! Do you seriously think she'll want to be with you once she knows you're the child of a rapist?"

"She already knows, she's known for as long as I have and she couldn't care in the least!" Their voices were getting louder with each passing second as their tempers continues to flare. Olivia was pretty sure they were heading toward the fight that had been brewing between them for years.

"She may say she loves you now but once you two get older she'll see that she could do so much better." She turned the bottle up and took a long drink "I told you once Olivia you are mine."

"I love her Mom and I don't know what it is but something inside me says we will always be together."

Serena was about to take a step and stumbled, her bottle shattering as it hit the floor. She bent down and grabbed the neck of the bottle "You're mine! I'll never let anyone have you!" she shouted as she lunged toward her daughter.

Olivia saw what was happening but it seemed to be in slow motion. She jumped to avoid the jagged edge of the bottle. When she realized Serena was coming at her again she kicked her mother backwards. She watched as Serena hit the wall and slid to the floor.

Olivia froze when she realized what she had done. She waited for Serena to come at her again but slowly began to realize she wasn't moving. She took a cautious step closer and began to panic. Had she injured her? Was it possible she had just killed her mother? Olivia reached a shaking hand out, and like she'd done many times over the years placed two fingers on her mother's neck to feel for a pulse. She breathed a sigh of relief when she could feel a pulse. Olivia ran to her bedroom and threw some clothes and personal items in a duffle, grabbed her backpack and left the apartment. She wasn't sure where she was going to go but she knew she wouldn't be safe if she was still in the apartment when Serena came to.

Alex walked into the living room. Her Dad was watching tv while her Mom read a magazine. She had been so nervous all through dinner she had been barely able to eat. She decided if she didn't tell them now she would lose her nerve. "Um Mom, Dad, can we talk?"

John turned the tv off "Sure we can Alley Cat."

Alex smiled at the nickname he'd called her since she was little. She only hoped he still loved her like he did now after she told him. She took a seat in the chair so she could face both her parents. She ran her hands along her legs trying to dry them. She took a deep breath and began "I need to tell you something and I'm not really sure how you're going to take it. All I ask is that you let me say what I need to say before you say anything."

Laura and John gave one another a nervous look before looking back to their only child and nodded. "Go ahead sweetheart, we're listening." Laura said as she braced herself for what she was about to hear.

"I've been dating someone. I'm sorry I haven't told you but we wanted to see if it was going to work out before we told anyone. I've never been happier and I wanted to tell you."

"How long have you been dating this person?" John asked.

Alex knew her parents were just concerned about her "Six months."

"Oh Alex." Laura said as she shook her head slightly "You could've told us."

"Are you going to tell us who it is?"

Alex sat up straight, she didn't want them to think she was ashamed of the person she was seeing "It's Olivia. We began dating just after my birthday." She looked back and forth at her parents. Both were wearing shocked expressions. Alex couldn't blame them, she'd just dropped a bomb on them. The silence however was beginning to unnerve her. "Mom, Dad, please say something.

Laura opened and closed her mouth a few times before speaking "Olivia? As in your best friend Olivia?"

"Yes."

"Since when are you gay?"

Alex turned to her Dad, she didn't exactly like the tone he'd just used. She'd been afraid if either of her parents had a problem it would be him. It was all Alex could do to keep her voice under control "We are both attracted to boys but we are attracted to each other as well. We're in love."

"Oh Alex, you're both so young." Laura said in a sympathetic tone.

"I know we are Mom but I really do love her and she loves me." she took a deep breath "We both hated hiding this from you two as well as Serena but we wanted to see if it was going to work out or not. One thing we're committed to is that even if it doesn't work we will remain best friends. Look I really want your support in this but we are going to stay together even if we don't have it." she stands and is about to leave the room when she is stopped by her Mom pulling her in for a tight hug. Alex finally begins crying when she feels her mother's arms around her.

"Alex sweetheart, we still love you. We will always love you." they pulled back and Laura gently wiped her daughter's tears. "Please understand this is a big shock for us. It's going to take a while to adjust but I want you to know that we will always love and support you."

"Thank you Mom." Alex looked to her father but could tell by his demeanor she wasn't going to get a response from him. He is quiet and appears to be staring off into space. Alex wants to ask him if he's okay but at the same time she's afraid to. She decides that it would maybe be best to allow him time to process everything he'd just heard. Alex hugged her mom one more time and thanked her for her love and support before heading upstairs to her room.

An hour had passed since she had told her parents and Alex had yet to hear from either of them. She also had yet to hear from Olivia either. She didn't want to call the Benson apartment for fear of Serena answering but Olivia had promised to call her after she talked to her mother. The longer the evening went the more concerned Alex became for her girlfriend.

Olivia stood nervously at the payphone a couple blocks from Alex's house. It was getting colder and she didn't know where to go. She wanted to call Alex but she was afraid the Cabot's wouldn't want her in their home, she didn't know if they approved of the relationship. Olivia knew she couldn't stay on the street tonight. She took a deep breath and dialed the number she knew by heart. She released the breath she was holding when her favorite voice in the world picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hey Alex." Olivia tried to keep the tears from her voice.

"Olivia. Are you okay?" she could hear the pain in her girlfriend's voice "What's wrong? Where are you?"

"Alex I told my Mom. It didn't go well. I…" she wiped her tears and cursed herself inwardly for losing her control over her emotions "I don't have anywhere to go."

"Yes you do Olivia. You can come here." Olivia was about to speak but Alex cut her off "I told my parents. They are surprised but my Mom said she would support us."

"And your Dad?"

"I think he needs some time to adjust." Alex grew quiet for a moment "Olivia I won't have you staying on the street or God knows where tonight. You're coming here, understand?"

Olivia smiled "I'm a couple blocks over. I'll be there in a few minutes."

Olivia had barely raised her hand to ring the bell when Alex opened the door and pulled her inside enveloping her in a tight hug. "I love you." Olivia whispered as she allowed Alex to hold her.

"I love you too." She pulled back and looked Olivia in the eye "It's going to be okay."

"Ahem." Both looked around quickly to see Laura watching them. "I trust I'm not interrupting?"

"Mom I told Olivia to come here, she has nowhere to go. It's either us or the street tonight." Alex rushed out.

Laura smiled "Calm down Alex I'm not about to throw her out on the street." She escorted them into the living room. She waited till they took a seat on the sofa then she took a seat on the coffee table to face them. "Olivia I take it things didn't go well with your mom?"

"No." She proceeded to tell them everything that had happened at her apartment. By the time she was done she was crying. She was grateful however for the two women sitting with her. Alex had an arm around her holding her tight while Laura held both her hands in her own. "I just didn't know what else to do. I went from being afraid she was going to kill me to being afraid I'd killed her."

Laura reached up and wiped her tears "Olivia you can stay here as long as you need too."

"Thank you." Olivia wondered for what felt like the millionth time what she had done through the years to deserve someone like Alex as well as her mom.

Laura grinned at the couple "We do need to talk." They looked up nervously "We also need to lay down a few ground rules."

Alex and Olivia looked to each other, they knew this was going to happen eventually.

"First things first. Are you two having sex?"

"Mom!" Alex shouted as she felt the blush cross her face. She turned to Olivia and noticed she was the same shade of red.

"I think it's a fair question."

Olivia could barely bring herself to look the elder Cabot in the eye "No ma'am we're not. I mean we haven't."

Laura couldn't help but grin at how nervous the girls had become "What you mean is you haven't yet."

"Well neither of us plan on being nuns." Alex said sarcastically. Olivia squeezed her hand and silently urged her to calm down.

"Look I just want to make sure you're not doing anything you're not ready for. I also want to make sure you're being careful."

"In case you forgot we're both girls. It's not like we're going to get knocked up." Alex laughed. Olivia wanted to laugh also but something told her not to.

"Enough with the sarcasm Alexandra." The use of her full name caused Alex to immediately straighten up. "Sex is a huge step in a relationship and I just want to make sure that you are ready to take that step. If you have any questions you can ask me. While I may not know how it works between two women I'll do what I can to help you get answers."

Olivia was grateful that even though Laura was uncomfortable she was willing to do whatever was necessary to be there for them. Alex on the other hand was wishing she could die, her mom could be so embarrassing sometimes.

"Now for the new rules." Both girls groaned but they had talked about it and knew this would be happening. "You will be allowed to date each other. Olivia you will also be welcome in our home just like you always have been. Now when it comes to sleepovers." Alex and Olivia hung their heads. They hated their sleepovers were coming to an end but at the same time they knew it was going to happen. "You can still have sleepovers."

"Really?!" Alex asked excitedly.

"Yes however Olivia will sleep in the guest room or you will both sleep in the living room. There will be no more being alone behind closed doors."

"Do you not trust us?"

"Well you have been lying to us for six months."

"Technically we haven't lied, we've just not been forthcoming with information." Alex smiled.

Olivia shook her head, there was no doubt in her mind Alex was going to be an amazing attorney "Laura I'm so sorry we didn't tell you but we were afraid to. This has been a huge change for us and we just wanted to be sure this was something we wanted to pursue."

All three women talked for a while longer before Laura finally pulled them each into her arms for a hug. While this was a big change for everyone she wanted them to know she loved and supported them. Afterwards Alex pulled Olivia to the kitchen and fixed them a bite to eat. They ate in relative silence, only exchanging glances and shy smiles.

After their meal Olivia walked over and leaned on the counter next to Alex. "So where's your Dad?"

Alex looked down for a moment and tried to keep from crying "He didn't say much when I told them. After I was done he went to his office and has been there ever since." She had sworn she wasn't going to cry but she felt the tears beginning to fall. She turned and looked to her girlfriend, grateful when she felt Olivia place a comforting hand on her back "What if he doesn't love me anymore?"

"Oh Alex." Olivia whispered as she pulled Alex in for a hug. "I'm sure he still loves you."

"How do you know?" Alex choked out.

"Well, he didn't come at you with a broken glass bottle did he?"

Alex looked up and noticed that even though Olivia was hurting she was attempting a joke "I guess you've got a point there."

Olivia held her as she continued to cry, her own heart was breaking as well. They had both known that this was not going to be easy but at the same time they had hoped it would've gone better than it had. Both girls cried in each other's arms until they were sure they couldn't cry anymore.

"I'm exhausted." Alex said as she finally pulled free. She leaned over the sink and splashed water on her face to calm down.

"Me too." Olivia leaned in and placed a kiss on her temple "How about we go to bed?"

When they reached the top of the stairs Alex turned to Olivia and smiled "I really wish you could sleep in my room tonight." She said as she wiped a few stray tears. "I need you to hold me more now than I think I ever have."

"I need you too Alex but we can't. We're lucky your Mom is even willing to allow me to sleep over anymore. I don't want to run the risk of her not trusting us."

"I know. I know." Alex wrapped her arms around Olivia and buried her face in her neck. There was something about being in the brunette's arms that made her feel safer than she ever had in her life. She pulled back and looked around before facing Olivia again "Kiss me."

Olivia looked around quickly before grinning at Alex "Well I can't turn down a request like that." She lightly pressed their lips together and sighed when she felt Alex deepen the kiss. Olivia knew without out a doubt that she could kiss the blonde all day and it still wouldn't be enough.

Alex stared at Olivia as she pulled back, she wasn't sure how much longer she could go on just kissing her without things going further. She shook the thoughts from her mind; right now was not the time to be thinking about the more physical aspects of their relationship, or the lack there of. Right now her focus was on Olivia and the fight she had with her mother. She was also concerned about what her father was thinking. He hadn't said a word to her since their conversation earlier in the evening. He had gone into is home office and as far as she knew he was still in there. She had considered going to talk to him but decided against it, thinking it best to allow him time to think as well as calm down.

Alex was pulled from her thoughts when she could hear Olivia saying her name "Huh?"

Olivia chuckled "Where are you?"

Alex smiled and pulled her closer "Wrapped in your arms, where I hope I'll be forever."

"I hope so too." She gave Alex another quick peck on the lips "Goodnight, I love you."

"I love you too."

Olivia settled into the bed in the guestroom, one thing was for sure it wasn't as comfortable as Alex's. She was exhausted from the evening but her mind was racing too much to allow her to sleep. She was worried about Alex and what her father thought. She knew Alex looked up to and respected him, if he didn't accept them she didn't know what it would do to the blonde. Then there was her own mother. She always wondered if she and Serena would hit a point of no return and she couldn't help but think that this evening was it. While she was on her way to Alex's she had entered a few businesses who were advertising for help. She wanted to get a job and begin saving money in the hopes that by the time she turned eighteen she could move out. Unless something changed the sooner she was away from Serena the better off she'd be.

Both girls lay quietly in separate rooms wishing they were together. They had just spent one of the most, if not the most, emotionally draining and difficult evenings of their young lives. They were concerned about how this was not only going to affect them but also how it would affect their families. Their only saving grace was Alex's mother. It was understandable that she was surprised and they were more than willing to give her time to process everything that had been said. What they were most grateful for was her love and support. The most important thing though was they knew they had each other to lean on. As long as they had each other they knew they would be okay.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I'm nervous about this chapter, big changes ahead. I hope it turned out as good as it seemed in my head. Thank you for your response to the last chapter, I love reading everyone of your reviews. Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 10

Alex slowly drug herself into the kitchen. Today was a city holiday which meant no school. She loved being able to sleep in but at the same time she bored easily. She was all caught up on her homework and she had just finished the latest book she purchased. Olivia was now working in a bookstore near her apartment and of course Alex made a point to go see her as often as possible. It allowed her to combine her two favorite things, reading and Olivia.

"Well, well. Look who decided to join the land of the living." Laura said as she looked up from her newspaper and coffee.

"There's no school today, I'm supposed to sleep in." Alex said as she poured a cup of coffee for herself.

"I'm going out to do a little shopping today. Would you like to come along?"

"No I was hoping I could spend a little time with Olivia today if she doesn't have to work." Alex grinned sweetly "That is if it's okay with you."

Laura rolled her eyes and laughed as she swat her daughter on the behind "I left my boots upstairs so cut the sweet little girl act."

"What? I am a sweet little girl." Alex laughed "I can go though, can't I?"

"I guess."

Alex grabbed the cordless and ran back upstairs. She prayed it would be Olivia's day off. They had only seen each other three times since the weekend they told their parents, and two of those times were when she had gone to the store where Olivia worked. She couldn't help the smile that spread across her face when Olivia picked up "Hey baby."

Olivia laughed "Hey yourself." They talked a bit about how the last few days had been before Olivia said the words Alex was hoping to hear "So I'm off today, you wanna come over?"

"I was so hoping you would say that." Alex thought for a moment "What about your Mom?"

"Midterms are next week so she's extended her office hours this week plus she's tutoring." Olivia dropped her voice a bit "Which means I'll be home alone all day."

Alex couldn't ignore the tingle that ran down her spine "All I gotta do is change and I'm on my way. I love you."

Olivia smiled, just like she did every time Alex said those three little words "I'll see you in a bit. I love you too."

As Alex began to get dressed she stopped and eyed the bag sitting in her closet floor. She grabbed the items from the bag and put them on, smiling at her reflection in the mirror. A couple days earlier while shopping with her mom she had picked out new lingerie. She hoped Olivia would like it. She knew there was no guarantee that anything would happen between them but she knew she was ready if Olivia was.

Alex ran down the stairs and into the kitchen "I'm heading to Olivia's." she stopped short when she saw her dad standing at the counter checking his briefcase. It had been a week since she and Olivia had told their parents and while Laura acted as though nothing had ever been said John was a different story. Laura assured her that he still loved her and Alex thought he did but there were moments that made her wonder. He only said what had to be said and nothing more. He had also been waiting until Alex left for school to leave which left no interaction between the two. Alex figured he must've forgotten that today was a holiday or he would've left already. Alex had been wanting to confront him but her mom had convinced her to wait and allow him time.

"Good morning Dad."

"Good morning Alex."

There was a part of her that wanted to scream, 'What is your problem?' but she knew that would only make matters worse. She watched as he closed his briefcase, kissed Laura on the cheek and said goodbye before leaving the house.

Alex stared at the floor as she leaned against the counter. She struggled not to cry when she felt her mother's arm wrap around her shoulder. "Why doesn't he love me?"

"Oh Alex." Laura said as she pulled the teen closer. "He does love you Alex." Alex looked at her skeptically. "He does, I know he does. I don't know why he's being the way he is though. I've asked him what's wrong but he says he just needs time." she placed her hand under Alex's chin and tilted her head so they were looking eye to eye. "This was a big surprise for both of us. While I am okay with you being with Olivia I won't lie, it was a surprise and I'm still adjusting." She kissed her daughter's forehead "One things for sure, never doubt our love for you. We both love you more than anything in the world."

Alex smiled "I love you too."

Olivia paced nervously in the entryway of her apartment. She had just buzzed Alex in and the blonde would be there any minute. She couldn't wait to hold her girlfriend. While Alex had stopped in the store where she was working they didn't show any signs of affection. Alex would look through the shelves while Olivia stocked the books. She was pulled from her thoughts when there was a knock at the door.

Alex's hand had barely left the door when she found herself being pulled into the apartment and into the arms of her girlfriend. She squealed when she felt Olivia push her up against the back of the door and press their lips together. Alex moaned when she felt Olivia's tongue slip into her mouth. She tangled her fingers in Olivia's hair to pull her closer. When the kiss finally broke Alex smiled as she struggled to catch her breath "I missed you too."

Olivia gave her another quick kiss "You have no idea how much I've missed you."

They curled up on the sofa and talked about how their week had gone. The mood in the room turned serious when Alex brought up Serena.

Olivia sighed "She's still not saying much when it comes to me and you."

"Did she apologize for trying to kill you?"

Olivia chuckled sadly "I don't even think she remembers it. Of course I haven't apologized for thinking I killed her either." She sighed "Alex you have no idea how lucky you are to have a mom like you do."

"I'm pretty lucky in that area."

"She told me that she doesn't understand why I would want to be with a girl, and even more so she doesn't understand why you would want to be with me. She said that one day you'll come to your senses and realize you can do so much better."

Alex wrapped her arms around the brunette and pulled her close "I can't do better." They both laughed when Alex realized what she said. "What I meant was I love you and I want to be with you. I can't do better because you are perfect for me."

"You're perfect for me too." Olivia replied as she lay her head on Alex's shoulder. They sat silently for a bit before Olivia looked up "How's things with your dad?"

Alex dropped her head back against the sofa and ran her hands through her hair "Still the same." She sighed. "All he said to me this morning was good morning and bye. Mom says I need to give him time but it's getting old."

"He'll come around."

"I doubt it." Alex scoffed. She stared at the ceiling for a moment before turning to Olivia with a smile "Today is our day. Let's forget about our parents, school, hell let's forget the rest of the world exists. Today it's just you and me."

Olivia leaned in for a kiss "I like the sound of that." She smiled into the kiss as she felt Alex laying back and pulling her down on top of her.

Time seemed to stop as they lost themselves in one another. Hands began to roam as their lips and tongues became lost in an intimate dance they had been perfecting for the past six, almost seven months.

Olivia was jolted back to reality when she felt Alex shift and slip her leg between hers. She pulled back and looked down at Alex panting beneath her; her lips red and swollen, her skin flushed and her eyes slowly opening. She didn't think she'd ever seen something so wonderful.

Alex reached up and ran her fingers through Olivia's long hair. They had always had a knack for knowing what the other was thinking, and Alex prayed she was right about what the brunette was thinking. "Olivia I feel like I know where this is heading but I need to know you're ready. If you're not I'm okay with that too."

Olivia smiled as she placed on last kiss to Alex's lips before standing and pulling her up along with her. She looked Alex in the eye as she spoke "I'm more nervous than I've ever been but I want this."

"I want this too Olivia. I want you."

Olivia took Alex's hand in her own and headed toward her bedroom. She hoped that her body wasn't giving away exactly how nervous she really was. She felt her hands go clammy as she closed the bedroom door.

Alex also picked up on her nervousness "Olivia you know you can say stop at any moment and we can stop."

"I know but I want to do this." She chuckled lightly "I mean I really, really want to do this." They both laughed at her choice of words. They held each other close for a moment as they tried to calm their nerves "Are you nervous?"

Alex laughed "I'm nervous as hell." She leaned in and lightly brushed their lips together.

They were both nervous as well as unsure what to do. After a little debating they decided they would undress themselves. Once they slid the last of their clothing off they shyly looked at one another. Alex allowed her eyes to slowly trail over her girlfriend's body, she didn't think she'd ever seen something so beautiful.

Olivia gasped at the sight of Alex's naked form. She wouldn't lie she had been imagining what Alex would look like naked for quite a while now, but nothing she imagined could do justice to the reality. Olivia swallowed thickly, her mouth had gone dry but she was certain all the moisture had flowed south. She took a deep breath as she reached out and pulled Alex to her. Both gasped as they felt their naked bodies press together for the first time. It seemed as though they fit together perfectly, as if they were made for one another. "You are so beautiful." Olivia whispered.

"Not nearly as beautiful as you."

They laid down facing one another, allowing their hands to roam. It was awkward and fumbling, both laughing a few times to ease the nervousness they were feeling. Alex continued to kiss Olivia as she slowly slid her hand down her body and gently slid it between her legs.

Olivia gasped at the feeling of Alex lightly sliding her fingers along her slit. "God Alex." She groaned out as she dropped her head onto Alex's shoulder. She wanted to touch Alex in the same way she was being touched but at the same time she was nervous.

Alex leaned back in for another kiss, she could instantly detect Olivia's nervousness. She reached up and took Olivia's hand, which was currently massaging her breast, and began to lower it down her body. "Olivia as much as I'm enjoying you're hands on my boobs, you can touch me anywhere you want." To make her point she guided Olivia's hand until it was resting between her legs.

Olivia's eyes widened as she moved her hand lightly "You're wet."

Alex grinned "So are you." she pressed their lips together and rolled Olivia onto her back. She settled down on top of Olivia and relaxed when she felt Olivia spread her legs allowing her to settle between them. She moved their hands and began kissing her way down Olivia's body, lightly placing kisses across her breasts.

"Oh, God." Olivia moaned. She pulled Alex up so they were facing one another. "Alex you're killing me here. Can you please stop teasing me?"

Alex laughed "Are you sure you're ready?" Olivia nodded. "Okay, just remember if you want to stop just say the word."

"Trust me that's not going to happen." she smiled back at Alex "I love you."

Alex leaned in and whispered "I love you too."

Later both girls lay staring at the ceiling. Olivia turned her head to look at Alex who was sprawled out on the bed and breathing deeply. Often times over the past few months she had imagined what this moment would be like. Her imagination couldn't come close to the reality. She pressed a light kiss to Alex's cheek "Are you okay?"

Alex bat her eyes and took a deep breath as she turned to face her girlfriend "What the hell was that?"

Olivia chuckled "My guess would be the same thing you did to me." she gave Alex a sly grin "I gave you your first orgasm."

Alex laughed as she pulled Olivia down for a kiss. While it wasn't powerful or earth shattering, it was intimate and the fact they shared the moment made it even more special. "Well thank you because that was fucking amazing!"

Olivia's eyes widened at Alex's choice of words. She had heard Alex cuss occasionally but she had never heard the F-word leave her mouth. "Well I could say the same thing about you too." They rolled so they were facing one another. Olivia looked into Alex's eyes and it felt as if she could see her future there. She hoped she was right.

Alex ran her fingers through Olivia's hair as she got lost in her brown eyes. Anytime Olivia looked into her eyes she felt as if the brunette was staring into her soul. No one had never known her the way Olivia had and she was certain no one ever would.

They lay silently staring at one another, both taking in the moment that their lives had now changed as well as their relationship. Nothing would ever be the same again. Both had been afraid that it would change their relationship and not for the better but both would readily admit that they felt closer now than ever.

Olivia propped herself up on her arm and looked down with a quizzical look "Where did you learn to do that thing you did with your tongue?"

Alex laughed "I can't give away all my secrets." She ran her hand along Olivia's naked body till it was resting on her hip "I seem to recall you doing something similar. How did you learn to do it?"

Olivia slid closer so their bodies were pressed together "I just knew it felt amazing when you did it and besides I just wanted to kiss you there." She grew nervous "Was it okay?"

"It was more than okay. I didn't hurt you did I?"

Olivia shook her head "No. I mean it did hurt a little but not as bad as I thought it would. You?"

"Same here. I'm a little sore but I'm okay."

They spent the afternoon cuddled up in bed together only leaving long enough to go to the bathroom and finally to get a bite to eat. As the sun began to sink both girls grew sad knowing their time together was coming to an end. Their day had been special. They felt as if nothing existed outside the apartment, Olivia's bedroom had been like a bubble and they were the only two people in the world. They also knew their time apart would be more difficult now that they knew what they could do when they were together.

Alex stood wrapped in Olivia's arms, dreading having to leave. "I wish this day would never end."

"Me too. I want you with me now more than ever."

"Are you working tomorrow?"

Olivia nodded "I get off at six though. Maybe we could grab a bite to eat afterward. I get off at five on Sunday, maybe we could get together then too."

"How's a movie sound?"

"Sounds great."

Olivia pulled Alex tight against her "I never thought it would be possible but I love you more now than ever."

Alex smiled as she turned her head to place a kiss on Olivia's neck "I know the feeling." She pulled back and grinned "You know how they always go on about how it's more special with someone you love? Believe it or not, they're right."

Olivia laughed, leave it to Alex to make a joke about their first time.

Alex looked at her watch again "Liv I'm gonna have to go."

"I see, I sleep with you and then you leave."

Alex kissed her sweetly "Do you really think I'd take your virginity and then leave?"

Olivia shook her head "God I love you." she said as she leaned in for a loving kiss.

"I love you too." Alex whispered as their lips finally parted.

They shared one more kiss before Alex stepped into the hallway "Call me tomorrow so we can plan what time to meet?"

"Only if you promise to call me as soon as you get home. I worry about you."

Alex kissed her one last time "Promise." She headed down the hall but turned back as she made it to the end "I love you!"

Olivia laughed "I love you too." She waited until Alex had turned the corner before going back into the apartment. She leaned back against the door and squealed. After taking a moment to calm herself she went through the apartment making sure there was no trace of Alex being there. While things had been semi okay the last couple days Olivia didn't want to chance setting her mother off. When she stepped into her bedroom images from the afternoon flashed through her mind. She lay down on her bed and could still smell Alex's scent on the sheets. She closed her eyes and groaned as she pictured Alex's head between her legs. She never knew she could feel the things she did when Alex slid her tongue along her opening. She was beginning to get worked up again but was grateful when she heard the phone ring. Alex informed her she had made it home safely and was looking forward to seeing her the next day. After telling the blonde how much she loved her she hung up. As she curled up in bed, exhausted from their activities, she imagined doing everything they had done that day again. Olivia knew they were young but she also knew that after making love to Alex she never wanted to make love to anyone else ever again.

Alex was changing into her pajamas when there was a knock at her door. She smiled at her mother as she entered the room.

"So did you and Olivia have a good day?"

"Yeah, we just hung around the apartment but it was a good day." Alex tried to hide her smile but it had been a permanent fixture all day.

"I'm so glad you have someone who can make you smile like that." She watched the blush that immediately spread across the girl's face. In that moment she knew something had happened between them that day. "Is there something you want to tell me?"

Alex looked down at her bed grabbed the stuffed bunny she kept there, Olivia had won it for her at a street fair. "Uh no, no. Nothing to tell."

Laura sat down and looked up at her daughter "You know you can tell me anything."

"Olivia and I slept together today." She blurted out before she was able to stop herself.

"Oh…um…well…uh okay." Laura stumbled over her words. She had her suspicions yet at the same time she didn't think they had gone that far yet.

"Mom say something, please."

"I'm sorry but you'll have to give me a minute. My daughter just told me she had sex for the first time. I need a few minutes." She reached out and took Alex's hand in hers. "Alex I know you two love each other but are you sure you were ready for this? I mean this was a huge step."

Alex smiled "We were both ready. In fact I've been ready for a while but Olivia wasn't so I waited for her. Today was amazing. I know you think we're too young and who knows maybe we are, but we made the decision together and neither of us regret it. I mean the things we did… I never knew I could feel things like I did or make her feel the things she did."

"Okay Alex that's enough. While I'm more than willing to listen to what you want to say I don't need the intimate details." She cringed at the thought of them sleeping together. One of them was her child and the other she loved as her own. She didn't want the image of them in bed together in her head.

"Sorry."

Laura leaned over and pressed a kiss to the side of her head. "While I may not be thrilled at the idea of my baby growing up, I'm glad you have someone like Olivia. I trust her and I trust you." she gave Alex a stern look "I also want you to know that I love her like my own so you better not hurt her."

Alex grinned ear to ear "I won't I promise." She wrapped her arms around her mother "I love you Mommy."

"I love you to baby."

After her mother left the room Alex crawled into bed and pulled the stuffed bunny into her arms. She found that when she couldn't have Olivia it was the next best thing. She allowed her mind to drift over their day together, she wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. As her eyes slowly closed she began dreaming of when she and Olivia could be alone again.


	11. Chapter 11

**Thanks again for the favorites, follows and reviews. I was concerned how the last chapter would be received. The first time is always awkward, and even more so writing it. I'm glad you all liked it. I know this one is a little long but I couldn't find a place to stop. Also since I started it out as one shots I'm trying to keep each chapter contained. However I do feel like its changing into a regular chapter based story, so some chapters may begin spilling over into others. **

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Chapter 11

Quiet. That was the only way to describe the Cabot household. Alex lay on her bed, her nose buried in a book while her father worked in his office downstairs. She put the book down when she realized she'd read the same page twice and still didn't know what it said. Alex tilted her head and looked at the picture sitting on her bedside table. It was one of her and Olivia taken a few weeks prior, her head was resting on Olivia's shoulder while Olivia's arm was wrapped around her. She had never known it was possible to be so happy. Her mom had told her that she was still young and had her whole life ahead of her, but she also assured Alex that she was more than okay with the fact that Olivia was her girlfriend. Alex knew they were still young and still had their whole lives ahead of them but she knew deep down that she and Olivia would be together the rest of their lives.

Things between her and her father were still tense although not as tense as they were when she first told them that they were dating. Their conversations were still limited to as little as possible. Every now and then she would bring Olivia up in front of him and she could see him visibly tense at the brunette's name, especially when she mentioned them being together.

She had tried to talk to him a couple times but either her mom would stop her or he would claim he had to leave for a meeting. Alex decided now was the perfect time seeing that her mother was doing volunteer work with one of the charities she volunteers with. It was also Saturday and she knew he couldn't claim he had to go to a meeting. Just before she headed downstairs Alex pulled on a hoodie that belonged to Olivia that she had not so discretely taken from the brunette. She decided if she couldn't have Olivia with her this would be the next best thing. It was warm and smelled like Olivia, it always made her feel like she was wrapped in her girlfriend's arms.

Alex shifted nervously outside her father's office for a moment before knocking on his door. When she heard him tell her to enter she pulled her shirt up close and inhaled Olivia's scent one more time before entering the office.

Both Cabot's eyed each other carefully as they both tried to decide what they were going to say. Alex walked over and took a seat in front of her father's desk. She looked at the floor, unable to meet his gaze. She didn't know why she was so nervous all of a sudden. She certainly didn't want him to think she was embarrassed or ashamed of being with Olivia because that couldn't be further from the truth.

John closed the file in front of him and folded his hands on his desk "Well?"

Alex loved her father dearly but right now she didn't feel as though she was talking to the same man she'd known all her life. "I was hoping we could talk."

"Let's talk then."

Alex had sworn she was going to remain calm when she and her father talked but she felt all her hurt and anger come roaring to the surface. "What is your problem?"

"I'm not sure what you're talking about."

"I'm talking about me and Olivia! What is your problem with us dating? She is a good person, you have always liked her. What changed?"

"Alex nothing has changed. I still like her and I agree she is a good person. I just don't think that you two dating is a good idea."

"Why not?"

"Alex you are a Cabot, there are certain things expected of you."

"Like what?" Alex tried to keep the sarcasm out of her voice but it was something she struggled with. It was something Olivia liked to joke would come in handy once she was an attorney.

"Alex you are to go to college, get your education and marry into a good family."

"I never said I wasn't going to college. Oh and am I supposed to just get my degree then never put it to use? I plan on getting my law degree then becoming an attorney. I'm planning on prosecution, working for the DA's office. Who knows, maybe higher office one day?"

John sighed "Those are all great goals and there is no doubt in my mind that you can achieve every one of them."

"I hear a but coming."

"However, being in a relationship with another woman will not help in your pursuit of those goals." Alex was about to speak but he cut her off "Alex think about it. If you wanted to run for DA or a higher office what would be your chances of winning? I know this city is slightly more accepting than many places around the country but at the same time do you really see them accepting a woman who is in a relationship with another woman?"

"I don't really care. If I can't be hired or elected based on my abilities then I don't want the job to begin with. Who sleeps in my bed is no one's business."

John stiffened at the mention of them sharing a bed. "Alex I understand people go through phases as a teen but."

"This is not a phase Dad!" Alex stood and began pacing the room "I love Olivia! I love her more than anything. Now I know you may think that I'm too young to feel this way but I don't. We're both going to go to college. I'm going to go on to law school, Olivia's going to go to the academy, and then who knows. What we do know is that we're going to be together."

John stood and walked around his desk so they were facing one another "Alex I know you think that I don't like Olivia but that couldn't be further from the truth, I think the world of her."

"Then why can't you accept us being together?" Alex cried as her emotions finally got the better of her.

"I've already explained this to you Alex."

"You're never going to accept this, are you?"

John walked back around and took a seat at his desk. "No Alex, I can't. Now when you come to your senses you can let me know."

Alex walked over and leaned on her father's desk looking him eye to eye "No, when you come to your senses you let me know." She took a deep breath trying to keep her anger in check "As much as I love you and as much as I want your approval I'm staying with Olivia. Nothing you say or do will change my mind!" Alex turned and stormed from the office without a second glance.

Olivia opened another box as she stocked the shelves with the newest release. She loved her job at the bookstore, it not only gave her a way to earn her own money it gave her a reason to be out of the apartment and away from her mother. Things between the two were still tense even though it had been over a month since she had told Serena she was dating Alex. Her mother seemed to have forgotten about their fight that night and had yet to bring up trying to attack her, or Olivia fighting back.

She turned when she heard the door open. Olivia couldn't help the smile on her face when she saw Alex enter the store. Her smile quickly faltered though when she could tell the blonde had been crying. Olivia cleaned up her mess as quickly as possible and made her way over to her girlfriend. "Hey." She whispered "Are you okay?"

Alex shook her head as she wiped her tears. She hated to come to Olivia's work but she couldn't help it. It was as if something guided her there. "I'm sorry I shouldn't bother you at work." Alex said as she quickly turned and left.

Olivia looked to one of her coworkers "Hey Maggie I'm taking my last break." She said before running out the door.

Olivia caught Alex just as she was about to turn the corner. "Hey." She said as she reached out and grabbed Alex's arm, stopping her from going further. She saw the tears streaming down the blonde's face and pulled her into her arms. "Come on, let's talk." Olivia led her to the alley that ran behind the building where they would sometimes take their breaks. Olivia sat down on a crate then pulled Alex down onto her lap. She reached up and pushed Alex's hair behind her ear "You wanna talk about it?"

Alex took a deep breath "I confronted my dad." She laughed but it wasn't her normal happy laughter, it was sad and laced with hurt "As you can tell it didn't go well."

"I'm so sorry." Olivia said as she placed a kiss to her temple. "So what did he say?"

Alex shook her head, unsure she wanted to tell Olivia everything. "He uh, he said that I'm a Cabot and there are certain things expected of me."

"Let me guess, one of them is not dating you best friend." Olivia said sadly.

"He said he understands that everyone goes through phases as a teen but I'll need to come to my senses eventually." Alex felt her anger returning as she spoke. "He said that I'm to go to college and then marry into a good family. I told him I have every intention of going to college."

"He just doesn't want you to be with someone whose family is violent and cruel."

Alex jerked her head around "No! Olivia he said he thinks the world of you and always has, he just doesn't think that I should be with another girl. He wants me to marry a good man from a good family. Which is code for I need to marry someone from money." She could see the hurt in Olivia's eyes. She placed a hand on Olivia's cheek "Olivia I want you to know I couldn't care less what he says or thinks, I love you."

"I love you too." Olivia whispered. She was battling internally with what she wanted and needed to say. She knew Alex loved her father and looked up to him, she was close to both her parents. Olivia knew she couldn't live with herself if she came between them. "Alex I don't want to cause a problem between you and your Dad."

Alex pulled back and looked at the brunette, she sensed what Olivia was about to say she only prayed she was wrong. "Olivia? What are you trying to say?"

Olivia closed her eyes as tears began sliding down her cheeks "What I'm saying is I won't come between you and your family. If not being with me is what's best for you then I understand. I love you and only want what's best for you, please understand that. I just ask that we can stay friends."

Alex jumped from her girlfriend's lap and began pacing the alley "Olivia what are you saying? Are you breaking up with me?" she could feel her heart beating faster and a pain in her chest.

Olivia stood and stepped in front of Alex taking her hands in hers. "No Alex, no. I'm not breaking up with you. I want to be with you forever. I'm just…" she sighed and hung her head as she thought about what she wanted to say. "I'm just saying I'll understand if you decide your Dad is right and that being with me is not in your best interest. I know I'm not rich or anything. Yeah my Mom makes a decent earning at the university and we live in a nice apartment but I can't give you everything you deserve. And what about later? I want to be a cop, no way I'll make enough to provide what someone who is rich can give you." Olivia wanted to stop talking but it was like the dam had broken and all her fears and insecurities were now spilling out. "I know you want to work for the DA's office and maybe eventually run for higher office. I would only hurt you not help you."

"And just how would you hurt me?" Alex was becoming angrier listening to Olivia put herself down. She knew she would never know the full extent of the damage Serena had done to her daughter but Alex was determined to correct as much of it as she possibly could.

"Seriously Alex? Who is going to vote for someone whose girlfriend's parents are an alcoholic and a rapist?"

"Olivia your parents have no bearing on you as a person!"

Olivia was now pacing with Alex standing still watching her, allowing her time to say what she needed to say. Alex knew this had been gently simmering under the surface ever since Olivia had found out about her conception. She knew it was a matter of time before it finally exploded to the surface, and it looked like today was the day.

"What if I become them?" Olivia said in an almost defeated voice as she leaned against the building and slid down till she was crouched against it.

"You won't."

"But what if I do Alex? What if I become an abusive alcoholic? What if I become violent? How is it going to look for you to be prosecuting the exact kind of person your girlfriend is?" she looked up with a fearful look "What if I become my father?" she took a deep breath "Oh God Alex, I've not hurt you have I? Have I ever forced myself on you?"

Alex crouched down so their gazes met "Olivia how many times have we been together?"

Olivia smiled at the thought "Four."

Alex smiled back "Four wonderful times I might add." She reached out and placed a hand on Olivia's cheek and gently wiped her tears "I want you to know you have never forced me to do anything I didn't want to do. You have always been loving and caring. I have never nor will I ever be afraid of you." as if to make her point she leaned in for a kiss.

Olivia stood and pulled Alex into her arms "I love you."

"I love you too."

Olivia held Alex tight "So what are we going to do?" she whispered.

Alex pulled back and looked into her eyes "We're going to stay together. That's what we're going to do."

It made Olivia's heart swell to know that Alex wanted to stay with her despite her father's disapproval. "Alex are you sure? I don't want to come between you and you Dad."

"Olivia I love my Dad but I love you too. And as much as I want his approval on this I have to do what is right for me. I have to follow my heart and my heart wants you."

Olivia led them back over to the crate they had originally been sitting on. They spent the rest of her break in silence, loving the fact that they could sit together and not have to say a word. As her break neared its end Olivia stood and pulled her hair into a ponytail.

Alex smiled "I like your hair like that."

"Thanks." Olivia said as she took Alex's hand in hers and began walking out of the alley. "I've thought about maybe cutting it, like short."

Alex gasped "No, you can't. I love it, I love running my fingers through it."

Olivia chuckled "I love you running your fingers through it too. I guess since you love it so much I'll hold off cutting it."

They stood in front of the store. Alex looked at her girlfriend with an apologetic look "Liv I'm sorry I came here and bothered you at work. I won't do it again, I promise."

"Hey, hey." Olivia said as she squeezed Alex's hand "You did not bother me. I want you to know you can come to me any time you need to."

"I just don't want to get you in trouble."

"You won't, I promise." She lightly pushed a stray strand of hair behind Alex's ear "Hey what did you tell me years ago?" Alex gave her a confused look which caused Olivia to smile "You take care of me and I'll take care of you."

Alex laughed as she hugged her one more time "Always."

Olivia walked back inside and Alex followed. She noticed a couple of Olivia's coworkers were watching them. She didn't want to get Olivia in trouble, she hadn't had the job very long and she loved what she was doing. Alex also knew that some of the others knew they were together. At first she worried about what others would think but she was finding that the longer time went on the less she cared. To her all that mattered was she loved Olivia and Olivia loved her. She watched as Olivia walked behind the counter and crouched down.

Olivia stood and handed Alex a bag "Here it just came out today and I knew I had to get it for you. It's about Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn." She smiled at the look of excitement on the blonde's face "I also picked out one that is a history of the Supreme Court."

It was all Alex could do to keep from throwing her arms around the brunette. She settled for taking Olivia's hands in her own and squeezing them tight. "Thank you! I can't wait to start reading them."

Olivia looked at the time "I get off in an hour why don't you go to the coffee shop next door and wait for me. We can go get something to eat afterwards." She grinned and leaned in to whisper so no one else could hear her "My Mom is going to dinner with a few of the other professors from work this evening. She won't be home till late." She waggled her eyebrows hoping Alex could take the hint.

Alex felt a shiver run down her spine "I can't think of a better way to spend the evening." she looked around quickly "I love you."

"I love you too. I'll see you in an hour." Olivia watched as Alex headed out before going back to her work. She looked at her watch and shook her head, she couldn't get the images of what she and Alex could be doing in just a couple hours out of her head. Olivia groaned as the image of Alex lying naked in her bed flashed through her mind. It was going to be the longest hour of her life.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Alex and Olivia sat nervously at the bar in the Cabot kitchen. Laura stood across from them leaning against the counter. She had told them that she wanted to talk to them, the lack of information had both teens scared out of their minds. Alex was terrified of what her mom was going to say, she and Olivia had gotten a little more brave when it came to finding time to be alone together and she knew it was going to catch up to them eventually. Olivia was so afraid that Laura was going to put a stop to them seeing each other. One of the conditions of them being allowed to date was that it didn't interfere with either of their grades, and while Alex was still straight A's and Olivia was just shy of straight A's she was afraid the elder Cabot was thinking they were going out to much. They would go out to eat, the movies or just wander around the city. Their friends now knew about their relationship and most were okay with it. Alex had even gone as far as invite Olivia to and end of the year party one of her classmates threw just after school ended. They could tell there were some who looked down on their relationship but they didn't care.

As much as they enjoyed going out together their time alone was what they really cherished. Most of the time it was spent at Olivia's because of Serena being gone so much but they had found time to be alone at Alex's as well. The time they spent alone wasn't always spent in bed, sometimes they enjoyed simply being alone together and enjoying each other's company. When they could be together it wasn't just about sex or getting off, it was about being able to feel one another and loving one another.

Laura watched as both girls sat fidgeting on the barstools. They both had a nervous, terrified look but they were different at the same time. Olivia had a slightly sad look, almost as if she was expecting the worst and trying to prepare herself for it. Alex on the other hand looked nervous but at the same time looked like she was preparing herself for a fight. Laura decided to put them out of her misery.

"How does going to the beach this weekend sound?" she had to laugh at the looks of confusion on the teens faces.

"Huh?" Alex asked as she looked at Olivia to see if she heard the same thing. The look of confusion on the brunette's face meant she'd heard the same thing.

Laura walked over and leaned on the counter in front of them "The three of us are going to the beach this weekend, the Jersey shore. You both ended the year with good grades and I decided that a couple days at the beach would be a nice reward."

"Are you serious?" Alex asked excitedly as she grabbed Olivia's hand.

"How did you know I would be off this weekend?" Olivia asked slightly confused. Now that school was out she was able to work during the day and not just evenings and weekends.

Laura reached out and pat her hand "I called and talked to your boss. I told her I was a relative and I wanted to know if you could have the weekend off and that it was a surprise."

Olivia bit back a few tears, it never failed to amaze her how much Laura cared for her. "Thank you."

"When do we leave?"

"We leave Thursday morning and we'll be back on Sunday afternoon."

They talked a little while longer about their plans before Alex and Olivia headed out to the park. Olivia took Alex's hand in hers as they started down the street. "I was so freaked out at first! I thought for sure she was mad or something."

"Me too! I was ready to fight though." Alex said with a smile and leaned over and pressed a kiss to Olivia's cheek.

They spent part of the afternoon at the park before Alex begged Olivia to go shopping for some new clothes for their weekend at the beach. As they stood in a shop looking through bathing suits neither could keep their eyes off the suits the other was picking out.

"Maybe I should go with this one." Alex said as she held up the skimpiest string bikini she could find.

Olivia's mouth dropped open, she couldn't do anything but picture how Alex would look in it. She was pulled from her thoughts when she felt Alex's lips against her cheek "Huh?"

Alex chuckled "Where'd you go? I don't remember the last time I saw you that glassy eyed." She grinned as a slight blush crept its way across Olivia's face. "Were you picturing what I would look like in this?"

"Uh huh." Between the images in her head and Alex's close proximity Olivia didn't think she could form a word that consisted of more than one syllable.

Alex swat her on the behind as she made her way around the rack to look at more suits. "Maybe I'll have to try it on."

"No don't." she reached out and took the suit from Alex's hand and put it back. "I know what I'll do if I see you in it and I'm just not comfortable having sex in public."

Alex laughed as they headed toward the dressing rooms to try on what they had already picked out. "You've got a point." She turned and gave her a mischievous grin "Maybe we can give it a go in a few years though."

* * *

As they pulled up to the hotel Olivia's eyes widened. While it wasn't the fanciest hotel in the world it was far nicer than she had imagined. She kept looking out at the beach as they headed toward the elevators. She couldn't wait to spend the next few days doing nothing but lounging on the beach with her girlfriend.

Alex was a little surprised that her mother hadn't gotten a suite. While the room was a standard two bed room it was very nice, it just wasn't what Alex was expecting. She sat her bags on the bed closest to the window and groaned as a thought came to mind.

"Problems already Alex?" Laura asked.

"Why didn't you get a room with three beds? At least then you and I wouldn't have to sleep in the same bed."

Olivia laughed as she watched the exchange, she wished she knew what it would feel like to have a relationship with her Mom like Alex had with hers.

"Alex we shared a body for nine months I don't see how sharing a bed for three days is going to kill you."

"God can you be more annoying?" Alex huffed as she lay back on the bed.

Laura turned and winked at Olivia before picking the brunette's bags up and dropping them on the bed next to Alex.

Alex sat up quickly and looked between Olivia and her mom "What are you doing?"

"I'm putting Olivia's bags on her bed." she watched as realization slowly dawned on her daughter's face. She leaned into Olivia and bumped her shoulder "She's so smart but sometimes it takes her a minute."

"You're letting us sleep together?" Alex asked excitedly as she threw her arms around the older woman.

"No, I'm letting you sleep in the same bed. It's two different things."

Olivia was so excited she didn't know what to say. "Thank you, and I promise you nothing will happen."

Laura wrapped her arm around her "I know it won't." she gave Alex a pointed look "I know Alex is brazen enough to try something but I know you are enough of a grown up to not try anything with me in the room."

After unpacking and changing both teens headed to the beach. As soon as they found a spot Olivia pulled her t-shirt off and ran to the water, diving in head first. When she surfaced she looked back at Alex who was smiling brightly "Come on Alex!"

Alex stood in the surf and shook her head no. She felt her breath catch as she watched Olivia stand up out of the water and begin walking her direction. She was wearing a yellow bikini that contrasted perfectly with her skin. "Do you have any idea how hot you are?" Alex asked when Olivia stopped in front of her.

Olivia flashed her cocky grin, the one she knew Alex loved "I have a pretty good idea but I'm not nearly as hot as you are." she allowed her eyes to slowly trail over Alex's body and the blue bikini she was wearing that matched her eyes perfectly. She darted her eyes back up and briefly locked them with Alex's, silently asking permission. She leaned in and lightly brushed their lips together. Neither could help the grin that spread across their faces as they parted. Olivia reached down and took Alex's hand in hers as they headed back up to where their beach towels were spread out.

"Nobody wants to see that."

Both girls looked sideways when they heard the comment coming from the woman sitting just over from them. Olivia looked down slightly to avoid the woman's gaze. Alex however was ready to pounce. "And nobody wants your opinion!" she spat back.

"Alex don't." Olivia whispered as she pulled her down next to her.

Alex bit her tongue. She desperately wanted to say more but Olivia's plea stopped her. She began settling back and took Olivia's hand in hers.

"Ugh, can you believe we have to sit here and see that?" the woman asked her husband.

Alex twisted sideways "No one's making you look over here. If you don't like what you see then don't look." She began smiling and Olivia took a deep breath, bracing herself for what was about to come out of Alex's mouth "You may not like what you're seeing but it sure does seem like your husband's enjoying himself." She said as she nodded toward the woman's husband who was not so discretely adjusting himself.

Olivia seeing they now had the upper hand leaned around and looked to the man "Hey buddy, you do know she's sixteen right?"

Both began laughing as the woman lit into her husband for enjoying what he was seeing while the man was telling his wife to mind her own business.

After spending a couple hours on the beach they went back to the hotel room to change and go out for dinner. They had no intention of telling Laura what had happened but she had a way of knowing when something had happened. It was one thing when adults talked to one another that way but she failed to understand why an adult would talk to two teens like that. She assured them that it didn't matter what other's thought and all that mattered was how they felt about one another.

All three went for a walk along the beach after dinner. Laura couldn't help but smile as she watched the two girls walking hand in hand. She loved Alex more than anything and she couldn't love Olivia more if she had given birth to her herself. Her heart went out to the girl she had always had such a rough home life, which was why she was always more than willing to welcome Olivia into their family with open arms.

Olivia lay in bed listening to the sound of the waves crashing against the shore. She made small talk with Laura while waiting on Alex to finish her nightly routine. Olivia thought to herself that if this is what having a family felt like, then she definitely wanted to have a family.

Alex couldn't fight the spark of excitement that she felt knowing she would get to share a bed with Olivia for three nights. She hadn't been able to sleep next to the brunette since they had told their parents. Yes when they made love they were in the same bed but it wasn't the same as getting to spend all night curled up together. Even when they were kids and started having their sleepovers Alex always felt safe having Olivia next to her, it was a feeling that she was certain would never change.

Olivia grew nervous when she noticed the smirk Alex's face. She braced herself as she watched Alex practically run across the room and jump in bed next to her. She sighed as she felt Alex snuggle up against her. It was as her body began to relax Olivia had the sudden urge to make sure her hands were visible to Alex's mother. She was just beginning to relax when she felt Alex's hand work its way under her shirt and come to rest on her stomach. Olivia couldn't help the squeak that escaped her lips as Alex began lightly caressing her skin.

"Alex." Laura warned, knowing her daughter was up to something.

As much as Olivia hated the loss of Alex's hand on her skin she reached down and pulled Alex's hand back up till it was resting on the outside of her shirt. "Hands in neutral territory Alex."

Alex laughed before leaning in for a goodnight kiss. She made sure it didn't last too long so as not to embarrass Olivia but was long enough to convey all the love she held for the brunette.

The next few days were spent lounging on the beach and taking in the sights. They played putt-putt golf, something Olivia had never done, and spent time simply relaxing on the boardwalk. This is exactly what both girls needed. After all the stress and worry of the past year, from realizing they were falling in love with their best friend to telling their parents to how John and Serena had been handling the news, both were ready to relax and be comfortable to be themselves. While they didn't go overboard with the PDA while at the beach they did find it difficult to keep their hands off one another at times. They also experienced a decent amount of glares and looks from other beach goers, but they also received a few smiles. Their favorite moment was when an elderly woman commented on how cute they were when they walked by her holding hands.

As Laura drove through the familiar streets of New York Alex didn't fail to notice how sweaty Olivia's hand had become in hers. She knew her girlfriend was dreading the end of their weekend as well as returning home to her mother. They were sitting in the backseat of Laura's BMW, Alex curled up against Olivia. As they neared Olivia's building Alex reached down and pulled Olivia's hand to her lips and kissed the back of it.

Olivia smiled, it never failed to amaze her how such a simple gesture from Alex could calm her so much. As the car came to a stop she leaned over the seat and hugged Laura thanking her for the trip. She and Alex stood on the sidewalk after gathering her bags from the trunk. Olivia was holding on to Alex for dear life, she hated that they were going back to reality and wouldn't be able to spend every waking moment together. Even more so she was going to miss waking up and Alex's face being the first thing she saw. It was the best way in the world to wake up in her opinion. "I'm going to miss this." She whispered against Alex's neck.

Alex sighed "Me too. I'm especially going to miss waking up with your hand on my boob."

Olivia blushed slightly at the memory "Hey now, I did that in my sleep. Although I enjoyed it I certainly didn't mean to." She pulled back and grinned "At least it was done unconsciously. I seem to remember you feeling me up and you were wide awake."

Alex chuckled as she leaned into whisper in Olivia's ear, knowing her mom had rolled the window down to eavesdrop "I can't help it if you have the best tits I've ever seen."

Olivia burst out laughing at Alex's wording. "I've got the only tits you've ever seen."

They lingered in one another's embrace for a few more minutes before reluctantly parting, but not without a loving goodbye kiss. They promised to call one another the next day and make plans to get together again.

Olivia held her breath as she neared her apartment door, she only hoped Serena hadn't spent the weekend drinking. When she entered she was surprised to smell diner coming from the kitchen. She took her bags through to her room and was about to head to the kitchen when Serena stepped into the doorway.

"Did you have a nice weekend?"

Olivia took a moment to gauge her mother's mood. Serena appeared to be sober but Olivia knew she needed to proceed with caution. "It was great. We had a lot of fun."

"That's nice."

Okay something was definitely up, Serena was never this happy. Olivia decided to keep up with the pleasantries "How was your weekend?"

"Oh you know the same old end of semester work. I've been looking into possible new course materials for next semester." She was quiet for a moment "I made dinner for us, nothing fancy though. I also made your Grandma's strawberry cobbler you loved so much."

Olivia felt her mouth begin watering at the mention of the dessert she hadn't tasted in years. If it tasted half as good as when her grandma made it she was going to be in heaven. "Thank you."

They sat at the table and had a relatively quiet dinner, only occasionally speaking about how their weekend had been. Olivia spent the entire meal waiting for the other shoe to drop, although she calmed slightly when she noticed Serena was not drinking with dinner.

As they were finishing dessert, after Olivia had a second helping, Serena gave her daughter a small smile "I think Alex is good for you."

Olivia tensed immediately, this was not what she was expecting.

"I know I've probably been very rude about the whole thing but it's only because I worry about how other's will treat you."

Olivia bit her tongue to keep from asking Serena about the way she treats her. She also knew this could be the closest to an apology she may ever get. "How do you mean?"

"Olivia I couldn't care in the least who someone shares their bed with. I do however worry about you as my daughter. I know exactly how evil one person can be to another."

Olivia had to bite back her sarcastic remark of telling her she too knew how cruel one person could be to another. "I can take care of myself."

"I thought that at one time too." Serena's gaze seemed to glass over.

Olivia couldn't imagine what her mother had gone through all these years. "I really do love Alex and she loves me."

"Maybe she does but I just worry about what someone could do to you if they don't like the way you are living your life." she grew silent for a moment "Have you also given any consideration to the fact that there may come a day when she…"

Olivia knew where she was going "I know what you're about to say Mom and we have already discussed it. Alex loves me for me. She doesn't care what other's think and neither do I. We're in this for good."

"As long as you understand what could happen down the road."

"I do."

Olivia spent the rest of her evening unpacking and calling Alex to let her know about the surprise she got when she entered the apartment. Alex was thrilled for her that Serena seemed to be semi okay with their relationship.

Olivia was gathering her things, she had an early shift the next morning. She stopped in the living room doorway and watched Serena as she sat curled up on the sofa reading a book. Olivia noticed the slight tremor in her mother's hand. It broke her heart.

"I'm glad to see you like this."

Serena turned and put on a forced smile "I'm trying."

"That's all I've ever wanted." Olivia thought about what it would be like to have a normal life, a normal relationship with her mother. "Goodnight Mom."

"Goodnight." Serena said as she tried to hide her tremors from the teen.

Olivia climbed into bed breathing a slight sigh of relief. This was the first calm evening she could remember the two sharing in years. Her heart began to sink though as the realization began to sink in that this would not last. Serena had tried to clean up in the past but it never lasted more than a few hours. She could tell by the tremors that she hadn't had a drink in a while. As she began drifting off Olivia decided she would enjoy this peace and calm while it lasted. She smiled slightly, maybe things really would get better.

* * *

**I figured we all deserved a nice, fluffy chapter. I'm glad you're enjoying, I know I'm enjoying writing it. Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoyed!**


	13. Chapter 13

**This one is a little longer but I couldn't stop. Thank you for the reviews of the last chapter. I apologize for the delay in getting this up. I hope to have the next one up as soon as possible. Let me know what you think. Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 13

Olivia enters the apartment completely exhausted. She collapses on the sofa and props her feet up. She had forgotten how tiresome and draining going to school and working could be. The past week had been the first full week back to school and she was thrilled to be home and able to relax. After taking a moment to change and grab a snack she lay back on the sofa with several brochures laid out in front of her. They were now in their senior year and she and Alex had begun exploring their options for college. The only thing they were certain about was that they wanted to go to the same school. They both knew that after graduating college Olivia would be going to the academy while Alex hoped to attend Harvard, which would mean four years apart. They wanted to make sure they were able to be together for as long as possible.

As the exhaustion kicked in Olivia allowed her mind to wander over the summer. It had been one of the best summers she could remember. The best part had been Serena's attempt to stay sober. She wasn't sober yet but she was making an effort. Olivia knew she still drank on occasion but it wasn't an everyday occurrence like it usually was. Even though Serena had made it known she was okay with her dating Alex, Olivia knew there was a part of her mother that still wasn't happy with the relationship.

Olivia also worked more throughout the summer and was saving every penny she could. She wanted to have money to fall back on in the event that her relationship with Serena took a turn for the worse she would have money to find her own place. Even though she was only seventeen at the end of the previous school year she was considering looking for her own place but once she saw Serena was at least making an attempt at staying sober she decided to stay. She and Alex were planning to attend the same school and were discussing getting their own apartment rather than living in the dorm.

Olivia wasn't aware she had fallen asleep when she heard Serena come in.

"Rough day?" Serena asked as she took a seat across from Olivia.

"Yeah, we were busy."

"I'm going to a lecture this evening on nineteenth century English Literature. You're welcome to come along if you want to."

Olivia grinned slightly "As interesting as that sounds I'll have to pass."

Serena smiled at the teen "I know it's not how most teenagers see spending their Saturday nights but I just thought I would ask. I know how much you enjoy reading."

"I appreciate the offer but I haven't seen Alex in over a week and I was hoping we could go out this evening. Maybe even look at these colleges some more." she noticed Serena stiffened slightly but she breathed a sigh of relief when the older woman relaxed.

"Okay." As she was leaving the room she glanced over the brochures "I can't believe you're about to go to college. I assume you are wanting to go together."

Olivia nodded "We hope to."

Serena sighed as she stopped next to her daughter "Olivia I know you don't want to hear this but I really do worry about your relationship with her." Olivia was about to speak but was cut off. "I know you love her and I know you say she loves you, and maybe she really does. What I worry about is that one day she is going to realize that you two being together will not fit into her plans for the future."

Olivia sometimes wondered if Serena and John were comparing notes on their arguments against them being together. "Mom we understand what we could face, and we'll face it together."

Serena simply shook her head and left the room.

Olivia wished that her mom and Alex's dad could understand that they were in this for the long haul. They knew that whatever came their way they could get through as long as they had one another.

Once Olivia knew Serena was getting ready she took the opportunity to call Alex. After talking for a few minutes they decided to meet at one of their favorite diners. She couldn't wait, it had been a little over a week since she had laid eyes on the blonde let alone held her. She took a quick shower and began getting ready, she couldn't wait to see her girlfriend.

Alex was exhausted as she walked toward the diner. If anyone else had asked her to go to dinner she would have said no in a heartbeat, but knowing she was going to see Olivia seemed to give her a boost of much needed energy. Over the summer she had begun working in her Uncle Bill's law office. She didn't need the money but she was now in her senior year of high school and she had plans of pursuing a law degree. She figured this would give her a head start. Most of the work she did was pulling case files and helping research case law. She had been willing to do it as a volunteer just to get the experience but her uncle insisted on paying her. It also meant a little extra cash to add to her allowance. While she saved most of it she loved spending it on Olivia as well, no matter how much the brunette fought against it. Like Olivia she was also holding money back so they could hopefully get into the same school and get their own place.

Olivia leaned against the building as she watched Alex walking toward her, lost in her thoughts. She was certain she had never seen anyone as beautiful as Alex. Olivia loved when she wore her glasses and her hair was down. She was wearing a pair of ripped jeans and a thin, almost see through white t-shirt. She laughed when Alex noticed her and began running toward her.

"God I've missed you." Alex whispered before crashing their lips together. She slid her arms around Olivia's waist and slipped one hand under her shirt and began lightly grazing her fingers across her skin. She sighed into the kiss when she felt Olivia tangle her fingers in her hair.

Olivia gasped for air as she pulled back "I've missed you too."

Both looked up when they heard a whistle "Now that's hot!" a guy yelled while he and his buddy laughed.

Olivia shook her head but began laughing as Alex raised her right hand and gave them both the finger.

Their dinner was far from quiet as they talked about everything that had gone on since seeing each other last. Even though they had talked on the phone everyday it wasn't the same as seeing each other.

"So what do you want to do this evening?" Alex asked as she stole another bite of Olivia's chocolate cake.

"I think I want to get another dessert since you've ate yours plus half of mine." Alex simply grinned. Olivia loved that smile. "I was looking over some of the brochures before I called you, I thought maybe we could look at them together."

"Is your mom there?" Alex asked as they stood and made their way back out to the street.

"No she is at a lecture. She invited me to go but I told her I wanted to see you instead."

Alex knew Serena was making an effort to curb her drinking but she also knew she still wasn't overly thrilled about their relationship. She just never wanted to cause a problem for Olivia. Her relationship with her own father was growing slightly better but it still wasn't where she wanted it to be. Olivia had gone to the Hamptons for Labor Day just like she had every year since they became friends. While he was nice to Olivia both could tell he was less than happy about them being together. Olivia had wanted to keep the displays of affection to a minimum around him but Alex for some reason seemed to increase the amount of touching, holding and kissing that weekend. She had even managed to find time for them to have a quickie without getting caught. While Olivia had been terrified of getting caught they both later admitted the thought of getting caught made it even better. Even though they weren't caught, Alex was pretty sure Laura knew what they had done. Everything had went smoothly until that evening John noticed the hickey on Olivia's neck. What little progress that had been made between father and daughter had been undone in that moment. After that both decided that any marks that were left would be left where they would be covered by clothing.

Later in the Benson apartment they had successfully narrowed their school choices down to three; Sienna, Hudson and NYU.

"I don't know Alex there's something about Hudson I just don't like. I get a weird feeling about it."

"Okay so we're down to Sienna and NYU." She turned and smiled "NYU is a good school but you know if we stay in the city our parents will probably try and get us to stay at home," she leaned in for a kiss "And I'm really looking forward to getting an apartment with you."

Olivia smiled as she ran her fingers through Alex's hair "So I guess we're applying to Sienna, with NYU as a backup?"

Alex nodded before tossing the papers onto the coffee table and straddling the brunette "Now how long before your mom comes back?"

Olivia looked at the clock on the wall "I'd say at least a few hours." She slid her hands low on Alex's hips as she felt the blonde grind against her "What do you have in mind?" Olivia asked as she stood and began carrying Alex toward her bedroom.

"I think you know what I have in mind." Alex said as she slid her hands down and unbuttoned Olivia's jeans.

It wasn't long before Olivia found herself lying on her back with Alex's head between her legs. She tangled her fingers tighter in Alex's blonde hair as she struggled to hold on. "God, Alex." She moaned out as she felt Alex slide a finger inside of her. She increased the pressure on the back of Alex's head pushing her closer. Feeling Alex wrap her lips around the straining bundle of nerves was Olivia's undoing. She threw her head back and arched her back "Oh God Alex!" she gasped for air as Alex slowly brought her down.

Alex slowly crawled her way up and pressed their lips together. "I love you."

"I love you too." Olivia took a moment to catch her breath while Alex lay down next to her. She turned her head to face the blonde "I know we're still kinda new to this, but damn you're good."

Alex laughed as she leaned in for another kiss "Why thank you. Ya know, you're not bad yourself."

Olivia rolled quickly and pushed Alex onto her back, taking a moment to get settled. She looked down into Alex's blue eyes and it took her breath away. The amount of love she always found reflecting there never failed to amaze her. They may only be seventeen but Olivia knew without a doubt that Alex was the love of her life.

Alex stared up into Olivia's eyes as Olivia increased the speed of her thrusts. She gasped as Olivia leaned in and took her breast in her mouth. "Liv please, I need more."

"Are you sure?"

Alex nodded "Please."

Olivia slowly slid a second a second finger in and waited a moment for Alex to adjust. Once she could see Alex was ready she began gently pumping again. She loved being able to watch the expressions that crossed Alex's face as they made love. Olivia knew it was a sight she would never get tired of. She wasn't even aware that she was curling her fingers until Alex screamed. Olivia jumped and instantly froze. "What?! What happened?"

Alex took a deep breath, she wasn't sure what Olivia had just done but she definitely wanted her to do it again. "What did you just do?"

Olivia was beginning to panic "I don't know. Did I hurt you?"

"No, no, that was amazing. I don't know what you did but please do it again."

Olivia thought for a moment "I think I curled my fingers."

Alex began nodding her head quickly "Please do it again."

Olivia slowly began thrusting again and curling her fingers. She finally realized she must be hitting that hidden little spot that was supposed to feel amazing. She only knew about it after hearing about it on a talk show.

Alex cried out as she felt Olivia increase the speed of her thrusts. In all the times they had been together she had never felt anything like she was feeling at that moment. "Oh God…ah Liv. I need…oh God I'm gonna come." She screamed.

Olivia pressed their lips together in an attempt to quiet her. "Alex, baby, you have to be quiet. Mrs. Leary may be old but she has great hearing." Olivia was terrified of her neighbor hearing them through the wall.

Alex reached down and began rubbing the tip of her finger across Olivia's clit "I want you to come with me."

Olivia dropped her head against Alex's shoulder "I'm so close."

In no time they were screaming each other's names as they fell over the edge. It was the first time it happened together and both girls felt as if they were now even closer than before, if that were possible. Olivia lay with half her body on Alex's as they breathed deeply and waited for their heart rate to slow.

Olivia tilted her head as and gave Alex a light kiss. "I love you so much. That was absolutely amazing."

Alex chuckled "Yes it was." She took a deep breath "I hate that I'm gonna have to go home soon."

"Me too, but we can lay here and relax a little longer." Olivia said as she settled in against Alex.

Olivia smiled when she opened her eyes, Alex's face being the first thing she saw was one of the best feelings in the world. She was about to relax back on the bed when she realized it was dark outside. She looked over at her alarm clock and saw that it was just after nine. She began to panic when she realized that she and Alex had fallen asleep after their lovemaking. "Alex. Alex wake up."

Alex sat up "What time is it?"

"Little after nine, my mom will be back soon."

"I'm already back." Serena said as she stood in the doorway to her daughter's room.

A look of sheer panic crossed both girls' faces, Alex's was out of fear for what Serena was going to do to Olivia while Olivia's was out of fear for what Serena could do to Alex.

Alex began quickly pulling the sheet tighter around them as they sat up. She was reaching out for any form of clothing she could find. Olivia's shirt was the first thing her hand landed on and she quickly pulled it over her head. Alex reached to the floor again, thankfully Olivia was a messy person and there was another shirt on the floor. She passed it to the brunette hoping to preserve what little modesty they may have left.

Olivia moved to put herself in front of Alex as Serena walked into the room, still unsure of what her mother was going to do. When she saw Serena stumble Olivia's heart sank, she was drunk. She reached out and pushed Alex behind her even more. This was her worst nightmare coming true.

"What the hell is going on?" Serena slurred as she stepped further into the room.

"Mom…"

"I can't believe you! Is this what has been going on anytime I'm not here?" Serena reached out and grabbed onto Olivia's desk to try and balance herself.

"No Mom it's not, I promise." Just because they were alone together didn't mean they immediately jumped into bed.

Olivia could feel Alex trying to move around her but she kept a hand on Alex's side to hold her back. She had no clue what Serena was going to do, she also had no idea what Alex might do either. She was grateful though when she felt Alex gently take her hand in hers and give it a loving squeeze.

"I would think you could show me a little more respect than this. I have to walk in here and find you two naked and in bed? It's bad enough I know that you two are together but to find you like this?" She began stumbling more as she paced, slowly working her way closer to the bed. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised though, considering your father is a sexual deviant."

Olivia had to fight to keep the tears from her eyes.

Alex's blood was boiling at the words coming from Serena's mouth. She knew what she was about to do was going to add fuel to the fire but she couldn't help herself, and she knew Olivia was hurting. She slid closer and wrapped her arm around Olivia's waist and placed a light kiss to the back of her head.

Serena looked to Alex "How many times has she raped you?"

Before Olivia knew what was happening Alex had jumped from the bed and faced the older woman. "She has **never** raped me! I trust her more than anyone in this world and I know she will never make me do something I don't want to do." Alex knew she should stop but now that the dam was broken she knew there was no holding back "I am so sorry for what happened to you but it is not Olivia's fault, so stop taking it out on her! She had no choice in how she was conceived and she had no choice in being your daughter. I can't wait till we graduate, get our own place and I can take her away from here."

Serena stepped closer but Alex wasn't about to back down "She's mine."

"She may have been yours but now she is mine." Alex stepped closer "And no matter what you say about me and my ambitions, she will always be mine."

"You're just as bad as she is." Serena spat "Now get out of my house," she looked to Olivia "Both of you."

They didn't waste any time getting dressed and grabbing some of Olivia's things.

As they rode the subway to Alex's neighborhood Olivia finally allowed the tears to fall. She had always been afraid of this happening, of Serena and Alex having a confrontation. She was grateful for Alex coming to her defense but at the same time she had been terrified Serena would hit her. Olivia knew without a doubt that if Serena had so much as laid a hand on Alex she would've taken her to the ground. It was one thing when she was abusing her but she wasn't about to allow anyone to harm Alex.

Alex was still holding Olivia as they walked up the steps to her house. She had kept an arm around the brunette's waist on the entire subway ride as well as the walk to her home. Yes Serena's words had hurt her in a way but the angered her more than anything. She could see in Olivia's eyes the damage the words had done. Alex wished that her mom was home this weekend. Of all weekends for her to go to Boston to visit her parents and sister. Alex needed her mother more than ever, and she knew Olivia needed her as well.

John was home and as usual things were frosty between the three. Alex informed him that Olivia would be staying with them for the remainder of the weekend. Once she had Olivia settled in bed Alex called her mother and told her everything that had happened. She was so grateful when Laura informed her that she would leave early in the morning so she could be with them.

Alex knew she probably wasn't helping matters but went into the guest room where Olivia was sleeping and crawled into bed with her. She was pretty sure John saw her enter the room as he topped the stairs but she no longer cared. Olivia was hurting and needed her, which was the most important thing in the world to her at the moment. She pulled Olivia into her arms and allowed her to cry. "I love you Olivia. I'll always love you, never forget that." She whispered as she ran her fingers through Olivia's long hair.

"I love you too." Olivia wrapped herself tighter around Alex, she wished she could melt into the blonde. Being in Alex's embrace was the only time she ever felt safe, it was also when she felt most loved.

"What am I gonna do Alex? What if she won't let me come back? I mean I have money saved up but I doubt very seriously I can get an apartment. I'm only seventeen and most of the time you have to be eighteen to rent an apartment."

"You'll stay here. Mom won't have it any other way." she kissed the top of her head. "It's going to be okay. You're going to be okay Olivia." Alex didn't know how but she was going to make sure this was going to be okay.


	14. Chapter 14

**Sorry for the delay. Thank you for the reviews of the last chapter. This is a fluffy, fun, chapter. I figured they deserved it after the last one. This one also jumps ahead several months. Let me know what you think. As always, I hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 14

The sun shining through the curtains caused Olivia to slowly open her eyes. She shifted slightly and couldn't help the smile that spread across her face when she saw Alex lying next to her. Olivia rolled over and took a moment to watch her sleeping girlfriend, she was relaxed and peaceful. Olivia thought this was when she was most beautiful. She chuckled when she saw the small line of drool running from Alex's mouth. Olivia leaned over and placed a light kiss on her lips and waited for her to wake. As Alex's eyes slowly fluttered open Olivia knew this was a sight she wanted to see for the rest of her life.

"Hey." Alex smiled as she moved a little closer to the brunette. She took a moment to take in how much she loved the girl in front of her before leaning in for another kiss.

"Hey yourself." Olivia said as they parted.

"What?" Alex asked when Olivia began laughing.

"You're drooling."

Alex's eyes widened "I am not."

Olivia took Alex's hand in hers and guided it to her chin and smiled.

Alex pulled her hand back and made a slight face "Yeah well, I'm sure you do it too."

Olivia rolled onto her back and pulled Alex close. She sighed when Alex rested her head on her chest and both relaxed further into the other's embrace.

"Is this how it's going to be once we are in our own apartment?" Alex asked.

Olivia smiled at the thought "Well I doubt we'll be able to sleep till noon very often, but yes this is how it's going to be."

Olivia was now living in her own apartment, and being able to have Alex sleep over was just the icing on the cake to living on her own. After the night Serena had caught them in bed together she spent the weekend at Alex's as she tried to figure out where she was going to go. She had returned home to see if she would be able to live in the same apartment as her mother but she and Serena got into another argument. As Olivia was leaving, unsure of where she was going to go, she ran into her neighbor Mrs. Leary. The older woman had always been kind to her and when she asked Olivia told her what had happened. Olivia couldn't believe it when the woman insisted she stay in her spare room until things calmed down with Serena or she could find her own place. Olivia had tried to resist but Mrs. Leary insisted. She was grateful to her neighbor for letting her stay, it allowed her to be close to school as well as work.

When she turned eighteen Olivia immediately began looking for an apartment, and with Laura's help she found one in her neighborhood that she could afford.

Alex had been allowed to stay over on a few occasions but it was only because Olivia had assured Laura that nothing would happen, and as much as Alex didn't like it Olivia kept her promise. The previous night however was different, it was Olivia's prom night. She had attended Alex's prom and since it was closer they had stayed at the Cabot's that night. She was pulled from her thoughts when Alex began speaking. "I'm sorry, what?"

Alex smiled as she tilted her head so they could look eye to eye. "I said last night was great."

"Yes it was."

"You know my Mom would flip if she knew everything we did once we got back here."

Olivia blushed slightly as the memories of their lovemaking came flooding back. It was not the first time they had been intimate in her apartment but it was the first time Alex wouldn't have to leave afterwards. "You know how I always promise her nothing will happen?" Alex nodded. "Well see here's the thing. She didn't request that nothing happen and I didn't promise nothing would happen. It was a bit of a don't ask/ don't tell. She said that it was prom night and to enjoy ourselves."

Alex groaned and buried her face in Olivia's neck "Oh my God, my Mom knows we had sex and she practically told you it was okay if we did."

Olivia laughed and placed a kiss to her forehead "Alex, sweetie, I hate to break it to you but she knows that we have sex. She's known that for a while. In case you forgot you're the one who told her."

Alex leaned across Olivia and picked an item up from the floor. She grinned mischievously as she held the vibrator up "Yeah but she doesn't know about this."

"And you better not tell her either." Olivia said as she took it from Alex's hand and dropped it to the floor where it had been after they had used it multiple times the night before. She watched as Alex sat up and allowed the sheet to fall, leaving her topless. Olivia loved the fact that Alex felt comfortable enough with her to do that. After the Serena incident, as they had come to call the night she caught them, it had taken Olivia a while to feel comfortable around Alex. Alex had been patient with her and showed her that she wasn't afraid of her or worried that she would rape her. Olivia would forever be grateful to the blonde for helping rebuild the self-esteem that Serena had destroyed.

Olivia was brought back to reality when Alex slid closer so they were sitting facing one another. She leaned in for a kiss, grinning as she pulled back "So I have to know. Where did you get that?" she asked as she nodded toward the floor.

"I bought it in a store."

"Alex. You have to be eighteen to get into stores like that."

Alex grinned "And the fake ID I have says I'm eighteen."

"You got a fake ID just so you could get into a sex shop?!" Olivia asked in disbelief.

"No I just thought it might come in handy sometime. I wanted to get one for us to try and since I had an ID it just made it easier."

"And just how did you know about vibrators?"

"You know my neighbor Spencer?" Olivia nodded. "His older sister Lisa is a lesbian and she's told me a thing or two. I started talking to her about us after we began dating and she helped me a lot." She leaned in closer to Olivia and whispered in her ear "You always wanted to know how I learned to do that thing with my tongue, she told me." she saw the look of confusion and almost jealously cross the brunette's face "Don't worry we didn't do anything she just told me what to do."

Olivia quickly pressed their lips together. "Alex I would never suspect you of cheating on me."

They both laughed when they heard their stomachs begin growling. "I'm gonna see what you have in the kitchen and throw something together." Alex said as she stood and pulled one of Olivia's shirts on. "Then we're going to do something they only do in the movies." Olivia raised an eyebrow "We're going to sit here in bed and eat lunch, naked."

Olivia took a moment to run to the bathroom then settled back in bed to wait for Alex. It never ceased to amaze her how Alex was willing to go out of her way to make her feel special or show her how much she loved her. She glanced around the room, their dresses lying in the floor where they had been hastily discarded the night before and their corsages lying on the bedside table. As she settled back to wait for Alex the memories came flooding back.

_Olivia wasn't sure why she was nervous about Alex attending prom with her, the few friends she had at school already knew about them dating and the rest of the school knew from the rumor mill. While things had been okay at Alex's prom, aside from a few stares and glares, she hoped things would go okay at her own. She had just buzzed Alex up and took a moment to look in the mirror one last time. She had chosen a white sleeveless floor length gown and was wearing her hair up. Even though Alex loved her hair down she had commented before that she loved it when she would wear it up. She had worn her hair down for Alex's prom so she decided to change it up a little for her own. When it had come to choosing a dress she had worried about picking the right one. She couldn't hide the tears when Laura picked her up one Saturday after work and took her dress shopping. She couldn't love Laura more if she was her own mother. The older Cabot woman had treated her more like her child than her own mother ever had. _

_Olivia smoothed her dress one last time when she heard a knock at the door. She grabbed the corsage she had purchased for Alex from the kitchen counter then headed to the door. Even though she had already seen Alex in her prom dress it still took her breath away seeing her in it. Alex had chosen a black one shoulder gown, to Olivia it contrasted perfectly with her skin. _

"_Hey beautiful." Alex breathed as she leaned in for a kiss._

"_Lookin pretty great yourself Blondie."_

_Alex chuckled at the nickname Olivia had taken to calling her from time to time. She had always hated that nickname but there was something about hearing it fall from Olivia's lips that made her love it._

_After putting on their corsages they were about to head out when there was another knock on the door. Olivia was surprised when Laura stepped in._

"_I know we took pictures before you went to Alex's prom, but I wanted to get a few pictures before yours." She said with a smile. _

_Both girls wrapped their arms around one another and smiled for the camera. _

_When they stepped onto the sidewalk both girls gasped at the sight of a sleek town car sitting in front of them. Both turned and gave Laura a confused look, they were expecting her to take them to the hotel where the dance was being held._

"_I didn't think you two would want me hanging around afterwards and I wanted to make sure you would both be safe so I hired a driver for the night. He has driven your father and me on many occasions so I trust him completely. He'll take you to dinner and then to the prom. I told him what time it ends and he'll be waiting for you. If you decide to leave early you can page him."_

_Each girl took turns hugging the older woman and thanking her. _

"_Now I do want you to call me as soon as you're back in the apartment, I don't care what time it is."_

_They enjoyed a quiet dinner before finally heading to the dance. Inside they posed for pictures on the staircase in the hotel lobby, Alex standing behind Olivia with her arms wrapped around her waist. As they made their way into the ballroom both were in awe at the decorations. "Not bad for a public school, huh?" Olivia asked laughingly._

"_They're way better than the ones my school had."_

_Olivia took the opportunity to introduce Alex to a few of her friends who had yet to meet the blonde. Luckily they seemed to be okay with the relationship and seemed to like Alex as well. They danced the evening away and when they needed a break would sit at a table with Olivia's friends, talking and laughing. Olivia loved the fact that her girlfriend fit in so well with her friends. Granted she didn't have a lot of friends but the few she did it was important that they were able to get along with Alex. _

_Just like at Alex's prom there were stares and pointed looks, and even a few comments were made that people didn't think they would hear. Both girls would admit that it did hurt to know people were saying things about them but it only made them stronger knowing they were facing whatever was thrown at them together. And just like would happen when they were out in public there were a few crude remarks made. The worst coming in the form of a guy asking if he could leave with them. He said he would love to join in but if they weren't in to that he would be more than happy just to watch. While Olivia's mouth hung open in surprise Alex gave him her most charming smile and told him no, she wouldn't want him to become jealous that she and Olivia were capable of getting a reaction from one another that he would never be able to get from a woman._

_They had spent the evening dancing to music from the 80's that they had all grown up listening to, to the latest hits. As the evening drew to a close they found themselves wrapped in one another's arms as the first notes of Whitney Houston's I Will Always Love You filled the room. Olivia pulled Alex closer as they danced "Do you have any idea how much I truly love you?"_

_Alex smiled as she placed her lips against Olivia's ear "I've got a pretty good idea. I love you Olivia."_

"_I love you too Alex."_

_When they finished the last dance they headed out to the street and climbed into their waiting car. They remained curled up against one another on the ride back to Olivia's, sharing a few light kisses here and there. Once inside the apartment Olivia pulled Alex to her bedroom. She turned and smiled at the blonde before pulling her in for a searing kiss._

"_We really get to do this tonight?" Alex asked a little surprised. "We have the whole night to do whatever we want?" _

_Olivia nodded "The whole night is ours."_

_Alex reached up and pulled Olivia's hair down and ran her fingers through it as she pressed their lips together again. When the parted she reached for the zipper of Olivia's dress and began sliding it down. "I love this dress. Maybe one day I'll get to see you in a different kind of white dress."_

_Olivia gasped at the thought as she allowed her dress to fall to the floor. She reached out and helped Alex out of hers. She leaned in and began placing light kisses across Alex's neck and chest "You are so beautiful." _

_Alex ran her hands down Olivia's body and pushed her panties down over her hips. She then tangled one hand in Olivia's hair and held her close as she felt Olivia take her breast in her mouth. She was just losing herself in the feel of the brunette's hands and lips on her body when she remembered something. _

"_Liv, baby, stop for a minute."_

_Olivia pulled back as soon as she heard the word stop. "What's wrong?"_

_Alex grinned and kissed her quickly to calm her "I just remembered something I brought."_

_Olivia collapsed on the bed and watched as Alex ran to her bag and pulled an item out before running back over and jumping on the bed next to her._

_Olivia looked at the box in Alex's hand and her eyes went wide with surprise. "Alex, what is this?"_

_Alex laughed "It's a vibrator."_

"_I know what it is. I just…I'm…um…surprised I guess."_

_Alex chuckled at the surprise in her girlfriends voice "It's okay. If you don't want to try it that's fine, we can wait till you're comfortable with one."_

"_No, no it's not that. It's just how did you know we would be doing this tonight?"_

"_I didn't, I just really, really hoped we would be."_

_Olivia laughed at her wording "Well it is prom night and I think it's kinda expected of us to end up in bed."_

"_So you want to give it a go?" Alex asked, her hand poised on the end of the box ready to tear it open._

"_Let's try it."_

_In the early morning hours they lay staring at the ceiling as they struggled to catch their breath "Dear God!" Olivia said as she took another deep breath._

_Alex laughed as she kissed Olivia on the cheek "I think that was one of the best purchases I've ever made."_

_Olivia glanced at the clock on her bedside table "Did you realize it's already four thirty?"_

"_No, I didn't. Of course we've been a little busy for the last few hours." She reached down and pulled the blanket up, covering their sweat soaked bodies. "This has been one of the best, if not the best, nights of my life."_

"_Mine too." Olivia replied as she rolled onto her side so they could face one another. She leaned in for a loving kiss "I love you."_

"_I love you too." Alex said as she drifted off to sleep._

"It looks like you need to go grocery shopping." Alex said as she walked into the bedroom carrying two bowls of cereal.

"I know but I've been too busy this week. Lucky for me I have a girlfriend whose mother worried about me constantly and has made up a few things and brought to me." Ever since Olivia had moved into her own apartment Laura would make up a few meals for her every week and bring to her. Laura had cosigned for Olivia to get the apartment seeing she had just turned eighteen, which entitled her to a key to the apartment. Olivia was no longer surprised to come in from school or work to find dinner for a few days in the refrigerator or food in the cabinets. When she had tried to tell Laura that she could get by on her own the older woman simply told her that while she may not be her mother she is a mother and she worries about her. Olivia finally accepted that Laura would always treat her exactly the same way she treated Alex.

"Well how about we go to the store today? You don't have to work today and my Mom even said that I could stay the night again tonight." She grinned as she took a bite of her cereal "Besides, it'll allow me to imagine what it's going to be like once we're living together."

"You think about us going grocery shopping together?" Olivia laughed as she struggled not to spill her milk.

Alex shrugged "It might sound silly but I can't wait till it's just me and you in our own place doing the simple everyday things. Going grocery shopping, doing chores, it may sound simple but to me it means that we are sharing our lives together."

"And I can't wait." Olivia said with a quick peck to Alex's lips.

After finishing lunch and taking their bowls to the kitchen Olivia reentered the bedroom "I'm gonna need to take a shower before we go out." she waggled her eyebrows "Last night we shared a new first what do you say we share another one?" she pulled her shirt off and nodded toward the bathroom "Join me?"

If this was anything what their lives were going to be like Alex couldn't wait to get started. She jumped from the bed and pulled her shirt off and ran toward the bathroom, grabbing Olivia's hand and pulling her along "Hell yeah!"


	15. Chapter 15

**Thanks as always for the reviews, I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter. Like the previous chapter this one is a bit fluffy, just the mood I'm in. I like when they get to have happy moments. And Little Miss Nicap, since you enjoy fluffy in this story this is for you also. This chapter is also a little bit of an M, for language among other things ;) Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 15

The months following prom seemed to fly by for both girls. They were now living in their own apartment and had just began their first year of college. Alex had graduated valedictorian while Olivia graduated with honors. After graduation, as a gift to both girls, Laura booked them a week at a hotel at the beach. It was the first time either had stayed in a hotel alone, and after a storm that kept them inside all day they were very grateful for the gift.

They spent the summer heading upstate to the school in order to apartment hunt. Alex had wanted them to do it on their own but Laura insisted that she go along to help. After almost a month of searching they found a small apartment not far from campus. Even though the apartment Olivia grew up in was nice it wasn't huge. Alex on the other hand was used to living in a town home and Olivia was concerned the apartment would be too small for her. Alex reassured her that it was perfect, the only thing that mattered to her was that they would be sharing it together.

When it had come time for both to leave for school Olivia was surprised when Serena showed up at her apartment. It seemed that the time they had spent apart after Olivia moved out had helped in slightly repairing their relationship. While Olivia knew they would never have a normal mother/daughter relationship she thought that maybe they could have some semblance of a relationship.

Alex and her father were slowly working to repair theirs as well. John had informed her that he still worried about her and how her decisions would affect her future but he still loved her and always would. She would talk to him on the phone occasionally when she talked to her mother. He had even suggested a couple times that a son of a friend of his was interested in her. Alex was quick to tell her father she had no interest in him and to be sure and tell him that. They never discussed her and Olivia's relationship even though he would ask if Olivia was doing okay. Alex was still upset that he couldn't accept their relationship but she was willing to take whatever she could get.

Alex lay in bed for a few minutes thinking about the day ahead. It was Friday and she and Olivia didn't have class. Laura was also driving up to spend the weekend with them. As much as Alex loved her and Olivia living on their own she did miss her mother. She smiled when she could hear the shower running, knowing Olivia was in there. She climbed from bed and stripped out of her tank top and panties before sneaking into the bathroom.

Olivia stood under the spray and allowed the water to wash over her. She took a moment to look around at her things sharing a space with Alex's. Olivia couldn't put her finger on it but there was something calming and peaceful about sharing an apartment with Alex. She felt grounded and as if she finally had a family.

Olivia jumped when she heard the shower curtain slide back and Alex step in. "God Alex, you scared me!"

"I'm sorry." Alex said as she leaned in for a quick kiss before stepping under the spray. She grinned as she turned and pulled Olivia to her "I just figured with my Mom coming for a visit this would be the last chance we'd have to be alone for three days." she began placing light kisses across Olivia's neck and jaw line before placing a passionate kiss to her lips "And since I am used to our extremely active sex life I'm going to need something to hold me over till she goes home."

Olivia groaned as Alex pushed her against the wall and claimed her lips once again. She had to agree with Alex they did have a very healthy sex life, even for eighteen year olds. She wasn't about to complain though. From their very first time it had never been about sex, it was always about their love for one another. As their love continued to grow it seemed that being intimate with one another only served to deepen their connection.

Olivia was pulled from her thoughts when she watched Alex drop to her knees and spread her legs before running her tongue through her folds. "Oh, Alex!" she moaned as she tangled her fingers in blonde locks.

Alex grinned up at her girlfriend "You are soaked!"

"Please Alex!" Olivia could never understand how Alex could get her so close, so quickly. She cried out when she felt Alex wrap her lips around her little straining bundle of nerves and slide two fingers in quickly. In no time Olivia was calling Alex's name like a prayer.

Alex slowly brought Olivia down, making sure to keep one arm wrapped around her to keep her from falling. When she finally stood she couldn't help the smug smile that crossed her face when she saw the dazed look on Olivia's face.

"I love you, I love you." Olivia whispered as she pulled Alex close for a kiss. She wasted no time in turning Alex so she was back against the wall and pining her there. "Now your turn Miss Cabot." She slid her hand down the blonde's body and grinned when she felt how wet she was. Olivia quickly slid two fingers in and began pumping at a frantic pace, curling her fingers as she did so, knowing how much Alex enjoyed it.

"Oh fuck yes!" Alex called out as she came crashing over the edge. She held onto Olivia with everything she had as she slowly came down. They shared a slow, passionate kiss "I love you Olivia. God I love you."

Olivia began looking around as if she was listening for something.

"What?" Alex asked.

Olivia grinned "I was waiting for the knock on the wall from the neighbors." She and Alex both began laughing at the memory of their neighbor knocking on the wall one night after an extremely passionate round of lovemaking.

"Well it is morning after all, they're probably gone."

After taking a few minutes to calm down they quickly washed before getting out to start their day.

Less than an hour later there is a knock at their door. Alex rushed through the apartment and opened the door pulling her mother in for a tight hug.

"I've missed you so much!" Laura said as she took a moment to look her daughter over. She then reached out for Olivia and hugged her as well "I've missed you too."

They went to the kitchen where Olivia has fixed lunch for them, they use the opportunity to catch up before both girls have to go to work. Olivia is working in a bookstore like she did in high school while Alex is working in a law office owned by a friend of her uncle.

"Olivia and I should be back around six." Alex said as she and Olivia prepared to leave. "There's a spare key on the wall in the kitchen if you want to go out." She stopped short when she noticed Laura was staring at them both with tears in her eyes. "What?"

Laura walked over and placed a hand on each of their shoulders "I just can't believe how grown up you two are." She knew Olivia had to grow up faster than Alex because of her home situation but she could see a growth and maturity in both girls.

As Alex is walking out of the office building where she works she is surprised to see Olivia waiting for her. "Hey, what are you doing here?"

"It was really slow so I cut out a few minutes early and decided to see if I could walk my best friend home."

Alex smiled and kissed her on the cheek "I'd love that but what will your girlfriend say?"

Olivia chuckled "She's a great girl, I think she'll be okay this one time."

They had just made it to the end of the block when they heard Alex's name being called.

"Hey Alex, you forgot this book." A young man about their age said as he handed the book to the blonde.

Alex smiled "Thanks." She pulled Olivia closer and smiled "Derek this is my girlfriend Olivia Benson, Olivia this is Derek Thompson he's pre law also."

Olivia extended her hand "Nice to meet you."

Derek smiled "It's nice to finally meet you too. Alex has told me a lot about you."

"All good I hope."

Derek smiled "I've never seen someone look as happy as she does when she talks about you."

They talked for a few minutes before Alex and Olivia were about to turn and leave. Derek stopped them "Hey a few of us are going out for pizza and bowling tonight. Why don't you two join us?"

Alex gave him a sympathetic smile "It sounds like fun but my Mom is visiting us this weekend and we're spending it with her."

"Hey no problem. Maybe another night."

Both girls agreed before saying goodbye and heading home.

As they walked down the hallway the closer they got to their apartment they both picked up the scent of food. Alex sniffed the air "Oh my God, please tell me that is coming from our apartment."

Laura laughed as both girls practically tripped over one another trying to get to the counter. "I thought you two could do with a good home cooked meal."

"Did I ever mention how much I love you?" Olivia asked as she took a seat at their tiny table.

"You've mentioned it once or twice." She began dishing up the lasagna she had made for them. "Olivia I also know how much you love key lime pie so I made one for dessert." After fixing their plates she pulled up a stool from the corner and sat down to eat. "I also went shopping today." She looked back and forth at both of them "When was the last time you two went shopping? Your cabinets and refrigerator were practically empty."

"We have milk and cereal, Mom."

"And just how are you supposed to live on that?" Laura turned to Olivia "What do you two do for dinner, order pizza?"

"No, on the evenings that were both home I fix dinner. On the nights that we don't get in till late we might order in or heat up something frozen."

"Alex, why don't you cook?"

Olivia almost choked on her soda "Are you serious? Alex can't boil water."

"Hey now!" Alex said as she lightly kicked Olivia under the table.

Olivia laughed "I'm sorry sweetheart but its true." She turned to face Laura "If it wasn't for the microwave we wouldn't have a hot meal unless I fix it. Granted my cooking skills aren't the greatest but my Grandma taught me a few things and I've taught myself a few things."

They spent the rest of the evening talking and watching a movie. When it came time to go to bed Olivia offered to sleep on the sofa and Laura could take the bed. This drew an almost death glare from Alex and a chuckle from Laura. The elder Cabot informed Olivia that she was more than okay to sleep on the sofa for a few nights.

The next day both girls had to work again. They told Laura what time they would be home and that they would be treating her to dinner that evening.

That evening as Olivia walked down the hall toward their apartment she couldn't help but smile when she saw Alex standing outside the door flipping through the mail. She loved the simple everyday things such as checking the mail, grocery shopping, or simply sitting curled up on the sofa and not having to worry about someone coming in and catching them. Even more so it was the feeling of coming home and feeling safe and loved, it was a feeling she rarely had growing up.

"Hey baby." Olivia whispered as she walked up behind Alex and wrapped her arms around her waist.

Alex squealed in surprise but quickly turned and kissed Olivia welcoming her home. She put the key in the door and pulled the brunette in behind her. She smiled when she saw her mother sitting on the sofa "Hey Mom. If you give us a little time to wash up and change we'll go to dinner."

"That sounds nice."

Olivia stopped and watched the older woman "What did you get into today?"

"I went ahead and fixed up some things for you two, you have nice home cooked meals that can be heated up in the microwave. So even though Alex might fix dinner at least it'll be homemade. I also made some cookies for you as well."

"Thank you." both girls said at the same time.

"I also cleaned up a little around her for you."

Alex glanced around the apartment "I know we're not neat freaks but I think it's pretty clean. Even Olivia isn't as messy as she used to be." She laughed when she felt Olivia's hip bump against hers.

"I'm just saying you should probably pick up a little better after yourselves." Laura smirked as she reached down beside her and held up and item.

Olivia's eyes went wide as she fell back into the chair, she knew she was blushing by the fact it felt like her neck and face was now on fire. Alex on the other hand while embarrassed was ready to kill her mother. "Mom! Were you snooping?!" Alex almost shouted as she stared at the neon pink vibrator in her mother's hand.

"No Alex I wasn't snooping, I would never do that. I was straightening up and decided to run the vacuum. It was just under the edge of the bed, I saw something and bent over to get it. Trust me after seeing it I really wished I hadn't."

Alex walked back over to Olivia and knew by the burn of her skin that she was blushing just as bad as her girlfriend. It wasn't like it was the first time they had used toys but it wasn't like Alex wanted her mother to know about it.

"Look Alex I'm sorry I didn't mean to find it and trust me if I could turn back time I would. Just knowing you two live together means I know you two do things I don't want to think about, I really don't want visual aids to go with the images." She looked to Olivia who was still blushing furiously "Olivia I really am sorry. I just thought that if you guys had the guts to buy one you would be okay with a joke about one."

"It…It's okay." Olivia managed to stammer out. While she was wishing a hole would open up and swallow her she couldn't blame Laura.

"If you want to use things like this it's perfectly normal. I mean, I have one too."

Alex was grateful to be standing in front of Olivia because with those words her legs gave out and she collapsed into her lap. "Mom, stop!" Alex shook her head trying to remove the thought of her mom using a vibrator from her mind.

After taking a moment to gather themselves enough to stand up both girls headed toward their room. Alex stopping long enough to grab the item from the sofa. Once in the privacy of their room they looked to one another. Suddenly Alex began laughing.

"What are you laughing at?"

"I just thought, it's every parent's worst nightmare to find their child and their partner's sex toy lying around." She said as she placed it in the drawer in her bedside table.

Olivia shook her head "Well it's your fault she found it. If you had just put it back after using it on me the other night this wouldn't have happened." She took a deep breath "You realize I'll never be able to use it on you again, right?"

"Why?"

"Alex your Mom was holding it in her hand. I can't use it on you or have you use it on me. All I'll be able to do is picture her with it."

Alex ran her hands up and down Olivia's arms "But it's my favorite." She pouted.

"Alex." Olivia warned. She had figured out years ago that when Alex used that look she would give her whatever she wanted. She remembered warning the blonde once that whomever she ended up spending her life with would be in trouble anytime she used that face. Little did Olivia know at the time she would be the one to end up with Alex.

Alex shrugged and placed a chaste kiss to Olivia's lips "Okay, I understand. I guess I'll just have to use it on myself and you can watch." She said as she turned and headed to the closet to find something to wear.

The ride to the restaurant was slightly awkward but by the time their dinner came all three were laughing and talking like nothing had ever happened. After dinner they went out shopping for a while before going home to talk and just spend time together.

Sunday morning came all too quickly for Alex and Olivia. While they loved living on their own they both missed Alex's mother. Laura fixed them breakfast that morning so they could spend just a little more time together. When it came time to leave they stood next to Laura's BMW as she pulled each girl in for a long embrace. She hated leaving them but she also knew they were now adults and had their own lives. "If you need anything, anything at all just call me. It only takes a couple hours to drive up here."

"We know Mom. I love you." Alex whispered as she struggled not to cry.

"I love you too angel."

Olivia stepped closer "I love you."

"I love you too sweetheart."

They waited until she had driven out of sight before turning to one another. "I'm really going to miss her." Alex said.

Olivia wiped her tears "Me too." She smiled "Hey what do you say we go for a walk, maybe head to the park."

"I think that sounds perfect."

They ran upstairs and packed a few items for a picnic. They walked downstairs and headed toward the park, Alex taking Olivia's hand in hers as they did so. She turned to look at Olivia and smiled at the look of love she saw reflecting in her girlfriend's eyes. They were both so wrapped up in one another that neither noticed the pair of eyes that were watching them. The same eyes that had been watching Alex for a while now.


	16. Chapter 16

**Surprise! I never expected to get a new chapter written today, let alone posted. Thank you for your response to the last chapter. I have to admit I cracked myself up a few times writing it. I also know you were surprised at the ending. I know this story started out as one shots but it has taken on a life of its own and taken a direction I never imagined it would. Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 16

Christmas in New York was always one of Olivia's favorite times of year. She loved the sights and sounds, the twinkling lights. She and Alex had returned to the city for the holiday as well as New Years. They were staying at the Cabot's and both were surprised when John didn't seem to upset at them sharing a room together. Olivia figured deep down he wasn't happy about it but wouldn't say anything to avoid a fight at Christmas.

Olivia grew nervous as she walked down the familiar hallway. She had called her mother once she was back in town to see how she was doing. She was surprised when Serena asked if she would be coming by. Part of Olivia didn't want to go but at the same time she felt as if she should. It was now Christmas evening and after spending the day with Alex she figured it was time to visit her mother.

They sat and talked but it was quite and slightly awkward. Olivia was debating leaving when the next words from Serena's mouth stopped her.

"Olivia I'm sorry." Olivia turned to face her with a stunned look. "I'm sorry for the way I treated you and Alex the night I found you two in bed. I'm sorry for the things I said as well."

"It hurt Mom, it hurt a lot." Olivia said as she struggled not to cry.

"I know it did Olivia and that's why I wanted to apologize to you. I never should've said the things I said and if I hadn't been drunk I probably wouldn't have said them." she placed a hand on Olivia's arm "I hope one day we'll be able to have a somewhat normal relationship."

Olivia smiled as a few tears ran down her cheek "Maybe we can Mom, maybe we can."

Later in the week they were sitting at the table having dinner. The conversation flowed easily and Alex thought that maybe her father was slowly coming around. Just as they were finishing dessert John spoke up. "Alex, that young man I was telling you about asked if you would be interested in going out to dinner or coffee while you're home."

Alex took a deep breath to keep her cool. She looked to Olivia and saw the mixture of anger and sadness on her face. She quickly stood and grabbed Olivia's hand pulling her along with her. "Unbelievable Dad, unbelievable!"

They stayed in Alex's room the remainder of the evening with only a short visit from Laura to make sure they were okay. For Alex it was bad enough when her father would mention it over the phone but to mention it in front of Olivia, Alex wouldn't stand for that. She waited until Olivia was asleep and slowly eased herself from the brunette's embrace. She walked down the stairs to her father's office. She remembered the day she confronted him about his reaction to her and Olivia's relationship. She had been nervous that day but she wasn't any longer, she didn't even bother to knock she simply walked in.

"What the hell is your problem Dad?" Alex asked as she stormed in.

"Watch your language young lady."

"Not until you watch yours. I can't believe you have the nerve to bring that boy up in front of Olivia! You know the childhood she had, always being made to feel like she wasn't good enough. I've managed through the years to rebuild some of that self-esteem and here you go and in a roundabout way tell her that she's not good enough."

"Alex I know you don't believe me but I do love Olivia and I think she is a wonderful person, I just don't think you two are suited for one another. He is a good man and comes from a good family, he would make an excellent husband. Like you he's planning on going to law school. You two would be a perfect match for one another."

Alex clinched her fists together in an attempt to keep her anger at bay "I already have a perfect match and her name is Olivia!" she turned and headed toward the door "I don't care what you say or what you do, Olivia and I will be together for the rest of our lives!" As she storms out of the office and heads back to her room she finally allows the tears to fall. Once back in her room she strips back down to her t-shirt and climbs back in bed with Olivia. She sighs when she feels Olivia roll over and pull her into her arms.

"I missed you, I can't sleep without you." she mumbled as she snuggled closer "I love you."

"I love you too." Alex whispered as she melted further into Olivia's embrace.

They spend the last couple days before New Year's visiting with friends and shopping. They even go and visit with Serena and have dinner with her one evening. Olivia was nervous about how it would go but the evening went quite well, and even ended with a few tears when Serena apologized to Alex for her behavior.

The entire time they were out and around the city neither noticed the person watching Alex.

Like they do every year the Cabot's threw a New Year's Eve party. Alex wasn't too big on the idea of attending but decided she would since Olivia wanted to go. They spent the evening mingling with guests, many commenting on remembering them both from when they were kids and a few even commenting on how cute they were as a couple.

Olivia, who was drug off by Laura to be introduced to a few friends, continues to turn and watch Alex as her father tells people about her plans to one day be a prosecutor. She smiles shyly each time Alex flashes one of her bright smiles. Even across the room she can feel Alex's love for her. She knows Alex isn't thrilled to be standing with her father at the moment but both were raised with better manners than to air family problems in public.

Alex is pulled from her thoughts of her girlfriend when she hears her father call her name "I'm sorry?"

John smiles and places a hand on her shoulder "It's okay." He turns and smiles at the man standing next to him "Alex this is my friend Jeff, we went to law school together. Jeff this is my Alex."

Alex extends her hand "It's nice to meet you."

Jeff chuckles "You as well Alex. We meet once but you were just a baby then. You have grown into a lovely young woman. Luckily you look like your Mom." He said as he pat John on the shoulder.

"Yes, thank God she looks like her mother."

"So I hear you're planning on being an attorney Alex. Prosecution?" Jeff asked.

"Yes, that's the plan right now. I am currently attending Sienna and plan to go to Harvard Law."

"Harvard is a good school, it served your father and I well." Jeff said with a smile. "So Alex, I've heard my son has been interested in meeting you."

Alex tensed immediately, if she had known Jeff was the friend her dad was always referring to she wouldn't have stuck around past the introduction. She looked over and shot Olivia a pleading look and was grateful they were able to read each other's mind when Olivia immediately began walking toward her. She looked to her dad and was ready to explode but refused to embarrass herself or Olivia in front of her parent's friends. She breathed a sigh of relief when Olivia stepped next to her. Alex reached out and took Olivia's hand in hers and smiled when Olivia squeezed it. She turned to Jeff who had a bit of a confused look. "I'm flattered that your son is interested in me, I really am, but I am with someone." She smiled and pulled Olivia closer "This is my girlfriend Olivia, and we are in a committed relationship." She looked to both men "Now if you'll excuse us."

Both girls said goodnight to Laura then headed upstairs. After changing out of their dresses Alex begins laughing.

"What are you laughing at?" Olivia asked while pulling on her pajamas.

Alex walked over and wrapped her arms around Olivia's waist and smiled when Olivia wrapped hers around her neck. Alex loved the slight height advantage she had over the brunette. "I was just remembering that New Year's Eve when we were eleven and we shared our first kiss."

Olivia laughed "That is one of my favorite memories." She leaned in to whisper in Alex's ear "Since we're here in your room maybe we should reenact it, especially since we know what we're doing now."

Alex shivered at the feel of Olivia's breath on her skin "Well we've had plenty of practice." She led Olivia over to her bed and sat down on the end with Olivia across from her. Just like they did then Alex smiled "Ready?"

Olivia nodded and as they heard the crowd calling out downstairs she leaned in and pressed their lips together. Unlike the first time she felt a tingle down her spine, the same tingle she always felt when they kissed. She moaned when she felt Alex deepen the kiss and press her tongue against her lips, which Olivia willingly allowed entrance. She quickly knew where things were headed when she felt Alex sliding her tongue against her own. She gently pulled back and smiled "Was something supposed to happen?"

Alex laughed as she remembered Olivia asking the same thing the first time. Alex took Olivia's hand in hers and placed it over her heart, it was almost pounding out of her chest. "This is what happened, it's what happens every time we kiss."

"I love you Alex."

"I love you too." Alex said as she pulled the covers down and settled them down into bed.

* * *

A week later they were back home and back to their lives. Both were working extra before the beginning of the semester to save up some money. Alex walks into the library at the law office she is working at to pull a couple law books for one of the attorneys she helps. She smiles when she sees Derek pulling a couple books as well. "I think we'll have the content of these memorized by the time we go to law school."

Derek laughs as he loads a few books onto a cart "I know what you mean. Hey a bunch of us are going out Friday, kind of a pre semester party. Would you and Olivia like to join us?"

"Let me call her and ask." She stepped over to use one of the phones to call Olivia. After a short call she turns and smiles "She said its fine with her."

"Great! I'll let you know all the details later in the week."

Later that evening Alex practically drags herself up the stairs to their apartment. She knows Olivia should be home just anytime and is trying to figure out what they could have for dinner. She instantly smiles when she saw the bouquet of roses sitting outside their door. She picks them up and heads inside to read the card. She's a little surprised, Olivia usually doesn't get her roses usually she gets a variety of flowers. Alex doesn't care though, its little gestures like this that lets her know how much Olivia loves her. She opens the card to read it as she hears Olivia's key in the door.

Olivia walks in and sees Alex holding the flowers "Who are those from?" when she notices the shocked look on Alex's face she immediately dropped her book bag and walked to her girlfriend's side. Alex hands the card to Olivia. Olivia is still confused but looks down to read the card in her hand.

_We would be great together. I wish you would give me a chance._

_PS: By the way you looked great when you were studying in the diner. Blue is definitely your color."_

It wasn't signed. Olivia looks up and sees a matching shocked expression on Alex's face. She then allows her gaze to fall to the blue cashmere sweater she had given Alex for Christmas. Olivia felt her stomach drop to the floor. It appeared Alex had a secret admirer, she apparently also had a stalker. She noticed the look of shock was changing to a look of panic. Olivia immediately pulled Alex into her arms "It's okay, it's going to be okay."

Secretly Alex is terrified but she begins to calm once she is wrapped in Olivia's arms. She takes a few calming breaths before pulling back. She notices Olivia is giving her a questioning look "I'm okay Olivia. I promise."

Olivia knows Alex is putting up a brave front but she can see the fear in her eyes. She's scared too but she vows to be strong for her girlfriend. "Are you sure?" Alex nods. "Okay." She places her hands on either side of Alex's face and places a light kiss to her forehead "I'm going to protect you no matter what. I'll never let anything happen to you."

Alex smiled "I know you won't but I don't think it's that serious. It's probably just a secret admirer who may not realize that I'm with someone. It'll be okay." She kissed Olivia quickly before pulling back "I'm going to go see what we have I can heat up for dinner."

Olivia nods but is still worried. She hopes Alex is right and it's just someone who doesn't know their together. She's about to go change clothes but decides to pull the curtains first. She takes a moment to look down at the street and the few people going about their evening. She closes them then goes to their bedroom.

Across the street in the shadows a pair of eyes narrow, their owner knowing this may be more difficult than they thought.

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**I'm sure you were expecting to find out who was watching Alex but your going to have to wait a little longer. I know, I'm awful. I have dropped a few hints as to who it is though.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Surprise again! First off, you guys are awesome! Thank you so so much for the reviews. Well, this is the chapter you've been waiting for. Of course you may not like me by the end either. I did give you a few happy moments though. Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 17

It had been a little over a month since Alex had received the bouquet of roses. She hadn't received any more flowers but she had received a box of candy along with a few notes. The notes were never signed and neither girl recognized the handwriting. Olivia begged Alex to go to the police but Alex always refused, she said the notes were not threatening and that she wasn't afraid. Olivia knew Alex was continuing to put up a brave front but she knew the blonde was scared. Her sleep had become restless and she was now having nightmares on occasion. When Alex would wake her up from tossing, turning and whimpering she would just hold her closer and whisper words of comfort and how much she loved her.

The idea of Alex having a stalker had made Olivia even more protective over Alex than she already was. They had one class together and a separate class that met at the same time. The remaining classes met at different times. This was when Olivia would begin to worry, especially since one of the classes met in the evening. She always made a point to meet Alex at the school to accompany her home. She hated when she had to work past the time Alex's class ended. Any time they were out Olivia seemed to constantly be keeping an eye on everyone around them. If they were walking and someone was getting to close Olivia would pull Alex close to her, she made a point to walk between Alex and the street. She knew she would do anything to protect Alex.

Alex was grateful for Olivia's protectiveness but it was getting to be a little too much, she was beginning to feel smothered. She and Olivia had been inseparable for over ten years and she had never felt smothered by the brunette but now she was getting to that point.

As Alex moved about the apartment she grew more irritated. She had mentioned going out but Olivia wanted to stay in and watch a movie. Even though it wasn't spring yet they'd had a few warm days. Alex walked over to open one of the windows for some air when Olivia told her that maybe it wasn't a good idea. This was the last straw for Alex.

"Liv, nobody's going to scale four stories to get into our apartment!"

"Alex I don't care if you open a window, just don't open the one on the fire escape. What if whoever this person is decides to sneak in here? You gotta realize this person is crazy!" she steps to intercept Alex who was now pacing. She reaches out for Alex's hand and is surprised when Alex pulls away.

"Just back off Olivia."

"Alex I'm just trying to protect you." Olivia pleads.

"I know you are Olivia and I appreciate it more than I could ever say but you are driving me crazy! Whoever this person is, this is what they want. They want me scared, worried, afraid to leave my apartment. Well I'm not afraid." She walked over to the chair beside the door and grabbed her coat off of it "I need some space Olivia." She noticed the scared look on her girlfriend's face and immediately knows what Olivia is thinking "Olivia I'm not leaving you or anything like that. I just need some time alone."

"I'll go out then. Just please…" she was about to break down "Just please don't go out. I know I sound like I'm crazy but I just don't want anything happening to you. Alex I don't know what I'd do if something was to happen to you."

Alex felt her heart break. She had often thought about what if something was to happen to Olivia, especially once she joins the force. She knew she would never survive. She finally nodded "Okay. If it will make you feel better then you go out and I'll stay here." She pulled Olivia in for a hug "I want you to know it's nothing to do with you I just want some time to think. That's all."

Olivia gave her a soft kiss "I'll be back in a while. I love you."

"I love you too."

Olivia didn't go far. She walked up and down their block a few times before crossing the street to the market across from their apartment. She walked in and picked up a small bouquet of tulips, one of Alex's favorite flowers, and a pint of her favorite ice cream. As she left the market she looked up and realized that she had a perfect view of their living room window. She wondered how many times the person watching Alex had stood in this very spot and watched their window. The thought sent a chill down her spine.

The next morning both are feeling less stressed after getting their feelings out in the open as well as having a little time to themselves. Its Saturday morning and the first one they've both had off in months. They are still lying in bed when the phone rings. It's Laura calling to check up on them. They lay close together with the phone between them so they can both talk to the older woman. Olivia had been begging Alex to tell her parents but she refuses. Laura is able to tell something is wrong though.

"Mom its nothing." Alex sighs.

"Alex I can tell something is bothering you and I can tell its bothering Olivia too."

Alex looks to Olivia who simply takes her hand and nods. "Um, would you mind putting Dad on the phone too?"

They wait until John has picked up the other line before Alex begins and tells them everything that has happened. Both her parents immediately begin asking them to come home and when they decline Laura says she will come up and stay with them for a while.

"Mom I'm not letting someone run me out of my home and we don't need you to come up here and give up your life and time just to babysit me. I'm fine and as long as I have Olivia I always will be." She smiles when Olivia slides closer to her. She took a deep breath before continuing "I have a feeling it's Jeff's son who's doing this. Dad will you please call him and ask him to have his son back off?"

"I'll do it as soon as I hang up." he grew quiet for a moment "Alex I'm sorry about all this. I want you to know I didn't approach him about dating you, he approached me. I told him you were seeing someone but I shouldn't have let him believe he could possibly have a chance. I wish now I would've told him that you wouldn't be interested."

The four continued to talk a little longer before ending their conversation. As they were about to hang up John asked if he could talk to Olivia privately. Alex went to the kitchen to allow them some privacy.

"Olivia I know you probably don't think very highly of me but I want you to know that there is no one else in this world that I trust more to take care of Alex than you."

Olivia is too shocked to say anything.

"Olivia you are a good person, I've always thought that. I am also glad you came into Alex's life, she's a better person because of you."

"Uh…um…thank you sir."

"Olivia you've been calling me John since you were eight years old don't stop now."

Olivia smiled "Okay."

"Now I'm going to call Jeff and put an end to this." He sighed "I don't have to tell you how stubborn and hard headed Alex is." Olivia laughed "If this doesn't stop I want you to call me immediately. I know she'll get mad at you but I trust your judgment."

Olivia walked into the kitchen with a stunned look on her face.

Alex was afraid to ask what her dad had said but at the same time she wanted to know "Liv?"

Olivia smiled as tears pooled into her eyes "He said he trusts me to take care of you." she wiped her eyes "I think he might be coming around. I think he's finally accepting us as a couple."

Alex threw her arms around Olivia and laughed, as upset and worried as she was about her current situation this was the best news she had heard in a while.

That night they decided to go out with a few of their friends from school. Alex watched Olivia as her eyes continued to shift around the rest of the bar. She knew that Olivia was going to be an excellent cop if she was already skilled in watching others. She stands and pulls Olivia up with her "Dance with me?"

"Always." Olivia says as she allows Alex to lead her to the dance floor.

They dance until they feel like they can't stand any longer. They head back to their table and collapse into their chairs, grabbing their drinks.

"So who was the hot guy?" Alex's friend Shannon asked.

"What hot guy?" Alex asked as she grabbed on of Olivia's fries.

"You didn't see him?" both girls shake their heads no.

"Come on Shannon, haven't you realized by now when they're around each other it's like no one else exists." Her boyfriend David replied.

Shannon shook her head "The tall guy with dark hair. Incredibly handsome, no offense David."

The rest of the group laughs but Alex begins scanning the crowd. She doesn't see anyone but when Shannon points out where he had been standing Olivia jumps up and begins making her way across the bar looking for him. None of their friends know about the stalker and Alex wants it to stay that way.

When Olivia returns to their table Alex says that she is ready to go. They say their goodbyes and head out. Just as they make it to the corner of the building Alex turns quickly and pushes Olivia against the brick, pressing their lips together in a heated kiss.

"What was that for?" Olivia panted.

"Because you being all protective is hot." She kisses along Olivia's jaw till her lips are brushing her ear "It's hot as hell."

Olivia is struggling to not take Alex right there on the street. She takes a deep breath to calm her libido. "Alex, what if he's watching us? What if he's out here?" she asks as she looked up and down the street.

"I hope he is, that way he'll know I'm taken." She pressed a few kisses to Olivia's neck before biting down on a sensitive spot. "I love you."

Olivia let out a yelp "Then how about you take me home and show me how much you love me."

Monday evening Alex is home alone while Olivia is at work. She knows Olivia's shift ends soon so she decides to order some takeout for them. She had just hung up when the phone rang. "Hello?"

"Hey Alex, its Derek."

"Hey, what's up?"

"I was calling because you left your sweatshirt here at the office today. Do you need it or do you want me to put it up till tomorrow?"

Alex knew she had forgotten something when she left that evening, and it was her favorite sweatshirt she'd stolen from Olivia. "Um… I really would like to have it." she was quiet for a minute. "Hey Olivia's shift ends in less than half an hour. Would you mind meeting her at the bookstore she works in?"

"No I don't mind at all. She works at the bookstore over on Second right?"

"Yeah. I'll call her and tell her to meet you on the corner. Thank you."

"No problem."

Alex placed a quick call to Olivia to let her know what was going on. After hanging up she straightened up the apartment a little then settled on the sofa to do a little studying before Olivia came home. They had both woken up in quite a playful mood but didn't have time to act on it. Alex knew they would be lucky to finish their dinner before they would be falling into bed.

Olivia was beginning to grow impatient waiting for Derek to show up. If it wasn't for the fact she would do anything Alex asked her to she would've already left. The longer she waited the more she allowed her mind to wander over the few bits of information they had about who was watching Alex. Suddenly her mind began turning. She ran to the payphone and dialed a familiar number, it was the first time in several years she was glad John answered the phone.

"Olivia, is something wrong?"

"What is Jeff's last name?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Your friend Jeff, his son is interested in Alex. What is his last name?" she rushed out.

Her heart leapt into her throat when she heard the name. She hung up without saying goodbye and took off toward their apartment as fast as she could run.

Alex stood and grabbed the money from her purse when she heard a knock at the door. She opened it and her blood ran cold, she wished desperately Olivia was at home. "Derek."


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

"Derek. Wh…wha…what are you doing here?" Alex asks while trying to keep her voice calm.

He smiles and holds out her sweatshirt. "I waited for Olivia but she never showed, I guess she got held up at work or forgot. I figured I would just go ahead and bring it to you."

The pieces had begun falling in place when she saw Derek at her door and now a knot had settled in her stomach, Derek was her stalker. Now here he was standing in her door and she was home alone. She decided to try and play off as if Olivia had forgotten and was home, just unavailable. "Oh I guess she did. Um, thank you for bringing it by. Have a good evening." she was about to close the door but he stepped in further to prevent it.

"Are you not going to invite me in?"

Alex grew more scared with each passing moment. She was silently pleading with Olivia to hurry. "Olivia and I are about to have dinner. Maybe you can come by another day."

"That's funny considering Olivia isn't home."

Alex is too stunned to react when he pushes himself the rest of the way in and closes the door. He was never going to meet Olivia to return her sweatshirt. Suddenly Alex remembered how she had forgotten it, she couldn't find it when it was time to leave. He had to have hidden it from her so he would have an excuse to see her. Alex looks at him, he's standing there smiling at her. To anyone else he would appear to be a friend who was over for a visit. Alex decided that since he was calm she was going to do her best to stay calm as well. If she played it cool then hopefully it would give time for Olivia to get home or for her to come up with an escape.

"Alex?" she managed to turn her attention back to him. "Did you like the flowers and candy I sent you?"

"Uh…they were very nice." She took a deep, steadying breath "Derek I'm flattered that you are interested in me but I am in love with Olivia."

He approaches her, causing her to flinch, but doesn't touch her "Alex why won't you give me a chance?" he was almost pleading.

"Derek I already told you I am in love with Olivia. I've been in love with her since I was sixteen years old."

"Alex I promise you I would be a good husband. You would never want for anything."

Alex shakes her head and is about to speak when she notices a change in his demeanor. If she wasn't scared before she is now, he is obviously becoming agitated.

"I can give you anything; fancy homes, trips around the world, jewelry. What can she give you that I can't?"

"Her heart."

"What?"

"I said she can give me her heart, that's the one thing she can give me that no one else can. And honestly that's the one thing I want more than anything else in this world."

This angered him "You'll never have anything if you stay with her! She will only bring you down Alex. I know you have dreams and ambitions, you can have that with me. If you were with me you could have anything. You could have money, a career, political office. I know you have political aspirations."

"I can have all that with Olivia too, if I want it. I may still run for office one day but the most important thing to me is that Olivia is with me. Achieving all that won't matter if I don't have Olivia."

Alex squeals when he reaches out and grabs her arm pulling her toward him. She twists her arm and manages to pull away.

"Think about it Alex." He says as his voice grows. "You'll never be able to marry, you'll never have children. No one will ever respect you!" he reaches out and grabs her again, only this time he holds her and prevents her from pulling away. The look in his eyes was scaring her. She fights against him but he is stronger than she is. "Alex if you stay with her you will be nothing more than a little whore. Is that what you want? You want to be known as that bitch's whore?"

Alex's eyes narrowed, her fear slowly turning to anger "I'd rather be her whore than your wife!" she pulled back again but is unable to break free due to the firm hold he has on her waist.

"Maybe I should just show you what you're missing out on."

Olivia runs through the door of their building and begins taking the stairs two at a time. She wished they had figured it out sooner that Derek was the stalker. She kicked herself for waiting on him as long as she had. The thought of him showing up at their apartment crossed her mind and she felt her blood boil. She knew if he did anything to Alex she would never get into the academy, they definitely didn't allow murders on the force.

Alex pulled back and managed to break free and ran for the door. As she pulled it open he lunged at her and she used his momentum to shove him out the door. "I'm calling the cops!"

At those words Derek took off down the hall. He was just about to round the corner when he collided with someone. He fell to the floor and looked around. His eyes widened when he met the anger filled eyes of Olivia. Derek jumped up and took off toward the stairs.

Olivia was about to get up when she felt Alex's hand on her arm. She looked up and her anger went through the roof when she saw Alex was crying "Are you okay? Alex did he hurt you?!"

"No, no, he grabbed me that was all."

The fact he had placed his hands on Alex was all she needed to hear "Get back inside!" she shouted as she threw her book bag to the ground and took off after Derek.

Alex took off after her girlfriend, she had never seen a look in Olivia's eyes like she had just seen. All she knew was if she wasn't there when Olivia caught Derek there was no telling what she might do.

Olivia had just caught up to him at the bottom of the stairs. She lunged at him and tackled him to the ground. They are both rolling on the ground trying to gain the upper hand. He manages to land a punch to Olivia's stomach. It took her a moment to catch her breath but managed to get the upper hand. She sits up and straddles Derek landing a solid punch to the face. She's vaguely aware of Alex yelling at her to stop, but it wasn't happening. She lands another punch and is sure the crack she heard was his nose breaking. The next thing she knows she feels a pair of strong hands pulling her off of Derek. She looks up and sees it's their neighbor Matt.

Alex quickly grabs Olivia and pulls her to the side "Are you okay?"

Olivia gasps for air and takes a moment to calm down before slowly nodding her head "Yeah, I'm okay."

One of the downstairs neighbors has stepped into the hallway and Matt asks him to call the police. He also corners Derek, who is still lying on the floor, to prevent him from leaving.

Olivia turned her attention to Alex "Are you okay? Are you sure he didn't hurt you?" she's looking Alex over to be sure she hasn't been hurt.

Alex wrapped her arms around Olivia and breathed in her scent as she allowed it to calm her. "I'm fine I promise."

They stay wrapped in one another's arms until the police arrive. The only time they spoke was when Matt asked what had happened.

Once the police arrive they lead Alex and Olivia away to ask what had happened while another officer questioned Derek. Alex tells them that someone had been stalking her but she didn't know it was Derek until tonight. She told them he had to have been following her to know where she lived because she had never given him her address. After a search of Derek's messenger bag they found a day planner with Alex's schedule, address, as well as when and where she liked to go running. He also had Olivia's schedule written down so he would know when and where she was.

Derek was placed under arrest and Alex was terrified Olivia would be charged as well, especially when Derek said she attacked him. Alex couldn't help the smile that crossed her face when one officer told him he was lucky someone pulled her off of him.

It had angered Olivia even more when Alex told her in detail everything that had happened. She wished now she had another chance at him. Olivia told Alex it would be best to call Laura and John. Alex wanted to wait till the next day but Olivia told her about calling John earlier and that they were probably worried. Olivia was right, both her parents were worried. Once again they begged them to come home but Alex refused. Laura threatened to come and get them but Alex said they were safe and she had a feeling after the beat down Olivia gave him, Derek would never be coming back.

After talking to her parents Alex took Olivia to the bathroom to clean her hands, they were now bloodied and bruised from the fight. She gingerly kissed each knuckle after cleaning them. "I can't believe you fought him! He's so much bigger than you are."

Olivia chuckled "I didn't care. All that mattered to me was that he had hurt you. It's a wonder I didn't kill him."

Alex laughed but then she noticed the serious look on Olivia's face. "You wouldn't?"

"Alex there's nothing I wouldn't do for you or to protect you." she teared up slightly "I would die for you Alex."

Alex crashed their lips together. She knew Olivia would lay her life down for her, and she knew without a doubt she would do the same for Olivia. As the kiss slowed Alex could taste their tears as they continued to cry. "I love you. I love you." she whispered as she pulled back.

"I love you too."

Olivia took Alex's hand in her own and led her to the bedroom. They crawled into bed and Olivia pulled Alex into her arms. They lay in silence for a while, happy to simply be in one another's presence. "Maybe we can get back to a normal life now."

Alex smiled and settled in closer to her girlfriend "I hope so. Love you."

Olivia closed her eyes and began drifting off to sleep "I love you too, more than anything in the world."

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**Not sure what has gotten into me but I'm on a bit of a roll here. This story now has 100 reviews, thank you to each and every one of you! I threw out a comment from Titanic, which I do not own, see if you can catch it. I also decided it was time for Badass Benson to make an appearance. Let me know what you thought. I hope you enjoyed!**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews, follows and favorites. I'm glad you liked the last chapter. This chapter is much longer than usual but I had a hard time finding a place to stop. I really like this chapter; there are some tears, some happiness, humor, and at times should have an M rating (it seems you always enjoy that Little Miss Nicap). To csweet85 and anyone who is wondering, I have no intentions of witness protection happening. Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 19

Two years had passed since the stalking. Derek was arrested that night and due to a clerical error, thanks to a court clerk who happened to be a friend of John's, he spent the weekend in jail. He was charged but since it was his first offense and he plead guilty he received probation and was ordered to not get within five hundred feet of Alex. He lost his job at the law office and left school, they never heard from him again. John also cut off all business as well as personal ties with Jeff. After Derek's arrest he had called John and tried to tell him it was a misunderstanding and wanted Alex to drop the charges. When John refused Jeff then said that it was Alex's fault and if she would've just given him a chance none of it would've ever happened. It had surprised Alex when her mom told her. She hated that her dad had lost a lifelong friend but when she told him that he explained that she was far more important. She hated that it had taken her being stalked but she was grateful that it seemed as if they were finally getting their relationship back.

Alex and Olivia had also excelled in their schooling. They had started taking extra courses and were now about to graduate a year early. Olivia had been accepted into the academy for the NYPD while Alex been accepted to Harvard. While both were excited to be graduating early they also grew sad with each passing day knowing that they were now going to be apart for the next four years until Alex graduated. Olivia would have a month between the time they graduated and when she would enter the academy. She was hoping to spend the time with Alex as well as help her find and apartment near Harvard. Knowing she wouldn't be with her girlfriend every day Olivia wanted to make sure that Alex at least had a safe place to live.

It was early May, a week until graduation, it was also Mother's Day weekend and they were planning to drive down to the city and visit their mothers. Olivia's relationship with her mother was still strained but they talked on the phone at least once a week. Olivia was pretty sure Serena was still drinking but every time they talked on the phone she was sober, and for that Olivia was grateful.

The sun was just peeking through the curtains when Olivia began to wake up. She was having a rather pleasant dream involving Alex, she squeezed her eyes shut hoping to fall back asleep and finish her dream. Olivia groaned as images from her dream flashed through her mind. She felt a familiar pull low in her stomach and decided to see if Alex was awake yet. As she opened her eyes she realized the cause of her dream. She gasped as she looked down to see Alex lying between her legs. Olivia moaned as she became fully awake and realized what was going on.

Alex looked up at Olivia and grinned, she loved waking Olivia up like this. She held her right hand up and wiggled her fingers, waving good morning. She began placing kisses along Olivia's inner thighs "Good morning beautiful."

Olivia reached down and ran her fingers through Alex's hair, pushing it back to see her face better "Definitely a good morning."

Alex chuckled before she went back to licking and nipping, stopping long enough to swirl her tongue around Olivia's center "Mmm."

"Dear God Alex." Olivia moaned as her head dropped back on the pillow and she arched her back. She continued to be amazed as to how Alex could make her feel the things she did.

Alex reached up and took Olivia's right hand in her left, lacing their fingers together. It was something they had done since their first time together and it always made them feel closer. "Hold on." Alex whispered as she wrapped her lips around the straining bundle of nerves.

"Shit!" Olivia called out as she squeezed Alex's hand tighter while tangling her fingers tighter in her hair. Olivia was doing her best to hold on and allow the feeling to last but she was slowly losing the battle.

Alex could feel Olivia's legs trembling and knew she wasn't far off. "Let go for me baby." she pulled Olivia's clit between her lips and flicked the tip of her tongue against it. She groaned as she watched Olivia come undone in front of her. She continued sucking, trying to draw out Olivia's pleasure for as long as possible.

"Alex. Alex." Olivia gasped as she tried to catch her breath. She loved what Alex was doing to her but she knew if the blonde didn't stop she was going to pass out. "Oh God, Alex! Stop. Please stop."

Alex grinned as she placed on last kiss to Olivia's most sensitive spot causing her body to spasm again. She climbed up the brunette's body and was surprised when Olivia grabbed her and flipped them over. She gasped when Olivia pressed their lips together in a passionate kiss. She was so caught up in the feel of Olivia's lips against her own that she didn't feel Olivia's hand sliding down her body. She screamed as Olivia quickly entered her with three fingers. "Fuck, Liv!"

Olivia loved watching the expression on Alex's face as it changed; the lust and love in her eyes, the look of pure pleasure on her face. She began placing open mouth kisses along Alex's neck.

As much as Alex was enjoying her girlfriend's lips on her skin she had to stop her. "Liv, Olivia, baby no marks. Remember?"

Olivia grinned "Not want Mommy to know what you were doing this morning?" she asked as she increased the speed of her thrusts.

Alex gasped at the feeling "Nooo," Alex groaned "And I doubt you want her knowing what you were doing either."

"Good point." Olivia said as she latched onto Alex's breast and curled her fingers, causing Alex to scream as she fell over the edge.

They were laying on their backs staring at one another as they slowly came down. As much as they both loved making love to one another this was one of their favorite moments, staring into one another's eyes afterwards. It always felt as if their souls were fusing into one.

Both startled when there was a knock on the wall "Is there ever a time you two aren't horny?" came Matt's voice through the wall.

"You're just jealous Olivia is better than you!" Alex called out. She turned and grinned at Olivia who was shaking her head.

After taking a few more minutes to relax in bed they got up and began to get ready for their trip to the city. Alex was standing in front of the mirror getting dressed, she smiled when she saw Olivia come up behind her and wrap her arms around her waist. "I guess I overdid it a little, didn't I?" Olivia chuckled as she looked at the light bruises she'd left on Alex's chest.

"Thank God I told you to move, if not I'd have to wear a turtleneck." She turned in Olivia's arms and leaned in for kiss "I love you."

"I love you too."

That afternoon they pulled up in front of Alex's parent's house. Before they had barely gotten out of the car Laura was on the sidewalk throwing her arms around both of them.

"God Mom, couldn't you at least give us a chance to get in the house first?"

"No, I'm just so happy that my girls are home."

They spent the rest of the afternoon and evening with Alex's parents. They talked about graduation, getting their apartment packed up and when they would go to Cambridge to help Alex apartment hunt. Just the mere mention of Alex going off to Harvard brought both girls mood down. While they both knew it was coming, it wasn't something they liked to think about. They had been living together since they were eighteen years old, they were accustomed to seeing each other every day. Neither were sure how they would manage to live apart for four years.

"So Mom, Olivia and I want to take you to brunch tomorrow."

"Well I never turn down an invite to brunch." She turned to face the brunette "Olivia wouldn't you like to spend time with your mom?"

Olivia nodded and took a deep breath "I wanted to ask you if you would mind if I called and invited her as well."

"Olivia she is your mom, I would never tell you that you couldn't invite her somewhere."

The next day Olivia is nervous as the cab pulls up to the restaurant. She had called Serena the night before and invited her. To her surprise Serena was sober and seemed very happy to be invited. She was nervously shifting her weight from one foot to the other in anticipation of Serena's arrival. Alex noticed and reached out and placed her hand on the small of Olivia's back hoping to calm her. Olivia turned her head and smiled at Alex, just knowing Alex was there for her always had a way of soothing her.

Olivia took a deep breath and felt Alex squeeze her hand as Serena stepped from a cab. Olivia smiled as she walked toward her. She could feel tears sting her eyes when Serena reached out and gently pulled her in for a hug. Olivia wrapped her arms around the older woman "Happy Mother's Day Mom."

Serena pulled back and looked her daughter over "I'm so happy to see you." she took a moment to greet Alex and Laura before all four headed inside.

Brunch went wonderfully, Olivia couldn't have been happier with how things had went. She was a little surprised when Laura didn't order a drink and even more surprised when her mom didn't either. Even though they had seen each other a few times after Olivia had left for college this had been the best time they had spent together in years.

When they were finished with their meal they stood outside talking for a bit. Serena turned to Olivia with a nervous look "When are you two going back?"

"We had thought about tomorrow but I think we're going to wait until Tuesday morning."

"I wanted to ask you if you would like to come and stay the night with me tonight. It would give us a chance to catch up a little."

Olivia took a deep breath and looked to Alex. She was grateful for their ability to have a conversation without saying a word. Part of her wanted to go but another part of her was afraid to. She could tell Alex was silently telling her she would support her decision. "Um, well."

Serena placed a hand on Olivia's arm "It's okay, you don't have to make a decision now. If you want to think about it and call me later that's okay." She turned to Alex and smiled "Alex the invitation is for you as well." she chuckled at the look of surprise on the blonde's face "I really would like it if you both stayed the night."

Alex knew how important it was to Olivia to eventually be able to have a relationship with her mother, she also could tell that deep down Olivia wanted to go. She stepped closer and took Olivia's hand in hers "We would love too."

That evening Olivia grew nervous as she and Alex stood outside Serena's apartment. Brunch had gone so smoothly but she was so afraid that something could go wrong now.

"You know, you can change your mind if you want to." Alex said as she wrapped an arm around Olivia's waist.

Olivia smiled sadly "I know but I want to do this, or at least try. Alex you have no idea what it's like for your mom to not like you. I finally have a chance to have a relationship with her."

Alex gave her a quick peck on the lips "Okay then." She was about to knock when she turned back to Olivia "Olivia I want you to know I won't have her berating you like she used to. If she starts that we're leaving."

Olivia nodded "If she's drinking I'm not staying either." She took a deep breath before knocking, this could either go really well or end really bad.

Serena smiled as she ushered both girls inside. "I'm so glad you both came." She stopped a moment and looked at both girls "I straightened up a bit. If you want you can put your bags in your old room Olivia."

Olivia walked into her old room and froze as she instantly flashed back to the last time she spent the night there, the night Serena had caught her and Alex in bed together. Alex nearly ran into Olivia when she stopped. She walked around and recognized the faraway look in her eyes "Liv? Olivia?"

Olivia shook her head as she was drawn back by Alex's voice "Huh?"

Alex ran her fingers through Olivia's hair "I know what you're thinking. It was a long time ago Olivia."

"It still doesn't change the fact that what I did was wrong." Serena said from behind them.

"Mom." Olivia started but was interrupted.

"No Olivia, I think we need to have this discussion." She looked to the floor before facing them again "Why don't you two leave your things in here and come to the living room so we can talk."

Once they were seated, Alex and Olivia on the sofa and Serena in her favorite chair they sat silently for a moment unsure how to begin. Serena looked to Alex "I have apologized to Olivia for my behavior that night but I want to apologize to you as well. I'm sorry Alex. The things I said to both of you, but you especially, were horrible and I am truly sorry for that. I had been drinking that night, and while that's no excuse, it is why I acted the way I did."

"Apology accepted."

Serena smiled and nodded "Thank you." she faced Olivia "I know that nothing I can say can change my behavior or my treatment of you through the years. It was wrong and I only hope that one day you can forgive me. I am still struggling with my drinking but it is something that I am slowly working on. I do love you Olivia."

The tears were streaming down Olivia's face but she didn't care, she had finally heard the words she had always wanted to hear from her mother. She jumped up and ran to her, pulling her in for a tight hug. "I love you too Mom."

Alex stayed in her seat, allowing mother and daughter to have a moment. She tried to wipe her own tears but it was no use. She was so happy for Olivia, she was finally getting what she had always wanted.

The rest of the evening went much smoother. Olivia thought that her mom was still a little uncomfortable with their relationship, especially any displays of affection. While she didn't like having to try and watch what she and Alex did in front of Serena she was willing to hold back a bit. At least Serena was trying and if it meant giving her more time to accept seeing them being affectionate towards one another she was willing to do so.

It had been an emotionally draining evening for all three ladies. Olivia finally had what she had always wanted from her mother, she had her love. Alex had never really cared if she received an apology from Serena but she was happy she had.

Olivia lay in her old bed as she tried to push the bad memories from her mind. She smiled as she watched Alex change into her pajamas before climbing in next to her. She slid over a bit to make room. "I forgot how small this bed is." Her double bed was definitely smaller than their queen size bed back in their apartment.

Alex laughed "I guess that means we'll just have to get a little cozy then won't we?" she asked as she curled closer to the brunette. She could feel some tension still running through Olivia's body. Alex rose up so she could look Olivia in the eye and began running her fingers through her hair. It was something she had learned calmed Olivia. "Liv baby, what's wrong?"

Olivia sighed as she ran her hand along Alex's arm "It's just there's so many bad memories here."

"Do you want to leave?"

"No, it's just I think about what happened the last time we were here. I think about all the things that has happened in this apartment." A small smile crossed her face "I do have some good memories here though."

"Care to share?"

Olivia smile brightly this time "They all involve you. I do have some good memories of my Grandma here and there are a few with my Mom, but most all of my good memories are of you."

Alex grinned and waggled her eyebrows "I have a few good memories in here as well. Our first time was here and that will always be one of my favorite memories."

Olivia pulled Alex down to her for a kiss "It's one of mine too."

Alex settled down with her arm around Olivia's waist and her head on her shoulder. Even if it was just lying in one another's arms she wanted to give Olivia another good memory of this place. Alex thought Olivia had fallen asleep so she was startled when she heard her voice.

"So should we tell them together or tell my Mom alone?"

Alex shifted slightly so she could see Olivia's face "Whatever is more comfortable for you."

"Would you care if we tell her in the morning then tell your parents before we leave? I just think it might be best if we tell her separately just in case she flips out."

The next morning they sat at the table having breakfast. Olivia was growing nervous as she thought about telling her mom their secret. She looked to Alex who gave her a reassuring nod and reached under the table to squeeze her hand.

"Um Mom? Alex and I have something we'd like to tell you."

Serena sat her coffee down "Okay."

Olivia reached out and took Alex's hand in hers for support, and like she always did she found it reflecting in Alex's eyes. "Alex and I are going to have a small commitment ceremony. Since I am about to enter the academy and she is leaving for Harvard we wanted to do something….something that feels permanent. We can't get married so this is what we're going to do."

Alex was unsure if Serena's silence was a good thing or a bad thing. "Olivia and I both know that we will be together forever its just we wanted to do something to show our commitment to one another."

Olivia grew nervous with each passing second that Serena didn't say anything. She was worried that this would end the good time they'd had so far.

A small smile slowly spread across Serena's face "I'm happy for you, for both of you."

"Thank you." both replied.

Serena looked anxious "I'd like to be there, that is if it's okay with you."

Olivia tried to hold the tears back but was unable. She hadn't been sure if Serena would even be okay let alone want to be there. She reached out and took Serena's hand in her own "I'd love for you to be there."

After breakfast they took time to say their goodbyes. The girls would be graduating on Saturday and Serena informed them she had every intention of being there.

Neither could wipe the smile from their face as the entered Alex's parent's home. Knowing that Serena was happy for them as well as wanted to be there for them had been one of the best things they had heard in a while.

"Well don't you two look happy." Laura said as she entered the room. "I take it things went well?"

"It went great." Olivia smiled brightly. "She told me she loved me."

Laura wrapped her arms around the young woman "I'm so happy for you sweetheart."

Alex almost hated to interrupt the moment but she knew they would have to be leaving soon "Is Dad home?"

"He's in the kitchen." She noticed the smile on both their faces "Why?"

"We want to tell you guys something before we go back home."

They gathered in the kitchen. Like Olivia had done with her Alex reached out for Olivia's hand. Once she felt Olivia give it a firm squeeze she began "You know we can't get married but Olivia and I want to make a permanent commitment to one another. We're going to have a commitment ceremony, a small one, and we'd like for both of you to be there."

She'd barely gotten the words out of her mouth when Laura rushed toward them and wrapped her arms around them. "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else in the world."

Alex was a little nervous about her dad but it all went away when he hugged her "I'm happy for you Alex." He looked to Olivia "I'm happy for you both."

They spent the rest of their time together discussing graduation and making plans for the ceremony. Alex knew if she wasn't careful her mom would go completely overboard so she made sure to reiterate the point that they wanted something small and simple.

Olivia had just finished taking their bags to the car and headed back to the kitchen where Alex was gathering up some brownies and cookies Laura had made for them. Olivia stopped and leaned against the wall, she watched as Alex danced her way around the kitchen. Her back was to the door so she had no idea she was being watched. One thing Olivia could say for sure was Alex could move, both in the bedroom and out. She couldn't keep her presence unknown any longer when she heard the song that was playing, I Touch Myself by the Divinyls. She burst out laughing causing Alex to jump.

"Jesus Liv, you scared me to death!"

Olivia walked over and leaned on the island still laughing.

"What's so funny?"

Olivia shook her head as she pointed at the radio. "I was just thinking about the last time you were singing this song here and your mom walked in and caught you."

Alex blushed slightly "Not my best moment." She laughed "It was true though you know." She walked around the island, adding an extra sway to her hips as she did so. She leaned in to whisper in Olivia's ear "I did like touching myself when I thought about you." she grinned as she saw Olivia shudder "I still do."

"My God Alex, can't you at least wait until you two are back home?" Laura asked as she walked in. She loved both girls dearly and she loved watching them squirm. She grinned as she faced them "So do you still leave your vibrator laying around for anyone to find?"

John froze as he entered the room and heard the end of the conversation. "Right. I'll just wait in the living room."

"Well just one more thing I'll never hear the end of." Alex said as she gathered up the goodies Laura had made and headed toward the living room.

They were standing next to the car saying their goodbyes when her parents looked to one another before facing both girls. "We want you to know that we are so proud of both of you." John said with a smile.

"We decided that all your hard work deserved a gift."

Alex reached out and took the envelope her mom was handing her. She opened it as Olivia leaned over her shoulder to look at its contents. Their eyes widened and both gasped as they realized what it was.

"Are you serious?" Alex asked when she found her voice.

John and Laura nodded.

Olivia opened and closed her mouth several times "This, this is a trip to Hawaii!"

"We figured that after all the hard work you've done over the past few years, as well as all the hard work still ahead that you deserved it. You'll leave two days after graduation. That way you'll still have plenty of time when you get back before Olivia enters the academy. It's even more perfect now because it can be a sort of 'honeymoon' since you're having your ceremony."

Alex and Olivia both threw their arms around the couple in front of them, whispering thank you and I love you over and over again.

After more tears they finally managed to climb into Alex's car and start their trip back home. Alex reached over and took Olivia's hand in hers "This has to be one of the best weekends we've ever had."

"It was." She turned and took the opportunity to look at Alex, it never failed to amaze her just how much she loved her girlfriend. "And it's only going to get better."

When she came to a stop at a red light Alex leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to Olivia's lips "Let's go home and get ready to start the rest of our lives."


	20. Chapter 20

**Thanks as always for the reviews. I know this is a long one but I just couldn't stop. I wanted the ceremony to be one chapter and their trip to Hawaii will be the next one. This is all happiness and fluff. I won't lie, I even made myself tear up once or twice. I know, I'm a sap. Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 20

It was a beautiful May afternoon in New York; the sun was shining brightly, it couldn't be a more perfect day. The Cabot house was filled with activity as they prepared for Alex and Olivia's ceremony. The girls had graduated from college Friday evening and had headed back to the city that night for their ceremony. It amazed them that they were able to pull everything together in less than a week, but with the help of Laura and even a little from Serena they had managed. The Cabot's had offered their home up for the ceremony which the girls gladly accepted. Laura also arranged for a catered dinner afterwards, while Serena had hired a photographer to take pictures of the girls and the ceremony.

Olivia stood in the downstairs bathroom checking her reflection for what felt like the millionth time, she wanted to look her absolute best for Alex. She had chosen a pink sleeveless sundress that ended just above her knee. She was just checking her makeup one last time when Serena knocked on the door. Never did she imagine when she and Alex told their parents they were dating each other that Serena would eventually be okay with the relationship. Olivia knew there was a part of her mother that still struggled with it and Olivia was still willing to give her time to adjust. The fact that she was slowly developing a relationship with her mother meant so much to her, it was what she had always wanted.

Olivia opened the door "Hey Mom."

Serena smiled "You look wonderful."

"Thanks." Olivia shifted nervously for a moment "Mom I know you're still getting used to Alex and me but I am so glad you are here."

"I'm glad I'm here too." She reached out and hugged her daughter before going to take a seat with the rest of the guests.

As Serena walked away Laura stepped into the doorway. She looked at the brunette and smiled "You look absolutely beautiful."

"Thank you." Olivia whispered as she tried not to cry.

"I just wanted to stop by and say a few words before it begins." She took a deep breath and took Olivia's hands in her own. "Olivia I just want you to know how much I love you. I couldn't love you more if I had given birth to you myself." She grabbed a tissue from the counter "I am so proud of you. I want you to know that I am always here for you and if you need anything, no matter what time it is day or night, I want you to know you can come to me. Okay?"

"I love you too, you'll never know how much." Olivia said as she threw her arms around the older woman.

As she pulled back Laura wiped Olivia's tears "Don't want to ruin your makeup. You want to knock Alex off her feet when you walk in there, don't you?"

Olivia chuckled as she nodded and fixed her makeup.

Alex stood at the end of the hall waiting for Olivia. Part of her thought she should be nervous but she wasn't. In fact she had never been more calm or at peace in her life. She knew that what she was doing was right, spending her life with Olivia was what she was meant to do. She ran her hands over her dress, smoothing it one last time. She had chosen a blue strapless, knee length dress. She had chosen it because she knew how much Olivia loved her in blue.

In keeping with a small ceremony they only invited a few people. Aside from Alex's parents and Serena, her Uncle Bill was there with his wife. Their neighbor Matt and his girlfriend had made the trip to the city. Olivia's childhood friend Jessica was there as well while Alex had asked her longtime friend James to 'officiate' the ceremony.

Alex was pulled from her thoughts when she heard Olivia's footsteps behind her. She took a deep breath before turning around. The air instantly left her lungs as Olivia approached. They had decided no kissing until afterwards, it was a decision Alex was regretting as she wanted nothing more than to kiss Olivia until she could no longer breathe. She settled for reaching out and taking Olivia's hands in her own "You are so beautiful."

"Not nearly as beautiful as you are." Olivia looked down at Alex's dress before grinning "Blue huh?"

"I think you mentioned something one time about loving me in blue."

They stood there staring into one another's eyes, getting completely lost. They were startled back to reality when they heard Laura clearing her throat.

"Girls, whenever you're ready."

Alex slipped her hand into Olivia's and linked their fingers together. She could hear the light classical music coming from the other room. Alex could feel Olivia squeeze her hand. She turned to the brunette and smiled "Let's go."

They walked into the room and smiled at their friends and family who were smiling back at them.

James smiled at the ladies standing before him before looking out at the guests. "Family, friends, we are here today to celebrate Alex and Olivia and their love for one another. They are here to show their commitment to one another and have invited you to share their day with them." he grinned at Alex before continuing "I have known Alex since we were five years old. I remember attending Alex's eighth birthday party. It was the same group of kids whom she always invited but that year there was a new girl, a quiet little brunette." Both Alex and Olivia grinned at the memory. "As the years went on it became clear that the two were inseparable. I remember one year when it seemed things had changed. Anytime someone mentioned Olivia Alex would get this goofy look on her face." This caused everyone in the room to laugh.

"I was so happy when I found out that they were together. I remember one day Alex dropped her notebook in class, I picked it up and couldn't help but laugh as I read the page. It was filled with hearts and their names written in them. Alex and Olivia, Olivia and Alex. I never let her hear the end of it." he looked down before smiling at the couple again "Enough teasing them though. It's time we get to the real reason we are here." He placed his hands on their arms and turned them to face on another. "Alex, Olivia, you are here to publicly commit yourselves to one another. This is not something to enter into lightly. Are you making this commitment freely and by your own choice?"

"We are." Both echoed back.

James reached into his pocket and pulled out two matching diamond bands. "These rings have no beginning and no end, just like Alex and Olivia's love for one another. Alex and Olivia have written their own words of promise to one another." He looked to Olivia and nodded as he handed her Alex's ring.

Olivia had told herself she wasn't going to cry but she had yet to say the first word and the tears were already running down her cheeks.

"I had always wondered what real love would feel like. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I would find it in my best friend. You are not my girlfriend who happens to also be my best friend, you are my best friend who just happens to be my girlfriend. You came into my life when I needed you most. I needed a friend but I got so much more than that. Alex you are my rock, my safe place, my home." she was struggling to keep her voice even but the longer she spoke the more the tears fell. "Alex you believe in me and thanks to you I have learned to believe in myself. Alex I love you more than anything in the world and I as much as I love you now I know that love will continue to grow." She took a deep breath before continuing "Alex I promise to be faithful to you, to stand by you through both good and bad. Like you told me when we were younger; you look out for me and I'll look out for you. I will love you for all eternity. You are the love of my life Alexandra." Olivia's hand was shaking as she carefully slid the ring on to Alex's trembling hand.

By the time Olivia had finished there wasn't a dry eye in the room. James handed Olivia's ring to Alex and nodded, encouraging her on.

Alex cleared her throat attempting to find her voice. Olivia's words had gone straight to her heart. She wiped her tears before speaking. "Olivia I never knew it was possible to love someone the way I love you, let alone to be loved the way you love me. I can't even put into words the way you make me feel. I have never felt as safe as I do when I'm in your arms. Olivia I know longer know where I end and you begin. Olivia I will always be faithful to you. I will stand by you and support you through good times and bad. Forever will never be long enough to love you. I know there will be times we won't be together but we will always be in each other's heart. One thing you should know, no matter where I go, we'll always be together forever and ever." She slid the ring on Olivia's shaking hand.

Both were near sobbing by this point but neither cared. They could tell by the sniffling coming from their friends and family that their words had gotten to them as well. They both gratefully accepted a tissue from James and dried their tears.

James looked back and forth at the two "Alex, Olivia, you share something that is rare and precious, don't ever take it for granted. You will have trials, maybe even moments of doubt but never doubt your love for one another. A love as strong as yours can never be torn apart." He smiled at the two "Now why don't you seal the deal?" he watched as a smile spread across their faces "Go on Alex, kiss your girl."

Alex reached out and placed her hands on Olivia's waist pulling her close. Even though Olivia was wearing heals Alex's height as well as her own heals increased her slight height advantage. Olivia reached up and placed her right hand on Alex's cheek as they pressed their lips together. Olivia felt as if her heart was going to burst from her chest as Alex pulled her tighter against her and deepened the kiss.

When they finally parted for lack of oxygen they both began laughing at the whistles and cheers coming from their friends and family. "I love you." Alex whispered as she placed one last chaste kiss to Olivia's lips.

"I love you too." She looped her arm around Alex's as they turned.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Alex and Olivia." James said as the couple turned to face their guests.

They were greeted with hugs as well as well wishes from everyone. Laura told them to take a moment to freshen up and then the photographer would be taking a few pictures before dinner would be served. They headed upstairs to Alex's old room. Once inside Alex pulled Olivia tight against her for a far more passionate kiss than they had shared just moments before.

"Do you know how much I love you?" she asked as the separated.

"I think I have a pretty good idea." Olivia rested her forehead against Alex's and took a moment to simply breathe. "I think today ranks as one of the absolute best days of my life."

"Mine too." Alex was quiet for a moment "You realize we basically just got married, right?"

Olivia gave her a small smile "Yeah, yeah I do."

They took a moment to dry their eyes and fix their makeup before heading downstairs to have their pictures taken. The picture ranged from a group shot with everyone, to pictures with their families. They also went outside to have a few pictures taken in the small backyard, little did they know this would be where one of their favorite pictures would be taken.

As they sat around the dining room table having dinner Olivia couldn't help but smile when every so often she felt Alex reach under the table and squeeze her hand. Dinner went smoothly and the conversation flowed easily. Even though Serena appeared to be slightly uncomfortable she seemed to get along well with the other guests. Olivia was especially happy when Serena and Matt's girlfriend Amy hit it off well. Amy had graduated with a degree in teaching and a minor in English. She and Serena talked endlessly about some of their favorite works of literature. Olivia was especially grateful when Laura had told her if she wanted they would not serve wine with dinner. Olivia thought part of it was out of respect for her mother trying to get sober but she knew the biggest part was because Laura didn't want Serena doing anything to embarrass the brunette. They were to have champagne with their dessert though.

Since the weather was so nice they decided to have dessert on the patio. Alex and Olivia, along with their friends, went outside while their families stayed inside to allow them some time together. Olivia and Alex were sitting next to each other stealing little glances and smiles here and there. She was getting lost in her thoughts of Alex and nearly spit her drink out when she realized the story Matt was about to tell. "Matt, no."

"Oh come on Olivia, it's not that bad."

Alex picked up on what he was about to say. "Don't even." She didn't want anyone to hear the story but if he was going to tell it she was grateful that her parents, Serena, and her aunt and uncle were not there at the moment.

Now everyone was interested "Okay if Alex wants you to keep quiet I definitely want to know." James said he grinned at Alex, earning him a glare in return.

Matt looked around at the guests then decided to censor the story a bit. "The walls in our building are paper thin, which means it's nothing to overhear what's going on in the next apartment. I've heard a few arguments that makes me feel sorry for any attorney that will go up against Alex." He grinned mischievously at the pair "It also made it possible to overhear other things, especially late at night."

Both girls blushed while James raised his eyebrows "Really?"

Matt nodded and laughed "Let's put it this way, one morning I gave Olivia a standing ovation as they passed our apartment."

Everyone began laughing while Alex and Olivia both turned several shades of red. They both remembered the exact morning Matt was talking about, as well as everything that had happened the night before.

"Quite passionate are you?" James asked with a laugh as he watched the couple squirm.

Matt leaned forward in his chair "Let's put it this way, the energizer bunny has nothing on them. If one of them was a guy they'd have probably already popped out a couple kids."

Alex grabbed the decorative pillow from the bench she was sitting on and threw it at Matt's head "Jackass."

"We taught you to treat guests better than that." John said as both families walked out onto the patio.

"He's not a guest, he's Matt." Alex said as she put her arm around Olivia and scooted closer.

Matt chuckled "Trust me Mr. Cabot, if we were in ours or their apartment it would probably be a lot worse. Alex and I have been giving each other a hard time since the day we met."

John poured the champagne while the caterer brought out the cake. Knowing that both girls loved chocolate as well as strawberries, Laura ordered a chocolate cake with a thin layer of strawberries in the middle.

Olivia was sipping her champagne and taking a moment to look at Alex, the way the late evening sun was shining on her it made her appear as if she were glowing. Olivia could feel her breath catch as she thought that Alex had never looked more beautiful than she did in that moment. She grinned when she noticed a bit of chocolate on Alex's lips.

"What?" Alex asked when she realized she was being stared at.

"You have a little bit of chocolate." Olivia said as she placed her hand on Alex's cheek and lightly ran her thumb across her lips. Her breath hitched and her voice squeaked when Alex parted her lips slightly and wrapped her lips around her thumb.

"Hey watch it Energizer." Matt called out, earning a confused look from the older members of the group and a laugh from the younger ones.

"Do we want to know?" Serena asked.

"I'm pretty sure we don't." John replied.

Laura was gathering plates from the guests "Oh I bet I have a pretty good idea what he meant."

Both Alex and Olivia's eyes went wide with both fear and embarrassment "Mom, don't even."

Matt put on his best boyish smile "Well I for one would love to hear it Mrs. Cabot."

Laura waited a moment to let them suffer, she could see Olivia was silently pleading with her to not say anything while Alex's expression said she had already come up with several different ways to kill Matt. "No, I'd better not. I think it's a story best kept between me and my girls."

They sat talking for a bit longer before their guests finally began leaving. Jessica walked over to hug Olivia and congratulate her again. "She's good for you, you know?"

"That she is." Olivia smiled as she watched Alex tell her aunt and uncle goodbye.

"I remember how once you two became friends you always seemed a bit happier. I remembered thinking one time that you two would make a cute couple but never imagined you would be more than friends." She hugged Olivia one last time "I'm so happy for you. You deserve every ounce of this."

Olivia walked over and joined Alex who was hugging James. "Thank you so much, you did a wonderful job." Olivia said as she hugged him.

"It was my honor. Just promise me that once it's legal and you make it official I want to be invited."

Alex laughed as she wondered if it ever would be "You've got yourself a deal."

Matt and Amy were the last to leave. Both couples shed a few tears, they had spent the last three years as neighbors and friends, it wasn't easy to know they wouldn't be seeing each other every day anymore. "I know I give you a hard time but I'm really gonna miss you two." Matt said as he hugged them both.

"We'll miss you too." Alex replied. "You're still planning on living on Long Island, right?"

Amy nodded "Maybe we can get together sometime."

"Once I enter the academy I won't have much free time. I'll live there while I'm attending but after the first month I'll be free on weekends."

"You can't leave at all?" Matt asked.

"I can but I'll have a curfew. After the first month we will be able to leave for the weekend but have to be back in by Sunday evening."

"Let me guess, Alex here will be driving down from school every weekend?"

Alex nodded and smiled. She and Olivia had already had this discussion several times but she won every time. "I'm coming down every weekend whether she likes it or not. Even if I only get to see her a few hours in the evenings I'll take it. After she graduates and gets an apartment I'll be able to stay there and see her, plus I'll be able to come visit over breaks as well."

"Well once you've graduated from the academy and settled into you job we'll make plans to get together one day." Amy said as she hugged them both one more time. She smiled and leaned in close so only Alex and Olivia could hear her "I know you always liked to say that Matt was jealous of Olivia but I have to say I was always a little jealous as well." Both girls mouth's dropped open "The noises I've heard coming from Olivia," she shook her head and chuckled "Well let's just say you could give Matt a few pointers Alex."

When they finally managed to speak Olivia looked to Alex "Did that really just happen?"

"I…I think it did."

Serena walked over and placed her hand on her daughter's shoulder "I'm going to have to be leaving."

Olivia pulled her in for a hug "I'm so glad you came Mom."

Serena smiled a genuine smile "I am too. It was a lovely evening."

She reached out and hugged Alex, grateful the blonde allowed it. "I would tell you to take care of her but you've been doing that since you were kids. I know she is in good hands." She reached into her purse and handed an envelope to the couple "Here is a little gift for you both."

They were shocked to find three hundred dollars and a piece of paper with a number on it.

"Mom?" Olivia asked slightly confused.

"The money is for you to spend however you want while you're in Hawaii. The piece of paper is your room number."

"What room number?"

"I booked you a room tonight at The Four Seasons. It's reserved under your name Olivia but I am paying for it, which includes any extras you may want including room service."

"Thank you Mom." Olivia cried as she hugged her mother.

"You're welcome. I hope you both have a wonderful trip and would you please let me know when you land? Just so I know you made it safely."

"I promise."

After Serena left they went upstairs to change and pack their bags for Hawaii. Laura had called and rearranged their flight after finding out about the ceremony so they wouldn't have to leave until later Sunday afternoon. They were leaving their bags there and would come back to get them before their flight. They packed just a change of clothes and their personal items for their night at the hotel. As Alex pointed out, she didn't think they'd be needing pajamas that night.

Laura called a cab for them and they said their goodbyes as they waited. John pulled Alex to the side as Laura and Olivia talked. "Alex I know I've said this before but I really want to apologize for my behavior after you and Olivia began dating."

"It's okay Dad."

"No it's not. I truly am sorry." He smiled at her with tears in his eyes "I love you Alex."

Alex couldn't hold back the tears any longer and threw her arms around the older man "I love you too Daddy." She pulled back and quickly wiped her eyes "I know you were just trying to look out for me and do what you thought was best for me. While I didn't exactly like the way you did it I have forgiven you, I forgave you a long time ago."

"Cab's here." Olivia said as she walked over and hugged John goodbye.

Their day had been wonderful, neither could remember the last time they were this happy. As they rode through the city though the tension in the cab continued to build. Olivia was becoming more aware of Alex's hand inching its way up her thigh with every city block. She had to take a moment to control herself when she felt Alex's lips on her neck. "Alex." She said in a warning tone.

Alex pulled away long enough to giggle, she knew Olivia loved when she giggled. "What's wrong?"

"Not now." Olivia whispered as she watched the cab driver. She definitely didn't want to give him a show.

"I hope he hurry's up." she whispered right against the brunette's ear as she slid her hand between Olivia's legs "I can't wait to get you in bed."

Olivia had to will her legs to not give out as they walked into the hotel. She was led Alex up to the desk and registered them as quickly as possible. When they entered the room both were in awe of it. While it was just a regular room it was at the Four Seasons, and their regular rooms were better than many hotels nicest suites. "This is amazing!" she exclaimed as she walked to the window and looked out over the park.

"Yes it is." Alex said as she wrapped her arms around Olivia from behind and held her tight.

They stood for a while, neither were sure how long, simply holding one another looking out over the city. Olivia moaned as she felt Alex's lips on her neck. "Wait."

"Whhhyyy?" Alex whined.

Olivia chuckled and kissed her quickly "I need to go to the bathroom, then I'm all yours."

Alex took a moment to look around the room and check out the room service menu. She wasn't hungry after their dinner but she figured in a few hours they would both be starving.

"That tub is huge! We are definitely trying it out tonight." Olivia said as she walked from the bathroom. The words had barely left her mouth when Alex pushed her against the wall and claimed her lips in a passionate kiss. They stayed locked in a passionate embrace until neither could breathe.

"I don't care where we do it; in the tub, in bed, in the floor or right here against the wall. I just need you right now!" Alex said as she quickly undid the button on Olivia's jeans and slid her hand into her panties and between her legs.

"Oh God!"

In the early morning hours Olivia was struggling to hold her eyes open as she could see the first rays of sun beginning to spread over the city. She was aware of Alex lying next to her, it always brought her comfort knowing they could be together without having to say a word. She tilted her head and smiled at the sight; Alex was laying sprawled out, completely naked and couldn't care less. She had thought the evening before Alex was at her most beautiful, but now seeing her lying naked with the early morning sun reflecting off of her she knew this was when Alex was most beautiful. "You are so beautiful." She whispered as she pressed a kiss to Alex's cheek.

"Not nearly as beautiful as you." Alex said with a smile. She reached up and ran her fingers through Olivia's hair before pulling her down for a kiss. It was slow and loving, it nearly took her breath away. When the kiss finally ended Olivia crawled down the bed to grab the sheet and blankets that had been discarded throughout the night. Alex laughed as she looked at the sheet she was laying on "It's a wonder this one is still on."

Olivia laughed as she lay down and turned to face the blonde "We still need to clean up all that water we splashed out of the bathtub too." Olivia was just beginning to doze off when she felt Alex lightly trailing her fingers over her breast "Alex. We have to be on a plane in a few hours, don't you want to get a little sleep?"

Alex simply slid closer and leaned down pressing her lips to Olivia's breast. "I can think of something else I'd rather do."

Olivia's brain was screaming at her to go to sleep, but points further south were saying something different. She kept her eyes closed hoping maybe Alex would give up and they could get a little sleep. When she felt Alex pull her nipple into her mouth she knew it wasn't going to happen. She quickly rolled so she was on top of the blonde "Screw it, we can sleep on the plane."

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**Hawaii here we come!**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: So sorry for the delay. It's been a very busy week and when I had time to sit down and write my inspiration would disappear on me. Thank you so much for the reviews of the last chapter, despite my typos. I also forgot to give credit. At the end of Alex's 'vows' the last line was a quote from Christopher Robin from Winnie the Pooh. I know it may sound cheesy but I saw it listed somewhere and it just stuck with me. The next chapter will probably jump ahead a bit seeing as they are about to enter the academy/Harvard but it won't be to big of a jump. Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 21

Sun, sand and the ocean stretched out in front of her. It was only their second day in Hawaii and Olivia was already falling in love. She had lived her entire life in New York and had never imagined living anywhere else, but now sitting on the beach in a tropical paradise she was having second thoughts. She began wondering if she could convince Alex to just forget about law school and the academy and they would simply live the rest of their lives in a little house on the beach. She was pulled from her thoughts when she saw a familiar blonde head pop out of the water. A smile spread across her face as she watched Alex slowly walk from the water and up the beach to where she was sitting.

Olivia allowed her eyes to slowly wander from Alex's face down her body, loving the sight of her in a deep blue bikini. She smiled and shook her head as she took in one of her favorite things about Alex, her insanely long legs. She looked over as Alex collapsed into the chair beside her "You are so hot."

Alex flashed her a bright smile and turned on her best southern accent "Well my, my Ms. Benson, I do believe you are trying to get into my pants."

Olivia started laughing "You love it and you know it."

Alex leaned over and placed a quick kiss to Olivia's lips "You look amazing, I love that color on you."

Olivia had bought a new deep purple bikini for their trip and she had refused to let Alex see it until the first time she wore it. Needless to say the look on Alex's face was exactly the look she had hoped for. "I thought you might like it." She reached out and took Alex's hand in her own before settling back into their chairs and staring out at the view in front of them.

Alex dug her toes deeper into the sand as she thought about their trip so far. Their first day on the island it had rained all day, leaving them cooped up inside the hotel. After the exhausting weekend they'd had both welcomed being able to stay in bed and sleep, of course sleeping wasn't the only thing they did. She began laughing as she thought about their race to make their flight.

"What are you laughing at?"

"I was thinking about Sunday morning, and how we barely made our flight."

"Well if someone would've just gone to sleep that morning like I wanted to we wouldn't have overslept."

"I don't remember hearing any complaints _coming _from you." Alex shot back with a pointed look.

Olivia blushed slightly as she closed her eyes and thought back on that morning.

_Olivia groaned as she began to wake up, there was no doubt in her mind she had overworked several muscles the night before. She smiled when she saw Alex lying next to her. Olivia rolled over to look at the alarm clock, she gasped when she saw the time. "Alex, wake up!"_

"_Hmm?" Alex asked sleepily as she rolled over and tried to pull Olivia back to her. "Five more minutes Liv."_

"_It's almost noon!" Olivia said as she jumped from the bed and grabbed her clothes from their bag. She looked back to see the blonde slowly beginning to wake up. She walked over and pulled the sheet back, normally she would take a moment to look at the blonde but not today. "Alex!" she reached down and shook her lover "Move your ass Alex we're gonna miss our flight!"_

_Alex bolted from the bed "Why did you let us oversleep?" she asked as she ran into the bathroom and climbed in the shower with Olivia._

_Olivia whirled around as she washed her hair "Me? Are you serious? I wanted to go to sleep this morning but you wanted to do something else."_

_Alex gave Olivia a quick peck on the lips "You loved every minute of it and you know it."_

_After showering they grabbed their things, checked out and caught a cab back to Alex's parent's house. They rushed through the door barely saying hello to John and Laura. Both were thankful they had packed the day before. Alex called out for her mother to call a cab for them. They ran downstairs and finally stopped to take a breath as they waited for the cab. _

"_You're pushing it aren't you?" John asked as he looked at his watch._

"_We overslept." Alex said as she searched through her purse, not finding what she was looking for she began searching Olivia's._

"_Overslept huh?" Laura smirked._

"_We stayed up late." Olivia said with a faint blush._

"_I bet you did." Laura teased._

"_Give them a break Laura." John said as he tried to shake the images from his head._

_Laura pat her husband on the arm "Oh come on, it was essentially their wedding night. I seem to remember we stayed up pretty late on our wedding night as well."_

"_Gross Mom!" Alex shouted as she looked up from her scavenger hunt through Olivia's purse. She looked to Olivia with a panicked expression "Where's the plane tickets?"_

_Olivia reached down and pulled them from the side of her bag "They're right here sweetheart, calm down." she could see Alex was nearing a meltdown. If there was one thing the blonde didn't like it was being late or being rushed. Olivia lightly ran her hands up and down Alex's arms "Hey, it's going to be okay. We're not going to miss our flight." She smiled as she could see Alex begin to relax._

_John and Laura looked to one another and smiled as they watched the young couple. Both would readily admit that Olivia was good for Alex, she had such a calming effect on her. They loved their daughter dearly but she had always liked to be in control, she could also turn a bit dramatic at times. One thing they had noticed after she and Olivia became friends was Olivia's ability to calm her. Now it seemed all it took was a simple look or touch from the brunette and Alex calmed down almost immediately. _

_Laura leaned closer to her husband as she watched both girls continue to get lost in their own little world "I don't think we could've chosen a more perfect person for her if we tried."_

"_It's because there isn't a more perfect person for her than Olivia."_

_There was a quick round of hugs and goodbyes when the cab pulled up. Olivia told him they were headed to JFK before settling back in next to Alex._

_Alex leaned forward "We're in a bit of a hurry, so there's an extra twenty in it for you if you can get us there as quickly as possible."_

_The man smiled in the review mirror "Buckle up."_

_Both breathed a sigh of relief as they boarded the plane, they had made it to the airport and through security with half an hour to spare. Alex took Olivia's hand in hers and placed a kiss just above her ring "I love you."_

"_I love you too."_

_Alex laid her head back "Pretty soon it's going to be just you, me and the beach. It's going to be the best week of our lives."_

"_I can't wait." Olivia replied as she settled in to her seat._

"Come on, I want to get in the water." Olivia said as she stood and held her hand out.

Alex took Olivia's hand and squealed as she was pulled to her feet. She pressed a quick kiss to Olivia's lips "Race ya." She took off running toward the water and thought for sure she had won when she felt Olivia grab her from behind as they both fell into the water.

They spent the afternoon swimming and laying on the beach. That evening after dinner they stopped in a club for a little dancing. They weren't big partiers but they liked dancing, sometimes in their old apartment they would spend the evening dancing in their living room.

Alex made her way back through the bar towards their table with their drinks. As she neared the table she saw a guy talking to Olivia. She didn't like the way he was leaning in close to the brunette, but when she saw the annoyed look on Olivia's face she instantly became jealous. As she sat their drinks on the table she felt the need to let him know Olivia was hers. She leaned in and pressed a kiss to Olivia's lips "Here you go baby."

"Baby, huh?" he asked as he stood a little straighter.

"That's right" Alex said as she placed her left hand next to Olivia's, showing off their matching rings.

"See, I wasn't lying when I told you I was with someone." Olivia said as she smiled and leaned into Alex.

"So you're really a couple?"

"Since we were sixteen." Alex said proudly.

He dropped his head before leaning across the table "Well since you're together I guess there's no need in me asking you out, is there?" Olivia shook her head no. "Then how about I ask you both out? I'm staying in a nice little beach house, it's very private." He smiled as he looked between the two "I think we could have a lot of fun. Even if you're opposed to being with me I'm more than happy to watch."

"I don't even think so." Alex smirked as she leaned in closer "Trust me, you couldn't handle it anyway."

The guy shook his head as he turned and walked away.

Alex was turning to look at Olivia but was taken by surprise when she felt Olivia's lips against her own. She moaned as Olivia tugged on her bottom lip as she pulled away. "What was that for?"

"For being so cute when you're jealous." Olivia laughed.

Alex chuckled as they both finished off their drinks. "I'm not that jealous, however I want everyone out there to know that you are mine." She stood and pulled Olivia up with her "Dance with me?"

"Always."

The longer they stayed on the dance floor the closer they got. Alex slid her hands low on Olivia's hips holding them close together. She had to push the thought from her mind that they wouldn't be able to enjoy moments like this for much longer. Every so often she thought about how pretty soon they wouldn't be together every day but she had decided that this was their time and she refused to think about what was coming.

Olivia began running her hands up and down Alex's sides as they danced to the music. The top Alex was wearing was open in the back with just a small strap tying it behind her neck. She would occasionally allow her fingers to slip further and further under the material, allowing her thumbs to graze the side of her breasts. She began grinding her hips against Alex's, and grinning as she could hear Alex moan in response.

Alex gasped as Olivia began placing light kisses along her neck "Wha…what are you doing?" she asked as she began grinding against Olivia's hips as well, looking for any friction she could.

"I also want to make sure everyone here knows you're mine." Olivia made sure their bodies were pressed close enough together so no one could see what she was doing. She slide her hands under the material that made up the front of Alex's shirt and cupped her breasts.

Alex squeaked as Olivia lightly brushed her thumbs over her nipples "Let's go, now."

They stumbled down the hall of their hotel toward their room. Neither were drunk, they had only had one drink, but they did have a slight buzz. Of course the fact they were unable to keep their hands off one another was adding to their inability to walk.

Olivia pushed Alex up against their door and began kissing her "I can't wait to get you inside."

"Then I suggest you hurry up and open the door because I'm ready to take you right here in the hall." She replied as she slipped her hand in Olivia's back pocket and pulled the room key out.

Olivia took the key from Alex and slid her arms around her waist to unlock the door. She began having trouble though when Alex unbuttoned her jeans and began sliding the zipper down. Olivia moaned and dropped her head onto Alex's shoulder "God, Alex. Please let me open the door."

Alex grinned as she continued to lightly tease Olivia by allowing her fingers to dip behind her panties "Hurry."

Both were so caught up in what Alex was doing that they didn't realize Olivia had unlocked the door. They fell into the room landing in a heap in the floor, laughter filling the room as they realized what happened. Olivia reached out and kicked the door shut. "Well, we're finally in the room."

Alex stood and pulled Olivia up with her. They began stripping as they made their way to the bed, a trail of clothing left in their wake. Alex pushed Olivia down onto the bed then straddled her "You better hang on, because I'm about to rock you're world."

Olivia began laughing but was quickly silenced as Alex pressed their lips together.

The next day they held hands as they sat on the side of the boat watching the scenery. They had decided that in order to save money they would each pick out one 'big' outing while they were on vacation. Olivia had wanted to swim with the dolphins, so they were now on a boat with several others headed out to where they would go swimming with the dolphins.

Olivia was a little nervous when the dolphins began swimming toward them, but as soon as they circled around her and Alex all the nervousness went away.

"That was freakin amazing!" she shouted as they surfaced.

Alex smiled at Olivia's enthusiasm. She had decided when they were young that she would do anything to make Olivia happy, to make her smile. Now that Olivia was finally happy Alex knew she would do anything within her power to keep seeing a smile like that. "It was amazing."

They stayed in the water for a little while longer, holding onto the dolphins as they were pulled along as they swam. When it was time to head back to the beach Olivia couldn't stop talking the entire boat ride. This was an experience she would never forget. "Thank you for doing this with me." she said as she placed a kiss to Alex's cheek.

"If it means getting to see you smile like you did, I'd do it a thousand times over."

That evening they went on a group hike to the top of an inactive volcano to watch the sunset. When they returned to their hotel both were so exhausted they were asleep before their heads hit the pillow.

The next day was Alex's choice of activity. She had always wanted to try surfing and figured Hawaii was the perfect place to learn. Olivia took the lesson but failed to catch on, she spent more time in the water than she did on her surfboard. Alex on the other hand caught on quickly and spent the rest of the day on a surfboard, with Olivia sitting on the beach watching her.

"That is so much fun!" Alex exclaimed as she dropped her surfboard and collapsed in a chair next to Olivia.

"It looks like fun, although I much more enjoy sitting here watching you."

Alex reached out and took Olivia's drink, taking a quick sip "I'm gonna go back out for a bit before we go back in."

The next few days seemed to pass more quickly than the last. They spent some time shopping but most of their time was spent lying on the beach. Both could feel a sense of dread at their vacation ending, knowing that once it did they would be spending the next four years apart.

"I love it here." Olivia sighed as she slid closer to Alex on the double lounger they were sharing.

"Me too. We'll have to come back again." Alex said as she laid her head on the brunette's shoulder.

"Too bad we can't live here forever." She smiled "You know find a nice little house and just spend the rest of our lives on the beach."

Alex pulled back to look Olivia in the eye "That sounds great but what about your dream of going to the academy?"

"If you really wanted to stay here I'd give it up."

"You'd give up the academy?" Alex asked a little surprised.

"For you I would." Olivia replied seriously.

Alex began to tear up at the sincerity in Olivia's voice. "And I would gladly give up Harvard if it meant your happiness."

Olivia stared into Alex's eyes, wondering what she ever did to deserve someone so wonderful. "I know you would but I don't think either one of us is ready to give up on our dreams just yet." She leaned in for a kiss. "Maybe that little house near the beach will still be here when we retire."

Alex laughed as she wrapped her arm around Olivia's waist "I'm sure it will."

The morning they were to fly home they woke just before the sun came up and made love twice. They were now laying as close as possible facing one another; their legs tangled together, Alex lightly running her fingers along Olivia's back while Olivia lightly trailed her fingers along Alex's arm. Alex's lips finding Olivia's in the still somewhat dark room.

Alex's lips were warm and soft, even though she'd been kissing the blonde for years she made a point to commit this moment to memory. "I'm going to miss this." She whispered into the kiss.

Alex struggled to hold the tears back "Me too." She pressed their foreheads together. "I'm not sure I'm ready for this. I don't know that I can get up every day and face the world without seeing you first."

Olivia sighed "It's not going to be easy for me either." She had to swallow the tears back, she didn't want their last day to end with tears. "Look at it this way though, we'll at least get to see each other on the weekends and once I graduate I plan on coming up to see you on my days off."

"I know, but it's not going to be the same as seeing you every day."

They both grew quiet for a moment trying to hold back their tears. Their only comfort coming from the feeling of their bodies pressed together.

After a little time laying together Olivia finally pulled back "The suns up. What do you say we order room service and have breakfast on the balcony one last time?"

After breakfast they showered and packed their bags. They called their parents to let them know they were leaving and what time their flight left, both promising to call them back when they land in LA for their layover.

As they sat waiting to board their flight Olivia looked over and smiled "This has been one of the best, if not the best, weeks of my life."

"Mine too." Alex grinned "I also found out that I really like wine."

Olivia chuckled as she remembered the night she bought a bottle of wine for them to share in their room "You didn't seem to like it to well the next morning."

"Yeah well if someone would've stopped me from drinking most of the bottle myself that wouldn't have happened."

They tried to keep smiles on their faces but it became difficult when the announcement for their flight came over the speakers. As the plane took off they stared out the window, making sure to get one last look at the tropical paradise.

"I guess this means we have to return to the real world." Alex said as she finally allowed a few tears to escape.

Olivia wiped her own eyes before gently drying Alex's tears "Yeah it does, but look at it this way, it just means we're one step closer to being able to be together again. I mean the sooner I start the academy and you start law school the sooner it will be over and we can be together again." she could see the sadness in the blonde's eyes and knew it was visible in her own. She took Alex's hand and placed it over her heart then placed her hand over Alex's "Even though we're going to be apart physically we're still together. I'm always here," she said as she lightly pressed her hand to Alex's chest "And you're always in here. So no matter where we go we'll always be together."

Alex crashed their lips together not caring who was watching "I love you Olivia Benson, I love you so much."

"And I love you Alex Cabot. I'll love you forever and a day."

They leaned into one another as they settled in for their flight. Both knew the next four years were going to be rough but at the same time they knew that once it was over they would be together again, and they would be together for the rest of their lives.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N:Thank you again for the follows & reviews. This one has a little bit of everything; fluffy, happy, sad & even a little humor. I hope to have the next chapter up soon. I also have an idea for a one shot that's been bugging me for days, and got the idea for another one on the way home from work today. I hope to begin them soon as well. Let me know what you think. As always, enjoy!**

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Chapter 22

The months since graduating from college seemed to pass at an agonizing pace. Olivia had entered the academy just after the beginning of June and Alex had started at Harvard in August. After returning home from Hawaii they had returned to their apartment and packed everything up, Olivia then accompanied Alex to Cambridge to look for an apartment. She wanted to check the apartment out for herself to make sure that Alex would be safe. After the encounter with Derek Olivia didn't want to take any chances.

True to her word Alex had come home every weekend to see the brunette. The first month she was at the academy Olivia was only allowed to leave at certain times, so the most they could get was dinner or a movie. If they were lucky, and Alex's parents were gone, they could have an evening alone. After the first month Olivia was allowed to leave for the weekend, and they would spend the time together.

It was now the end of October and it had been a month since they had been able to see each other. Olivia often joked that it was a like the plot of a romantic comedy, and in her opinion a bad one at that. The first weekend Alex was unable to come home due to a charity event she was asked to help with. The following weekend Olivia had come down with a terrible cold. She knew the only thing that would make her feel better would be to see the blonde but she begged Alex not to come, she didn't want her getting sick as well. It turns out it wouldn't have mattered because the next weekend Alex came down with a cold and couldn't come home.

It was now Friday afternoon and all Olivia could think about was seeing Alex. They were in the training center doing pushups, Olivia was grateful for the exercise to work off the excited energy she had at knowing she would be seeing Alex in just a few hours. It was also a perfect way to work off all the pent up energy she had from not being with Alex. A month apart was nearly killing her when she had become accustomed to their healthy, and very active sex life.

Olivia walked back to the room she shared with five other women and began packing up her bag. She was grateful that all six of them got along well. She knew there were a few other women in other rooms who did not get along. The girl who had the bunk next to hers, Ashley, was the only person Olivia had shared with that she and Alex was together. One afternoon, about a month after Olivia entered the academy, she and Ashley were alone in their room. Ashely had asked about the ring on Olivia's finger. Olivia was afraid to tell her but she had never heard the other girl say anything derogatory or rude toward another person. She told Ashely that Alex was her partner and was away at Harvard. She breathed a sigh of relief when Ashley was happy for her.

"You seem to be in a bit of a hurry." Ashley smirked as she entered the room. "Let me guess, Alex is coming home."

Olivia smiled brightly "It's been a month since I've seen her and I can't wait!"

Olivia was about to leave the room when Ashley pat her on the shoulder "Have a good weekend." She waggled her eyebrows "Just don't overdo it, I don't want to see you collapsing during our workout Monday morning."

Olivia blushed but laughed "No promises."

Alex sat in her car watching the recruits as they left the campus. She waited patiently for the one she wanted to see most. She knew that any minute Olivia would walk out, make a right and head for the subway and catch a train to Alex's old neighborhood. She would visit Serena a couple evenings a week when she was able to go out but on the weekends Alex was home she stayed at the Cabot's. Alex perked up when she saw Olivia step onto the sidewalk. It had only been a month since they had last seen each other but it felt like a lifetime to Alex. She had to convince herself that it wouldn't be appropriate for her to run up and take the brunette right there on the sidewalk. Alex eased the car out into traffic and slowly followed Olivia. She waited till she was almost to the corner, rolled the passenger window down and whistled "Hey hot stuff, want a ride?"

Olivia practically squealed when she heard the one voice she loved more than any other. She ran over and leaned in the window, flashing her cocky smile as she did so "Sweetheart I'll take a ride from you any day." She opened the back door and threw her bag in before jumping in the front seat.

Alex practically jumped across the console onto Olivia's lap and pressed their lips together. She moaned as she felt Olivia slip her tongue into her mouth. She decided right then and there that a month apart was far too long. When they finally parted both were gasping for air. "God I've missed you!"

"I've missed you too." Olivia said before leaning in for another kiss.

They were startled back to reality by the sound of the horn from the car behind them, earning the driver the finger from Alex.

They held hands as Alex drove through the streets of Manhattan towards her parent's Upper East Side home. They talked about how their week had been; from Alex's classes and what she thought of her professors to Olivia's training as well as comparing notes on what they were learning about the law.

The couple barely made it through the door before they were in each other's arms. Lips crashing together, tongues dueling and hands roaming. Olivia became aware of where they were when she felt Alex's hands working their way up under her shirt "Alex…Alex, um, your Mom and Dad?"

"They're not home." she whispered as she began placing kisses along Olivia's neck "Weekend trip to Connecticut to visit friends." She began lightly flicking her tongue over the spot just below Olivia's left ear, knowing what it would do to her "Mom figured we'd want the place to ourselves." She whispered as she began pushing Olivia backwards toward the stairs.

"God I love your Mom." Olivia groaned as she began undoing the buttons on Alex's shirt.

Several hours later they lay next to each other, completely spent. The only sound in the room was the labored breathing as both tried to catch their breath. Olivia rose up and leaned over Alex, lightly pressing their lips together "I love you."

Alex tried to hold the tears back "I've missed this, you have no idea how much I've missed this." She said as she reached up and brushed the hair back from Olivia's face.

Olivia grinned "Missed what, me or the sex?"

"Mostly the sex, but I've missed you too." She said with the straightest face she could muster before erupting into laughter.

Olivia shook her head as she laughed "I've missed you too." She lay down and rested her head on Alex's shoulder "I've missed you like crazy."

They had just settled into a comfortable silence when the sound of their stomachs growling filled the room. "I guess we should eat."

Alex grinned mischievously "I'm pretty sure we've both _eaten_."

Olivia shook her head "Really Alex?"

After climbing from bed and changing into sweats they made their way downstairs. They both laughed as they picked up their clothes; Alex's bra laying in the hallway, Olivia's shirt hanging off the railing, their jeans on the stairs.

"Should we order takeout?" Olivia asked as they entered the kitchen.

"I have takeout almost every day I want something homemade. The only time I get homemade food is on Tuesday night when I have dinner with my grandparents." The only thing that made her time at Harvard easier was the fact that her grandparents lived in Boston.

"I know the feeling, food at the academy isn't the greatest. I luck out though and get to have dinner with my wonderful in-laws once a week and if I'm lucky maybe with my Mom."

Alex opened the refrigerator and squealed.

"What?" Olivia asked as she made her way over to Alex's side.

"My Mom made us dinner!"

They sat at the counter eating dinner like they had many times over the years. "So how's your Mom?"

Olivia began pushing her food around her plate "She's drinking again." She and Serena had developed a bit of a relationship after high school and while things were still good she couldn't help but wonder when things would go south again.

Alex squeezed Olivia's hand in her own "I'm sorry." She took a sip of her wine "Is it just normal drinking, or like, bad drinking?"

Olivia smiled sadly "Normal drinking for her is bad drinking for most people." She waited a minute before continuing. "I mean it's not been as bad as it was when I was growing up, or at least it's not when I'm around her. I do think she's drinking pretty heavy though. I called her Friday evening and I could tell she was pretty hammered, when I saw her on Sunday she didn't even remember talking to me."

"Do you want to go see her?"

Olivia smiled as she turned to face the blonde "No. I can see her any time I want, I only get to see you once a week, if I'm lucky."

After cleaning up from dinner they grabbed some ice cream and headed to the sofa to watch a movie. Neither realized how much they missed being able to lay together on the sofa and watch a movie. Olivia was laying with her head in Alex's lap while Alex gently ran her fingers through her hair. Olivia couldn't remember the last time she was so relaxed. She tilted her head to look up at the blonde when she heard Alex sniffle.

"Alex, sweetie, are you crying?" like they had multiple times as teens they were watching Dirty Dancing, she knew it wasn't a movie that made Alex cry.

Alex quickly wiped her tears and shook her head no.

Olivia grabbed the remote and paused the movie before sitting up. "You are crying. Please tell me what's wrong. Was it something I did?"

Alex smiled sadly and shook her head "No it's not you, it would never be you."

"School?"

Alex sighed, she didn't want to tell Olivia what was bothering her but at the same time she knew she needed to. "You have a lot of bruises."

"Huh?

Alex wiped her tears again, silently cursing herself for not being able to control her emotions "When we were in bed I noticed you have a lot of bruises. Some were fading but some looked new." She grew quiet, unable to finish speaking.

Olivia pulled her close "It's nothing Alex." She watched as Alex pulled back and looked at her skeptically. "Alex I get them working out, in training."

"What kind of training?" Part of Alex wanted to know every little detail about Olivia's training at the academy and yet another part of her didn't want to know anything about it.

"Well there's hand to hand combat training, there's firearms training." She felt bad at the look of worry and fear that crossed Alex's features. "I'm okay though Alex, I promise."

"I know but it just makes me worry even more about you." she took a deep breath to try and calm down "I mean if this is what's happening now, what's going to happen once you're on the street?" suddenly it felt as if the flood gates had opened "You're going to be facing criminals and dangerous situations. There's going to be people with guns and knives and some of them will want to kill you. I just…I just worry about you so much as it is now, I don't know what I'm going to do once you're out there with all the murderers, thieves and rapists."

"I'm going to be fine Alex, I promise you." she took Alex's left hand in her own and began toying with the ring she'd placed there just a few months ago " I promised you that I would love you and be with you forever. It's a promise I don't intend on breaking."

Alex grinned "I'm holding you to that." she said as she pressed their lips together.

Olivia pulled back and took a moment to look at Alex. Something had been on her mind for a couple weeks and she had been waiting to talk to Alex about it in person, she just didn't know how to approach it. "Alex there's something I need to talk to you about."

Alex nodded, urging her to continue, all the while bracing herself for what she was about to hear.

"So you know how I listed you as my emergency contact." Alex nodded again. "Well here in the next few weeks I'll have to fill out more paperwork for once I graduate and am assigned to a precinct. I want you to know that you're going to be my emergency contact, your Mom will be listed second and my Mom listed third. In the event that anything is to happen to me I want you to be notified first." She noticed the fresh tears in Alex's eyes and hated to upset her during their weekend but at the same time they had to discuss it.

"Won't it upset your Mom that she's not first?"

Olivia shrugged "It might but I kinda doubt it. I mean even if she'd been the best Mom in the world I'd still list you first. If our relationship had been different then I'd list her before Laura but in all honesty your Mom has been more of a mother to me than my own, and she knows that. When I told her how I'd made you my emergency contact she was okay with it and said that it should be you." she sighed "I made your Mom second because I knew that if something happened to me she would notify you immediately. If my Mom was on one of her binges who knows when she would tell you."

They were both quiet for a moment before Olivia continued. "I also have something else to ask. How does a medical power of attorney work?"

Alex felt her heart begin to pound at the thought of Olivia needing one. Just thinking that the brunette would be in a medical situation where she could not make decisions for herself killed her. "Well just what I know about it is that whoever you designate will make medical decisions for you in the event you're not able too." She choked out a sob "That's not going to happen to you though."

Olivia wiped her tears "Alex I don't intend on anything happening but with the career I'm going to have it is a possibility. If I were to be in an accident, or God forbid I'm shot I want you making the decisions." She had already accepted what her career could hold for her but she could tell by the look in Alex's eyes that it was something she was still struggling with. "There's also another reason. Alex we're not married, at least not legally, and there's a chance you could be kept from seeing me."

Alex's eyes widened "Like hell! If you're hurt, the army couldn't keep me from being by your side."

Olivia laughed at the reaction, she didn't expect any less.

"Olivia you are my partner, my best friend, and hopefully one day I will be able to call you my wife. That being said I don't have any legal standing to see you or make medical decisions for you. So if you want to I can have my Dad draw up the papers and when I'm home next weekend we can sign them and get them notarized." She smiled "If I'm going to be yours then I want you to be mine."

"I'd love to be yours." Olivia said as she laid back down and pulled Alex down with her. Alex was about to shift sideways but Olivia stopped her "No, I want you laying on top of me."

"Okay." Alex shifted slightly so that her head was resting on Olivia's chest. She grabbed the remote and started the movie again. She sighed and relaxed as Olivia placed a kiss to the top of her head and began running her fingers through her hair. They remained that way the rest of the night, finally falling asleep wrapped in one another's arms.

Saturday was spent by going for a late breakfast at one of their favorite diners in Alex's neighborhood, then enjoying the beautiful fall day with a walk in Central Park. Both enjoyed their time out but at the same time they were trying to push the thoughts from their minds that with each passing moment it brought them one moment closer to when they would be apart again.

That evening as they were having dinner Alex was telling Olivia about the friends she had made and how she couldn't wait to introduce Olivia to them.

"So they know about us?" Olivia asked as she sat her wine glass down.

"Um, only two people know. Alyssa who lives on the floor above me and Aaron from my constitution law class. Aaron and I have been partnered on several assignments and one evening we were sitting in a coffee shop, I told him my partner is going to be an NYPD officer. He asked if you were going to arrest them and I would put them away." She began laughing at the memory "I told him we would be the new version of Cagney and Lacey."

Olivia laughed at the mention of one of their favorite shows from their childhood "Just remember I'm Cagney."

Alex shook her head "No way Liv! How many times have we been through this? I have blonde hair so I'm Cagney, you're a brunette so you're Lacey."

"No I'm not. Lacey lived in Queens. There's no way I would live in Queens! I mean can you imagine me in Queens?" she began grinning "Can you imagine living in Queens?"

Alex shuddered slightly at the thought "No way!" she was struggling to stop laughing "Oh my God, what if you get stationed there?"

"Oh no!" Olivia looked up "Please God let me be stationed in Manhattan!"

Alex grew quiet "So, do you think you'll be able to come up and visit me soon?"

Olivia grinned "I forgot to tell you, the weekend after next I can come up to visit." Alex's eyes went wide as she smiled brightly. Olivia explained that since that Friday would be a city holiday they would be released on Thursday instead. She was planning on driving up and spending the weekend with her.

Alex was so excited, she couldn't wait for Olivia to meet her friends and show her a few of her newfound favorite places.

After dinner and cleaning up they had planned to watch a movie, it didn't take long for the movie to be forgotten and the couple to be wrapped up in one another.

"I think it's time we go to bed." Alex said between kisses.

Olivia stood and pulled Alex up with her, laughing as Alex jumped and wrapped her legs around her waist. "I like the way you think." Olivia slid her hands down to Alex's hips and held her tight as she began heading up the stairs to the bedroom.

Sunday morning dawned all too quickly. Olivia slowly opened her eyes and felt her breath catch as she looked at Alex lying next to her. This was one of the things she missed most about not being together every day. She missed holding Alex in her arms at night and Alex holding her tight as she slept. She missed watching the blonde sleep, the slight noises she made and how her lips would curl into a faint smile when she was dreaming.

Alex began to wake up and smiled "I find it creepy that you watch me sleep." She said before finally opening her eyes and meeting the brown eyes she'd fallen in love with years ago.

"Um, how's it creepy when you do the same thing?" Olivia asked as she leaned in for a good morning kiss.

"Because you are so freakin cute when you sleep!" Alex quickly kissed Olivia to stop the laughter "I'm serious! You look so peaceful, relaxed and so beautiful. Plus the way your nose crinkles in your sleep. Ugh, so cute!"

Olivia began laughing and her nose crinkled.

Alex pointed and began talking excitedly "There! That's what I'm talking about!" she placed a kiss to the tip of the brunette's nose "I love you so much."

Olivia turned serious for a moment "I love you too. I love you more than I could ever say." She slid closer to her partner and held her tight "As much as it sucked not seeing each other for a month I think knowing we have to leave each other today hurts even more."

Alex sighed "The whole thing sucks." She tried not to cry "I mean I know neither of us are really willing to give up on our dreams but I just wish we didn't have to be apart."

"Me too sweetheart," Olivia sighed "Me too."

That afternoon Olivia sat in the passenger seat of Alex's car, trying to convince herself that she had to get out. She took several deep breaths trying to calm her nerves. She relaxed slightly when Alex reached out and placed a comforting hand on her leg. "I'm still sitting here in the car and I already miss you so much."

"I miss you too." Alex said as she placed a kiss to Olivia's cheek "Just keep telling yourself that it's only five days till we can see each other again. I know that's the only thing that keeps me going."

Olivia no longer cared that some of her fellow recruits could be watching, she leaned in and began kissing Alex with everything she had.

When they finally parted Alex wiped Olivia's tears "You have to go." She hated to tell Olivia to leave but she knew she had a curfew.

"I know, I know." Olivia said as she reluctantly climbed from the car. She leaned back in "I love you."

"I love you too." Alex waited until Olivia was back inside the building. She pulled into traffic and started her trip back to school. As she sat at a red light she finally allowed the tears to fall. When the light changed she quickly wiped her tears and cranked the stereo. "Five more days." she said out loud "Five more days."


End file.
